Do I leave Him

Date: 28-05-2009 12:14 pm (14 years ago) | Author: Sleek
- at 28-05-2009 12:14 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Please I need advice on this. A friend of my told me  her tale which I will try as much as I can to relate back to you exactly as she said; hear her:

I have know this guy for almost a decade now and there is absolutely no doubt that he loves me, infact am sure he will do any thing for me but the problem is he is not exaclty the kind of guy I want to spend the rest of my life with reason being that he is not financially stable (now don't Judge me , every one wants some kind of assurance in life) and to top it all he is not a graduate.

We met while I was still in secondary school, became friends and then over the years a relationship developed. After my secondary school we lost contact and met again while I was preparing for my NYSC. I felt some kind of strong bond towards him and we continued seeing each other on several occasion he has asked me to marry him which I tried to explian to him that I love him as a FRIEND an cann't go beyond that. the last time I told him I was calling the relationship off, the pain I saw in his eyes and seeing a man go through such and even to the point there were tears in his eyes, I felt so weak and couldn't do it.
I had on several occassions encourage him to have other relationship he just won't and says until he sees me finally get married. I feel so guilty that each time am with him I just want to accept his proposal knowing that for more than 4 years his family has been threatening to force a wife on him if he refuses to get married by the end of this year and I no he hopes I did say yes that is why he is still waiting. Am just to afriad of what he might do to himself if I should meet sum1 and leave him. Cause in all the relationship I have been through NO ONE has shown me so much love and attention (not materially of course but the sincere concern for my welfare which is what I cherish so much in him)

Posted: at 28-05-2009 12:14 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie
- welli at 28-05-2009 12:50 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
I'll explain this from a realistic view...In as much as other readers consider it brutal.
I perfectly understand when You said ''he is not exaclty the kind of guy I want to spend the rest of my life with reason being that he is not financially stable''

Now, how old are You? When do You intend to settle down...soon? What's his view about finance...is he nonchalant abt it or he's struggling to make ends meet? These and more questions You would need to answer first before You make any step.
You wouldn't wanna go into marriage in abject poverty....Trust me!!
If he's making attempt and age is still on Your side and You can spare him a few time to make up....Then,I'd say wait for him!! If not.......You know what is right for You. Smiley

Posted: at 28-05-2009 12:50 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- shanique at 28-05-2009 01:04 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
wow!! brb gotta pup

Posted: at 28-05-2009 01:04 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- vivian07 at 28-05-2009 01:08 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
@ poster, ur friend already made her point clear, the guy is poor.....even though she thinks she loves him,  i  think the best thing for her is to call the whole thing off instead of  torturing the guy.......a man dies once and thats it.....she should call it off so that he will start his life with some 1 who can stay with him........and she should also not forget that "no condition is permanent " no 1 has ever loved her, yet she wants to leave the 1 true person who ever loved her..........
Posted: at 28-05-2009 01:08 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Akpan01 at 28-05-2009 01:15 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
HMM MY DEAR...ONLY CAUSE OF MONEY WHY U SPOIL YA LIFE???MONEY IS NOTHING WE MAKE IT NOT MONEY MAKES US....IF BOTH OF U PUT HEAD TOGETHER BETTER THING CAN COME OUT...LOVE IS NOT TRUE MONEY ISSUES...IF U LOVE HIM BE WITH HIM CAUSE HOW I SEE HE LOVES U...DONT LOSE HIM ONLY CAUSE OF MONEY BY TIME BETTER THING CAN HAPPEN IF BOTH OF U WILL BE 1....WHAT U HAVE TO DO IS TO JOIN HAND WITH HIM AND PLAN A BETTER LIFE

Posted: at 28-05-2009 01:15 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- cyndi3 at 28-05-2009 03:02 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
welli,vivian and akpan ve said it all, so its left for u to decide, choose wisely!Gud luck!
Posted: at 28-05-2009 03:02 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Toks-E at 28-05-2009 03:42 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
women joint


i don comot oo

Posted: at 28-05-2009 03:42 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- onchedu at 28-05-2009 04:11 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: cyndi3 on 28-05-2009 03:02 PM
welli,vivian and akpan ve said it all, so its left for u to decide, choose wisely!Gud luck!

I concur
Posted: at 28-05-2009 04:11 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- blackberryPearl at 28-05-2009 04:27 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
uhmmmmmmmmmm
Posted: at 28-05-2009 04:27 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- blackberryPearl at 28-05-2009 04:28 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: bigbaby on 28-05-2009 04:27 PM
omg gyal u dey here were u been hiding
girl, i had so much crap going on
Posted: at 28-05-2009 04:28 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- fjoeaug at 28-05-2009 05:49 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
HMMMMM THIS IS TOUGH BUT IF THE GUY CAN BE HARD WORKING AND U THINK THERE IS BETTER HOPE IN D FUTURE, GURL GO WITH HIM. COS SOMETIMES,MONEY IS NOT REALLY EVERYTHING BUT U NEED IT. L O V E? I LIKE DAT MORE. Cool Cool
BUT IF HE IS IN THE LAZY MEN CATEGORY,THEN NNE,RUN FOR UR LIFE OOOOOOOOO COS NO GOOD FUTURE WITH SUCH PEOPLE.
BE WISE IN UR CHOICE,GOOD LUCK! Grin Grin Grin
Posted: at 28-05-2009 05:49 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- diplomatik at 29-05-2009 12:06 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
I CAN'T TALK THIS NIGHT....LISTEN TO VIV AND WELLI.. Cheesy Cool

Posted: at 29-05-2009 12:06 AM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- ceejay58 at 29-05-2009 11:42 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
@ poster....... Allah, ur friend don miss road
Posted: at 29-05-2009 11:42 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- HOPEA23 at 29-05-2009 11:47 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
okie

Posted: at 29-05-2009 11:47 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- Kennee at 30-05-2009 12:01 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: sleekperson on 28-05-2009 12:14 PM
Please I need advice on this. A friend of my told me  her tale which I will try as much as I can to relate back to you exactly as she said; hear her:

I have know this guy for almost a decade now and there is absolutely no doubt that he loves me, infact am sure he will do any thing for me but the problem is he is not exaclty the kind of guy I want to spend the rest of my life with reason being that he is not financially stable (now don't Judge me , every one wants some kind of assurance in life) and to top it all he is not a graduate.

We met while I was still in secondary school, became friends and then over the years a relationship developed. After my secondary school we lost contact and met again while I was preparing for my NYSC. I felt some kind of strong bond towards him and we continued seeing each other on several occasion he has asked me to marry him which I tried to explian to him that I love him as a FRIEND an cann't go beyond that. the last time I told him I was calling the relationship off, the pain I saw in his eyes and seeing a man go through such and even to the point there were tears in his eyes, I felt so weak and couldn't do it.
I had on several occassions encourage him to have other relationship he just won't and says until he sees me finally get married. I feel so guilty that each time am with him I just want to accept his proposal knowing that for more than 4 years his family has been threatening to force a wife on him if he refuses to get married by the end of this year and I no he hopes I did say yes that is why he is still waiting. Am just to afriad of what he might do to himself if I should meet sum1 and leave him. Cause in all the relationship I have been through NO ONE has shown me so much love and attention (not materially of course but the sincere concern for my welfare which is what I cherish so much in him)

Just one Question: What do yu really need in yur Life, Love or Money?

Posted: at 30-05-2009 12:01 AM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- mazi at 30-05-2009 06:46 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
if ur friend like let her marry....
if she doesnt want....dat too na her wahala...

she is looking for packaged food abi....poor man cant marry again for love...nonsense!
Posted: at 30-05-2009 06:46 AM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply