I got a typical call very recently, here's the gist:
Mr. 419: Hello, how are you?
OMATSEYE: Fine. Please, who am I speaking with?
Mr. 419: Haba, don't you remember me? Who do you know in UK that could be calling?
(Sensing a scam, I threw in a trap…)
OMATSEYE: Johnson! Is that you? (I don't know any Johnson in UK.)
(Thinking it's a break, he swallows the bait)
Mr. 419 : Of course, this is Johnson! How come you didn't recognise my voice initially?
(Certain it's scam, I decided to punish him verbally and financially. I had the time that morning so I was going to assist him waste his call credit.)
OMATSEYE: Jooooooohnson! Kai! Omo buruku gbaa ni o! (You are a specially bad boy) Your father died, you didn't so much as show up or send a note. Omo a se iru e fun e! (Your children will repay you with such). Didn't you hear about his demise? He was so bitter and full of original curses curses for you.
Mr. 419: (Obviously subdued) I didn't hear. I would have come.
OMATSEYE: Too bad. You heard you mama is leprous too? You didn't hear about that, abi?
Mr. 419: (Now uncomfortable) No, I didn’t hear.
OMATSEYE: (Enjoying myself thoroughly). Too bad. Is your wife that foolish too? Not even a word from her after you folks married without our blessings? If the husband is not wise, is the wife lame-witted too?
Mr. 419: She's fine. I'm certain she'll get across to you. There's an issue…
(Breaking in before he begins his story)
OMATSEYE: Johnson, O se mi o: you offended me. I sent you money to buy me a car and you just disappeared. When am I having my money back? You want me to curse you too like your father did? I don't have his kind of patience I'm sure you know. I won't wait that long before I give you what you deserve.
Mr. 419: (Grunted). This issue is important...
OMATSEYE: Shut up!!! When are you sending money home? Haba! We sent you to school, clothed you and sent you abroad... Are you now a 419? Stealing from me your friend too. Your father was right to curse you... And you can't escape it if you continue like this. It's not a curse.
Mr. 419: I'll repay you.
After about 50 minutes of moves and countermoves…I owned up.
OMATSEYE: See Mr. 419, I don't know any Johnson in UK. I just needed to teach you a lesson. Go get a proper job.
Mr. 419: Were! Oloriburuku! Lo ti n sepe fun mi lat'aaro! (Madman, and you've been cursing me since morning!)
Disconnected.
Posted: at 23-04-2009 11:22 AM (16 years ago) | Gistmaniac
BUT OMAT GO SABI LIE OOOO I JUST THEY THINK AM SINCE..NI....HHHAA THEM TALK FOR ABT 50MIN..NA THE THING WAY U TALK BE THAT ABI...O....M....A....T....SMALL SMALL NOW NO CARRY ME PAST MY BUS-STOP OOOOOO;D:p
Posted: at 24-04-2009 02:45 AM (16 years ago) | Gistmaniac
......WHY U THEY CALL AM 410 NOW
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