Feminine Dictionary now out

I just went for a bridal shower and here were these small scrolls handed to us as a thank you note. I opened mine and this is what it read...

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish..............................49
Adventurous.....................Slept with all your friends
Athletic............................No boobs
Average looking.................Ugly
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure..............On medication
Feminist............................Fat
Free spirit..........................Junkie
Friendship first...................Former slut
Fun..................................Annoying
Gentle..............................Dull
New Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded.....................Desperate
Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
Poet.................................Depressive
Professional.......................Bitch
Romantic...........................Frigid
Voluptuous........................Very Fat
Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................Stalker
Widow..............................Murderer

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

Posted: at 15-01-2009 08:48 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie

ha ha =)) that is really very funny. and... i mostly...true

Posted: at 16-01-2009 03:16 AM (15 years ago) | Upcoming

 

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Posted: at 8-02-2009 11:08 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

this is dumb

Posted: at 8-02-2009 08:39 PM (15 years ago) | Upcoming

i wonder o,help me ask am o,cs dis is rubbish n disrespect 2 REAL MEN.

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Posted: at 9-02-2009 01:27 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

that was 2 good.

Posted: at 12-02-2009 06:25 AM (15 years ago) | Newbie

 

That was funny and really cool.
.............. Kudos to you for that

Posted: at 12-02-2009 12:26 PM (15 years ago) | Upcoming

Pretty palmer, am bored, Tegababy, May I have this dance? DarkCoco, Can I call you sometime? Toshyno, Do you want to go to a movie? or Can I just take you out to dinner? somebody tell onyin she has a nice dress!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: at 12-02-2009 12:53 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

Iphie, welcome, seems i wuld like to take out to dinner instead of toshyno!!!

Posted: at 12-02-2009 01:09 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

very funny,...

Posted: at 12-02-2009 04:01 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie