One woman i know has been married for 4 years, they been together for 5. Last week she came to my house telling me her husband wants to divorce. When i asked for his reasons, she said he found out something about her past, which she was very ashamed of and she never had the the liver to tell him about it. When she was 5 years old her father started segxwally abusing her, forced her to play with his private part till he was satisfied. She only told this to her mother and grandmother, and after all those years she has forgiven the father for his evil act. BUT the husband said he can no longer be part of this wicked and sick family, he wants a divorce! They have 1 child together. --> Pals, what is your thought/advice on this ?
--> Do u consider ur partners past before marrying him/her? What would u do in this situation ?
Posted: at 13-06-2012 07:48 PM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
jossy4reall at 13-06-2012 08:18 PM (12 years ago) (m)
it depends........but 4rm my own personal view dis kind of issue is not d type dat can result divorce.....not afta d marriage has produced 1 child already........., unless dia is sumtin else dat she didnt tell u.......My advise is tell ur friend 2 plead wit her husband and make him understand dat it was not her fault dat she engaged in d act.......also make her see reason why they shuld be 2geda........she can even get him through his best friend or any1 she knew dat he listens 2......at least she can do dat 4 d sake of her child and 2 save her marriage as well...............but if afta d plea.., the man insisted on divorce den she shuld allow let him go 2 hell if he wishes.........dat is not d end of d road 4 her.......it may even open a beta door 4 her.....I rest my case
Love or Hate me its ur Biz, I have more important things to think abt since u never gonna change me
Posted: at 13-06-2012 08:18 PM (12 years ago) | Hero
FlyMamacita at 13-06-2012 08:21 PM (12 years ago) (f)
Quote from: jossy4reall on 13-06-2012 08:18 PM
it depends........but 4rm my own personal view dis kind of issue is not d type dat can result divorce.....not afta d marriage has produced 1 child already........., unless dia is sumtin else dat she didnt tell u.......My advise is tell ur friend 2 plead wit her husband and make him understand dat it was not her fault dat she engaged in d act.......also make her see reason why they shuld be 2geda........she can even get him through his best friend or any1 she knew dat he listens 2......at least she can do dat 4 d sake of her child and 2 save her marriage as well...............but if afta d plea.., the man insisted on divorce den she shuld allow let him go 2 hell if he wishes.........dat is not d end of d road 4 her.......it may even open a beta door 4 her.....I rest my case
Agreed.
Posted: at 13-06-2012 08:21 PM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
sweetrae at 13-06-2012 08:25 PM (12 years ago) (f)
i think d guy has been lookin' for a way out of d relationship... d lady was a victim nd a child...if any thing her husband should feel compassion for her.. its sad he wants to leave her for something dat wasnt her fault...silly man!
Posted: at 13-06-2012 08:25 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
FlyMamacita at 13-06-2012 08:28 PM (12 years ago) (f)
Quote from: sweetrae on 13-06-2012 08:25 PM
i think d guy has been lookin' for a way out of d relationship... d lady was a victim nd a child...if any thing her husband should feel compassion for her.. its sad he wants to leave her for something dat wasnt her fault...silly man!
Som men are very heartless. I also thought there was more behind d story, but she said their marriage has bin so sweet ever since. Its like he just freaked out over dis stuff
Posted: at 13-06-2012 08:28 PM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
sweetrae at 13-06-2012 08:31 PM (12 years ago) (f)
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 13-06-2012 08:28 PM
Som men are very heartless. I also thought there was more behind d story, but she said their marriage has bin so sweet ever since. Its like he just freaked out over dis stuff
yes, some men can...dat y i have a zero tolerance for nonsense!...
well, i hope hes just over reactin' nd will come back to his senses...if not, d lady should just let him go...
Posted: at 13-06-2012 08:31 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Well, if this woman can keep that of secret from him then she has more secret to reveal. She should have told him about it during their courtship. I also think that the lady didn't tell u everything that resulted to her husband's reaction. But the man is being immature that is if this is the only secret that was revealed to him. However, on my own side, I must know about the past of my spouse to b b4 I get agree to marry him. I mean I am not some1 who like to judge people but I must knw about his past.
Posted: at 13-06-2012 09:36 PM (12 years ago) | Hero
sophiebaby at 14-06-2012 10:13 AM (12 years ago) (f)
We learn as children that "Honesty is the best policy" but is that always the case? Maybe this is true the majority of the time, but what about when it comes to your relationship with your significant other? I don't think anyone would want to start a new relationship with lies. Sometimes, honesty can do more harm than good. Not to mention, everyone is entitled to withhold one or two secrets from their partners, right?
