lol

This is hilarious... I am laughing my ass out. Plus, its creative too.

I have not the slightest idea.

.....

lol

no humour... just beef

mr bean... not mr sule

mmm...

lol yes

posted before yes

lol... funnie

dont get it... lol

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband

laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want,

and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect

any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on

the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go

hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies

whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any

comments?" His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me.

But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven

o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband

laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want,

and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect

any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on

the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go

hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies

whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any

comments?" His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me.

But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven

o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery

store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The

stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

A truck driver was driving along the freeway. A sign comes up

that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the

bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the

bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car

comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck

driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,

huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this

bridge and ran out of gas."

A couple were in their bedroom and the girl says to her

boyfriend, 'I wish I had bigger tits'. The boyfriend says

'well what I recommend is to get some toilet tissue and rub

it between your tits for 2 months'. 'How will that help to

make my tits bigger?' asks the girlfriend.
'Well it worked for your ass' says the boyfriend.

Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital. The

doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine sample, a

feces sample, and a blood sample." The old man says, "What?"

So the doctor says it again. Once again the old man says,

"what?" So the doctor yells it, "I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A

FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!" With that the old woman

turns to the old man and says, "He needs a pair of your

underwear!"

A guy is walking past a bus stop and says to a woman "Can I

smell your c*@t?" "phyuk off, no you can't smell my c*@t!" the

woman yells back at him, "Oh" he replies, looking slightly

confused, "it must be your feet then".

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his

wife so he went to a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and

so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way

home.

He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.

The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want

you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is

law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and

when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous

dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw

me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my

bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

"The funeral director," said his wife.