A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then finally dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch the wall! .....Please dont let her rise again!"

  NADA NO...i liked maths, additional maths and physics.

The next person is a very bad player!

One more thing, work is work, i mean ur phone shouldnt be even on during working hours, and theres no point keeping the heat to yourself without her knowing you're being threatened. U guys can really have it together if u play by the RULES...

haha..............not sure, which is celtel anyway?.....i use to know of econet, mtn and the new one glo.... but if am to choose, i think MTN.

Brad pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio (charming)

Picnic by the Lake (more fun).

Beyounce or Rowland Kelly (better artist)

haha.......... $1 kish..........nice 1

Na wao..........pride goes before ,,.,,,,, .  Theres still hope for humble west hammers, even we're not seeing the silver linen now

efa231  ........ i dont think the issue is too (as in extremely complicated), what you need to know is that every guy deserves TRUE love, from what i can read, the girl is really in LOVE with you, and it will be a big flaw if you do not reciprocate the gesture in a similar manner (except you have obvious reasons for not loving her, of which i dont think senior officers should be). You should look at it this way, those guys dont really love her, they just want to get her, use her and probably dump her. Even if Dee wont be your life partner, just for sake of being a MAN try to stand your ground and look at her as a sister.
Also about the yoruba, calabar stuff, forget that thing.......what will u say about, Nigerians marrying whites or marrying Jamaicans, See true Love Has no boundaries, though obstacles are bound to come (in some), but your guts as a MAN to overcome the obstacles, will make LOVE take it's place.....
So, only if u have good reason for not loving her, then u can hide, otherwise.....prove yourself!

HAUSA language !

Whats your most annoying moment ......last week

Haha.......true! ..... BTW most pple re dark.....lol.

The next person is a TV addict...

Naija women.

Nigga raw or Ruggedman better flows in rapping.

No police are more corrupt ...

Guys initiate more breakups than the babes

Sharp Naija Guy

Aboard an Italian airline from London, an American turns to his Nigerian co passenger & says hey! Let's play a fun game, I will ask u a question if u don't know d answer u give me $5 & vice-versa. The Nigerian is already too tired & just wants to go back 2 sleep, so he politely declines the offer, the yank persists; he now says "ok if I don't know your question
I will pay u $100 the naija guy opens his eyes, but being too
tired & not wanting d yank to pester him endlessly agrees 2

play along. D yank asks him how far is d earth from the moon,

d Nigerian does not say anything but brings out his wallet &

gives d yank $5. Now it is d naija's turn he goes thus "what

goes up a hill on 3 legs & comes down on four legs". Nna, fear

catch d yank. He brings out his laptop searches all his

references but he couldn't find d answer, so he connects a

modem to d air phone, he surfs d net, e-mails his co workers

no solution-, finally he turns to d Nigerian & taps him on d

shoulder then he humbly gives d naija man $100, d naija guy

accepts it and goes back to sleep.this annoys d yank & he

asks him so what's d answer ?. D naija man simply brings out

his wallet & gives d yank a $5 note

Aight, having problems with ur babe?....no problem try these, if she doesn't smile at the end of the 23rd tip...run.... Hold ur shoes and fly....runaway..


1. Tell her she is beautiful or gorgeous(not fine, or sexy)

2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . even if its just for a second.

3 . Kiss her on the forehead/ neck.

4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.

6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.

7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.

8 . Write her notes. (she loves them)

9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend.

10 . Play with her hair...

11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her.

12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.

13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes.

14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.

15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her.

16 . Give her piggyback rides.

17 . Bring her flowers

18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.

19 . Look her in the eyes and smile.

20 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.

21 . Kiss her in the rain.

22 . If your in love with her . . . tell her.

23. Play a song for her most likely on a guitar.

A Nigerian business tycoon was at a social gathering where other wealthy men were present. The businessman looked for all ways to oppress the other rich men who were present at the gathering. Just for that foolish reason, he sent for his driver and had this conversation with him:

"Driver, go to my house, not the green one, the red one. Not the red one in Ikoyi, the red one in Victoria Island. Not the one in Adeola Odeku, the one on Etim Iyang Crescent. Not No 22, but No 11. It is a black gate you will see, fling it open.

You will see a green Honda Civic. Perpendicularly, adjacently opposite to the Civic is a blue Toyota Carina E. It is not that one. Trigonometrically, geometrically, hypotenously 90 degrees to the 306 is a Mazda 929. It is not that one. The Mazda is very close to a regular Benz, the regular Benz is behind a 406, the 406 is beside Volvo S40 which is in front of a Honda Accord blocking a Toyota RAV4 opposite a Honda CRV. That makes a crescent to the Prado Jeep.

On getting to the Prado Jeep, make a diagonal sharp turn to the left extreme right top corner, on your way to where I parked the M-Class, very close to the E-Class in front of the Beast at the back of the swimming pool is a lovely S Type Jaguar. Don't touch the bonnet. Go to the boot, fling it open. You will see red, white and blue briefcases. The red one contains dollars, 10 million dollars. Don't touch it. The blue contains pounds, 8 million pounds. Don't touch it. The white one contains Naira, 500s, 200s, 100s, 50s, 20s, 10s denominations. I arranged them in hierarchical order. 500 Nairas in first layer, 200 Nairas in second, 100 Nairas 3rd layer, 50 Nairas 4th layer, 20 Nairas 5th and 10 Nairas top floor. Take one 10 Naira. Go and use it to buy pure water, and don't forget to bring my change!"

2 face.

Yahoo mail or Hotmail?

One more thing, i think its ok if the guy gets around with ladies ( i mean no harm ), but if it gets to his ex. its better u tell him anything that bites you. If u see changes, then u know hes real, if not....then....??

  twisted perhaps. If you've reach marriage stage with a guy, i believe you must have know the person intimately enough to trust his words...if ure in doubt, u'd better recollect yourself and think it over....if everything is worth it...

youve gat a real guy then....lol.

wat track is stucked in your head, that you can never forget?