The Husband to your friend has gone far way beyond what is suppose to be...cos There's no rule regarding how much you should divulge about your past encounters/segxwal encounters. Some couples decide to clear the air and divulge every little dirty detail. This can go one of two ways: either the couple will laugh it off or one (or both) partner(s) is left feeling very uncomfortable. It's not about keeping secrets from your partner; it's knowing whether or not it is something that is even worth telling your partner. Nobody is asking you to go into details about your high school crush; however, discussing your previous long-term relationships with your partner can have several benefits. Sometimes the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. ...If you honestly believe that something is irrelevant to your current relationship, keep it to yourself. After all, a little mystery can go a long way in relationships! THERE ARE MORE TO HIS WANTING A DIVORCE
Life is 2short to wake up in the morning with regrets. LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS*SOPHIEBABY* :*
Posted: at 14-06-2012 10:13 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
mizcollins1 at 14-06-2012 10:21 AM (12 years ago) (f)
Quote from: jossy4reall on 13-06-2012 08:18 PM
it depends........but 4rm my own personal view dis kind of issue is not d type dat can result divorce.....not afta d marriage has produced 1 child already........., unless dia is sumtin else dat she didnt tell u.......My advise is tell ur friend 2 plead wit her husband and make him understand dat it was not her fault dat she engaged in d act.......also make her see reason why they shuld be 2geda........she can even get him through his best friend or any1 she knew dat he listens 2......at least she can do dat 4 d sake of her child and 2 save her marriage as well...............but if afta d plea.., the man insisted on divorce den she shuld allow let him go 2 hell if he wishes.........dat is not d end of d road 4 her.......it may even open a beta door 4 her.....I rest my case
WISELY SAID MY PRINCE CHARMING!!
Posted: at 14-06-2012 10:21 AM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
FlyMamacita at 14-06-2012 10:23 AM (12 years ago) (f)
Quote from: sophiebaby on 14-06-2012 10:13 AM
We learn as children that "Honesty is the best policy" but is that always the case? Maybe this is true the majority of the time, but what about when it comes to your relationship with your significant other? I don't think anyone would want to start a new relationship with lies. Sometimes, honesty can do more harm than good. Not to mention, everyone is entitled to withhold one or two secrets from their partners, right?
The Husband to your friend has gone far way beyond what is suppose to be...cos There's no rule regarding how much you should divulge about your past encounters/segxwal encounters. Some couples decide to clear the air and divulge every little dirty detail. This can go one of two ways: either the couple will laugh it off or one (or both) partner(s) is left feeling very uncomfortable. It's not about keeping secrets from your partner; it's knowing whether or not it is something that is even worth telling your partner. Nobody is asking you to go into details about your high school crush; however, discussing your previous long-term relationships with your partner can have several benefits. Sometimes the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. ...If you honestly believe that something is irrelevant to your current relationship, keep it to yourself. After all, a little mystery can go a long way in relationships! THERE ARE MORE TO HIS WANTING A DIVORCE
Nice one babe
Posted: at 14-06-2012 10:23 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
mizcollins1 at 14-06-2012 10:29 AM (12 years ago) (f)
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON...EITHER THE MAN IS FEED UP WITH THE MARRIAGE OR HE NEVER REALLY LOVED THE WIFE AFTER ALL...THIS IS A LAME EXCUESS FOR A DIVORCE!!!....THIS IS WHY I ALWAYS SAY IT'S BEST TO BE HONEST IN ALL REALATIONSHIP..IT'S BETTER TO TELL YOUR OTHER HALF CERTAIN THINGS IN YOUR PAST SOON AS THE RELATIONSHIP IS GETTING SEROIUSE SO AS TO PREVENT SORRY EXCUESS OF MEN SUCH AS THIS FELLOW RIGHT HERE USING IT AGAINST US IN THE FUTURE!!
Posted: at 14-06-2012 10:29 AM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
FlyMamacita at 14-06-2012 10:30 AM (12 years ago) (f)
Quote from: Beauti4 on 13-06-2012 09:36 PM
Well, if this woman can keep that of secret from him then she has more secret to reveal. She should have told him about it during their courtship. I also think that the lady didn't tell u everything that resulted to her husband's reaction. But the man is being immature that is if this is the only secret that was revealed to him. However, on my own side, I must know about the past of my spouse to b b4 I get agree to marry him. I mean I am not some1 who like to judge people but I must knw about his past.
She just felt so ashamed of the whole thing,, she cudn tell her husband.
Posted: at 14-06-2012 10:30 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
FlyMamacita at 14-06-2012 10:34 AM (12 years ago) (f)
Quote from: mizcollins1 on 14-06-2012 10:29 AM
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON...EITHER THE MAN IS FEED UP WITH THE MARRIAGE OR HE NEVER REALLY LOVED THE WIFE AFTER ALL...THIS IS A LAME EXCUESS FOR A DIVORCE!!!....THIS IS WHY I ALWAYS SAY IT'S BEST TO BE HONEST IN ALL REALATIONSHIP..IT'S BETTER TO TELL YOUR OTHER HALF CERTAIN THINGS IN YOUR PAST SOON AS THE RELATIONSHIP IS GETTING SEROIUSE SO AS TO PREVENT SORRY EXCUESS OF MEN SUCH AS THIS FELLOW RIGHT HERE USING IT AGAINST US IN THE FUTURE!!
Honesty is very important but this is not lying to me, she couldn't tell her husband out of
shame, which i can understand. She never told anybody except her mom nd granny.
Posted: at 14-06-2012 10:34 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
i think d guy has been lookin' for a way out of d relationship... d lady was a victim nd a child...if any thing her husband should feel compassion for her.. its sad he wants to leave her for something dat wasnt her fault...silly man!
exactly
my name is kebella ........yu already no that ...heheh...if yu wanna smell what kebella is cooking........bring it up!!
Posted: at 14-06-2012 10:41 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
........yu already no that 
...heheh...if yu wanna smell what kebella is cooking........bring it up!!
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