Some of us have been out of the social scene for so long that we forget how to act on a date. Then there are those who have never known the proper way to act in certain social situations. Perhaps the following advice will help.
MEN: Getting up your courage, you finally asked her out and to your surprise, she accepted. Everything seemed to go well, but each time you asked her out again, she was "busy".
Here are some examples of what to do, and what not to do on a date. If you are guilty of any of these on a first date, it is probably why she was always "busy" when you asked her out again.
Picking up your date: Try not to arrive early. She's trying to make herself beautiful for you and it will make her feel rushed. If you're going to be late, call her, even if you're only a few minutes late.
Being only five minutes late could make her think she's been stood up or that you're irresponsible and inconsiderate. The thoughts will grow with every passing minute and by the time you arrive, she won't be in the best of moods.
One of the worse things you can do is to drive up to her residence and blow the horn to let her know you're there. Always greet her at the door. If she comes out to greet you, don't stop and wait for her to get to you; meet her halfway.
Having a small token for her is always a good start. A single rose is nice or even a small #300 to #500 bouquet of flowers you can purchase at any grocery store and most convenience stores.
Don't "bathe" in cologne. People have allergies and you'll be together in the car for a while. Too much cologne can be suffocating. Always compliment her appearance, but don't over do it. A simple, "You look nice," will do.
It is not a good idea to try to hold her hand or put your arm around her when you pick her up for the first date. First dates are basically for getting to know each other. It's tacky to assume on a first date that she wants to hold your hand or have your arm around her. When you get to your destination, walk with her to the door, letting her enter first.
When you leave the restaurant, movies or wherever you take her, it may be appropriate to take her hand or put your arm around her, depending on how the date is going at that point.
Conversation:
Be yourself. Don't try so hard to be cool; it's a big turn-off. Don't talk shop. What you do for a living may be interesting to you but will probably bore your date to tears.
Never talk about past relationships. If it somehow comes into the conversation, don't put your past dates down. It's not mature and will make you look bad.
Try to start the conversation off by asking her about herself. Here are some good conversation starters:
How long have you worked at your job?
How long have you lived here?
Do you have family living in the area?
What do you like to do for fun?
Do you have any hobbies or special interests?
But don't barrage her with questions. One question should start a conversation. Allow her time to ask you a question. Don't answer her questions with your life story or bend her ear all the way to your destination about yourself. It makes you sound insecure, like you're trying to sell her on the idea that you're a great guy.
Manners and etiquette.
While women of today are independent, it is still a good idea to seat her at the table by pulling out the chair for her unless the waiter does it first.
Before ordering wine, ask her which she prefers. If she leaves the choice to you, and you're not sure, white wine may be a little dry for her taste and red may be too sweet so a nice rose wine would be a good choice.
Telling your date to order anything she wants is very tacky. It implies that you would ordinarily order the cheapest thing on the menu. Looking over the menu, volunteer what you are going to order before asking her what she is having.
Tip generously, but not overly so. A small tip makes you look cheap. If the tip is too generous, it makes you look frivolous.
Taking your date home:
Never ask your date if she had a good time. It makes you sound insecure. Most women will thank you for a nice evening.
It's always nice to mention how you enjoyed her company and it is a good time to ask if you can see her again. Her response will give you a clue as to how to handle the goodnight kiss.
Walk her back to her front door when the evening is over. Don't just let her out at her residence.
The goodnight kiss.
Asking her on the way back if she would like to see you again will determine what you should do when you walk her to her door. If she's reluctant to give you an answer, responding with "we'll see," or says she wants to see you again, but has to check her schedule, she could be simply brushing you off.
It may be best at that point to tell her again that you enjoyed her company, say goodnight with a smile and go back to your car.
If she readily accepts another invitation, you know the first date was successful. Take her hand at the door, say you enjoyed her company and kiss her goodnight.
WOMEN:
You have been hoping he'd ask you out and the day finally arrived. Everything seemed to go well, but he hasn't asked you again since.
Here are some examples of what to do, and what not to do on the first date. If you are guilty of any of these on a first date, it is probably why he never asked you out again.
When your date arrives:
It was once a popular belief that a woman should keep her date waiting so she could make her grand entrance. No one wants to be kept waiting, especially men. Be ready when he rings the doorbell.
If he brings you a token like a rose or a small bouquet of flowers, don't over react. It will make you look as if you've never received a gift from a man. A simple, "Oh how nice, thank you," will do.
Do not douse yourself with perfume. People have allergies and being in the small confines of an automobile for any length of time, it can be suffocating.
Always compliment his appearance, but only after he compliments yours. To do otherwise may look as though you are asking for a return compliment.
Conversation:
Be yourself. Don't try to be something you're not- it shows. Don't talk about problems you're having at work or with family/friends. It makes you sound like a complaining bellyacher
Never talk about past relationships. If it somehow comes into the conversation, do not put your past dates down. It's not mature and will make you look bad.
But don't barrage him with questions. One question should start a conversation. Allow him time to ask you a question. Don't answer his questions with your life story.
Manners and etiquette.
Never comment on the prices listed on the menu. If he couldn't afford to take you there, he most likely wouldn't have.
Don't prop your elbows on the table or lean against it. Sit up straight with hands in your lap, unless you're eating of course. Place the napkin in your lap, not on the table. If for some reason or another you have to say something with food in your mouth, cover it with the napkin.
Coming home from a date.
Always thank him for the evening. If you're getting close to home and he hasn't asked to see you again, he may be waiting until he takes you to your door. But it's okay to say you'd like to see him again at this point.
If he leaves you at your door with a halfhearted statement like, "maybe we can get together again sometime," then politely goes back to his car, he'll more than likely not ask you out again. If he kisses you goodnight, your first date with him was a success.
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