Computer Diagnosis

One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.[/b][/b][/color]

Posted: at 17-03-2009 02:48 PM (15 years ago) | Upcoming

old, nice1

Posted: at 17-03-2009 03:36 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

size1/2  wetin dey do your brain....'cos i be newbie come mean say make you talk say my joke old?e b lyk say dat cap you wear dey zap you "grey matter"....................sori i know say you no sabi english,biology sef you no do....by grey matter i mean brain..............Go yab anoda person........boooo.which kain bleaching cream you dey use?I wan change colour 4ma grandma's she goat...

Posted: at 17-03-2009 11:15 PM (15 years ago) | Upcoming

D newbies wey dey ds forum now na militants o,c as dem dey tak enta peeps anyhow

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Posted: at 18-03-2009 05:10 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

Ehen na,i 4 kidnap u na,
bt na waste of resource cs them no go pay,na dash them go jst dash u giv us.

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Posted: at 18-03-2009 12:12 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

I don talk am na say u no get value 4 our hand but we fit use u do cleaner or jungle help sha but na at ur own risk

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Posted: at 18-03-2009 12:26 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

So na jungle u dey now,i talk am,e b lyk say u dey ka ka,some funi smell dey comot 4 my speaker. . . .Abeg pple ohh,dem dey nid cleaner 4 jungle?The ecosystem takes kia of itself,abi u skip geography and biology. . . Or even d whole skol? @Gwhy

Posted: at 18-03-2009 12:37 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie

2 of una mak una jst wait 4 where una dey we go soon show com show u pepper@ fiditi n tripod stand

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Posted: at 18-03-2009 12:45 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

Y u dey kolabo me wit stripod?abi na north dem post u 4 service?cos e b lyk all d wata 4 ur brain don miss.How u go dey equate me wit stripod?Me and u go met for junction,oya cari your shit yansh come,no forget clip ur napkin wella. . .@Gwhy

Posted: at 18-03-2009 12:53 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie

This is an old joke...

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Posted: at 18-03-2009 01:04 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac