An Open Letter To Nigerian Men (Page 2)

Date: 28-09-2012 11:09 am (11 years ago) | Author: uduak Sophia Monday
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- sophiebaby at 28-09-2012 04:28 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Senegal on 28-09-2012 03:46 PM

Sophie e be like say you too like Men

na women i for like?  Grin

Posted: at 28-09-2012 04:28 PM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- cocoeni at 28-09-2012 05:23 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
gud topic.....u try sha
Posted: at 28-09-2012 05:23 PM (11 years ago) | Hero
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- deprovost at 28-09-2012 06:44 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
U dont know what u are writing i guess
Posted: at 28-09-2012 06:44 PM (11 years ago) | Newbie
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- Biafranwar at 28-09-2012 07:06 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
The desperation in girls are the reason why men take advantage of them. NO MAN BE MUGU OOO
Posted: at 28-09-2012 07:06 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- donklass at 28-09-2012 09:29 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
 this lady solphie you are damm rought at all level
i find it difficult to place you, but one thing i can say
of you is that you are very open to life, yours  is that
every fact needs to be placed at a common table
for the development of the society, you should be
sweet talking to,i admirer your likes.
Posted: at 28-09-2012 09:29 PM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
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- lokya at 28-09-2012 10:32 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
Really nice
Posted: at 28-09-2012 10:32 PM (11 years ago) | Newbie
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- hakeemv12 at 28-09-2012 11:07 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
I don't know what else to say you said it all, but lets face the reality my sisters, it's not that we don't love or care for you,the economic condition is very hard in Nigeria. To maintain a relationship in our country is too dear. Don't blame us that we're not polished or we don't even know how to satisfy your segxwality, can't you see the way the country is!? But still that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.

We know you deserves the best,  but Nigeria has a country doesn't permit us to loving you the way love is meant to be, and that doesn't mean you can shit on us! We are all you got! Assuming you know the brainstorming we guys go through at times  in trying to satisfy your soul, you'll knoW it ain't easy!Nigeria is too dry for real love. Apart from sex, hotels and clubbing, what are the activities surrounding us! Poverty everywhere, so how are you expecting us to be civil?

Lately,I realized the use of derogatory words against our sisters lately, but that doesn't mean we don't care, it's the paranoid ones among us that keeps raising their voices based on the fact that they are fraustrated. At times we can be paranoid based on the fact that you give us less attention...So my sisters, don't be mad with us, everything will be alright soon. You are the only option we've got! I got mad luv for all my 9ja sisters...Love you'll! Muah! Kiss
Posted: at 28-09-2012 11:07 PM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
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- ukanwnne at 28-09-2012 11:44 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
P Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue
Posted: at 28-09-2012 11:44 PM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
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- neloceleb at 29-09-2012 01:19 AM (11 years ago)
(f)
Nyc one
Posted: at 29-09-2012 01:19 AM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
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- candela at 29-09-2012 04:51 AM (11 years ago)
(m)
My sista life no easy dats y
Posted: at 29-09-2012 04:51 AM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
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- jamesbondchick at 29-09-2012 07:00 AM (11 years ago)
(f)
*yawn*

Posted: at 29-09-2012 07:00 AM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- teedreams at 29-09-2012 12:38 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
you sound like a lesbian to me no hard feelings Grin
Posted: at 29-09-2012 12:38 PM (11 years ago) | Newbie
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- draG9 at 29-09-2012 07:24 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
Sophie we hear u

Posted: at 29-09-2012 07:24 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- draG9 at 29-09-2012 07:28 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: teedreams on 29-09-2012 12:38 PM
you sound like a lesbian to me no hard feelings Grin

Sophie doesn't hate men...she's just asking "some" men to wake up...no hard feelings

Posted: at 29-09-2012 07:28 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- katung44 at 30-09-2012 03:08 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: sophiebaby on 28-09-2012 11:09 AM
Thinking about all my post referring to Nigerian  women made me decide to write a one to men about your responsibilities to us.

Now, there is a common mindset among y’all (men of course). You believe that being male is the only qualification you need, so even if you are; an insensitive bore, less educated, earn less, less experienced, inactive in your religious life, you still believe you are a great catch. I am not shallow enough to think that these are the only things that define a person; they are simply a few common and salient definers. It’s baffling that you think you deserve the great women you’re with. A friend of mine once said “I wish Nigerian boys will take a look at themselves, they will realize that they are just not all that and calm down” (Paraphrased). I laughed so much but there is some truth in it. It’s amazing how lazy many of you men are. You pass on the responsibility of making the relationship work to the woman.



Emotionally: I cannot count how many times I’ve been told by older Nigerian women that men never mature and I should stop waiting for that. Nigerian men are so protected and coddled by their mothers and society. Your emotional needs are always catered to that you completely forget about ours. You quickly point out the ways you are emasculated, do you think of the ways you mock the femininity of the woman you are with. You understand your emotional requirements but are quick to laugh with derision when women express their desires.

Financially: Do you just talk about being the man of the house or do you put your money where your mouth is? Yes, it’s 2012 and most women work, however, if you want to claim boss man then you need to pay the bills. Or better yet, do you have a modern relationship with regards to financial responsibly, yet expect a traditional approach to decision making? Do you consciously or unconsciously expect a woman to share certain responsibilities but you don’t want to change diapers. Don’t shake your head at me, a number of men still feel this way and would act on it if the women in their lives allow it



Protectiveness: It’s so common for women to think they have to protect you from encroaching women. I won’t even attempt to address that mindset, anyone who has been cheated on knows it’s not you or what you do or don’t do. A real man will walk away from a relationship that can’t be fixed; not cheat. As a man are you protecting your wife (or girlfriend) from her in-laws, your mother, other women, people, positions and emotions that might hurt her? Do you think she must deal with everything you and your family dish out? Or do you realize that she is worthy of your support in life.

Are you protecting her from yourself? As women we are raised to know men don’t like nagging, don’t hit your man, don’t swear at him and so on. Women break these rules, but most people are aware of. Do men realize that women have a right to be protected from your churlish moods, anger and cutting words?

segxwally: Many of you are so segxwally selfish. It’s all about you, you, and you. You never take the time to learn what pleases the woman you are with. Unfortunately, too many women let you get away with it. You move from woman to woman using the same tired moves that made the last woman fake orgasms. Or better still you come up with a list of one sided rules, like, no oral sex from you, but you want it from her. Seriously, wake up and smell the coffee.

Spiritually: You quote the Bible, Koran or any other religious book when it suits you. Are you living by the principles, are you ensuring that you fulfill your God given role in her life before demanding for hers? Are you fulfilling your part of the charge you were given by those books? Are you cherishing, honoring her with your body, sharing your worldly goods or just expecting her to be an obedient wife. And even if you haven’t taken the vows of marriage, these vows are still a clear example of how we should conduct relationships.

Final note to you men: I know many of you suffer from a false sense of entitlement and discontentment. And yes you are right; they will always be someone prettier, sexier, smarter, sweeter, funnier, more adventurous and more religious, than your current girlfriend or maybe even wife. There is always the chance that there is someone out there who you’ll connect better with. True, your mother is a paragon of everything a Psalm 31 woman should be, yet I can assure you she wasn’t that when your father married her. Newsflash: You are not who we envision when we dream about our ideal man, but, we are willing and happy to work with you but you’ve got to give us something.

To the women: These are just a few examples, this is certainly not an exhaustive list. Ultimately, a man who has a good woman AND recognizes her worth will do these things and more. But ladies, desperation is never cute. If you have a man who doesn’t call or text, make time for you and ultimately make you a priority …he isn’t worth fighting for.

In summation, men, get off your high horse and do some work to get and keep a woman.

Adios !!!  Kiss Kiss Kiss
Another Disillusioned Female blowing the Self-righteous Trumpet. First of all, I would like to say here that I smell all this is coming off the back of a heartbreak by another man. Men may not be all that but do not act like women are either. A very common mistake women make is failing to define without ambiguity what your 'needs' are. A Man is dating you, and you are asking for a phone that you clearly know he cannot afford just because you want to be able to compete with your richer peers which you did not really need. Even before the dating starts, you start a needless quest of 'shakara' which you claim is intended to enhance your 'beauty' in his eyes involving buying outrageously expensive gifts without any indication of your feelings for him or appreciation for what he is doing for you. Let's get to the basics here. Like I said earlier, women fail to define the borders of a relationship with a man. They (women) enter the relationship with a lot of misconceptions like he should fund my education before he gets my love, He must build a shop for me or rent a house for me and my family, he must give me his FB and yahoo passwords, he should introduce me to his parents after I have been to his house twice etc. Women should largely accept half the responsibility for the heartbreaks they suffer is the 'Bad boy' addiction they have which they justify with the excuse that bad boys know how to treat a woman. A man may call a woman 5 times a day to inquire after her welfare but, she only calls him back when her BB subscription is expired or she needs to go and eat at an expensive restaurant. Men may not be able to afford all the responsibilities you listed above but do not encourage them to lie to you with your lifestyle (The 'Hit it big quick' Lifestyle). Men may be liars because they want to get women to have sex with them, but women need to be realistic and know that all their notions of having a rich, faithful Husband is basically chasing the wind. Ask a woman to endure with a hard working man who is struggling and she will tell you 'For what?'. She ends up either as the youngest wife of a Polygamist or the endless girlfriend of a rich playboy who just uses her for sex and has no intention of marrying her. There are honest responsible men in Nigeria. You mostly are attracted to the dishonest ones who deceive you using your materialistic weak points  and you decide to use them to stereotype the innocent remnant Male population. If you do not want a man to lie to you, do not out of greedy desperation, force a false promise you know he will not keep and blame him when it happens.   He will tell you want you want to hear to get you off his case or get what you are using to hold him to ransom because he knows the truth will not help him. Speaking of lies, I thought women claim a man who has never lied to woman, does not love her. Hence, women are responsible for the lies men tell.  Get attracted to a genuine good guy for a change and do not manipulate him because you are a woman and feel you are supposed to 'run things'!
Posted: at 30-09-2012 03:08 PM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
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- truenaija2 at 1-10-2012 07:58 AM (11 years ago)
(f)
If you have a man who doesn’t call or text, make time for you and ultimately make you a priority …he isn’t worth fighting for., me likey Wink this part make sense, sorry please sophie this is men in general not nigerian men, it is a certain group of men that act like dis, white black or green, they have this attributes, ofcourse it will only prevail if the woman in thier lifes allows it, but me no get time for trash ,lol
Posted: at 1-10-2012 07:58 AM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- sophiebaby at 2-10-2012 09:53 AM (11 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: cocoeni on 28-09-2012 05:23 PM
gud topic.....u try sha

 Grin Cool Shocked

Posted: at 2-10-2012 09:53 AM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- sophiebaby at 2-10-2012 09:54 AM (11 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: truenaija2 on  1-10-2012 07:58 AM
If you have a man who doesn’t call or text, make time for you and ultimately make you a priority …he isn’t worth fighting for., me likey Wink this part make sense, sorry please sophie this is men in general not nigerian men, it is a certain group of men that act like dis, white black or green, they have this attributes, ofcourse it will only prevail if the woman in thier lifes allows it, but me no get time for trash ,lol

 Grin Grin Grin i no sey u go like that part.. but wait o.. green men dey?  Shocked Grin Grin Grin

Posted: at 2-10-2012 09:54 AM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- Ifemylove at 8-04-2013 10:19 AM (10 years ago)
(f)
 Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
Posted: at 8-04-2013 10:19 AM (10 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- sophiebaby at 9-04-2013 09:21 AM (10 years ago)
(f)
 Huh? Huh? Huh?

Posted: at 9-04-2013 09:21 AM (10 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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