Does a man need to rob a bank or be super-duper rich to marry an Igbo girl?’
Adewale cuts in mockingly with his strong ‘britico’ accent. ‘Is it my fault that I am an Igbo girl….eh…Adewale? Why must our own wedding be an issue?’ she snaps back in an angry tone. ‘Enough, both of you’,
I quickly chipped in to douse the all too frequent war of words that was about to erupt between the two love birds over the customary Igbo traditional marriage ceremony – popularly referred to as ‘Igba Nkwu Nwanyi’.
It means “The Wine Carrying of a Woman” and for many decades has been generally accepted as the Igbo word for traditional marriage.
So what really does an Igbo traditional marriage entail?
Introduction – Ikwu Aka (Knocking)
Marriage in Igbo-land is not just an affair between the future husband and wife but also involves the parents, the extended family and villages. When you’re planning for the introductory part of your proposed union, you must bear in mind that there are two stages in this process.
Depending on the Igbo community involved, the intending groom will be required to make two visits to the bride to be’s family.
First, the intending groom, accompanied by his father or any elder relative or close family friend will visit the father of the bride to be formerly introduced and state their intention.
They will then agree on a latter time to meet with other members of the bride to be’s family.
No gift is required for this initial visit. For the return visit, the intending groom’s family (not limited to the parents) will meet with the bride to be’s family and restate their intention.
At this stage, it is expected that the bride to be’s family will have had ample time to investigate the groom to be’s family and must have reached a conclusion on the proposal.
The pre-requisites for this visit may vary from village to village, but, basically some of the key items offered as gift to the host family include Kolanuts,
Wines (alcoholic/non-alcoholic) and wrappers (Nigerian/Holland prints). Money (cash gift) is usually not offered at this point in order not to be misrepresented.
Traditional Marriage – Igba Nwku (Engagement) At this stage, a date has been agreed for the ‘Igba Nkwu’ to hold at the paternal home of the bride to be.
The intending groom would have been handed a list of items to present at the engagement.
The list usually is communicated after the introduction and is an obligatory part of completing the Igba Nkwu, which could either be a close family event or a big event including the whole “village”.
The items on the lists are usually symbolic and cover different sections of the ceremony.
Typical Igbo Traditional List for the Groom
SECTION A : UMUADA (ALL KINDRED DAUGHTERS) Wrappers and Blouses– (George/Hollandis/Nigerian Wax)
Jewelry – (Gold plated earings, necklaces)
Head ties and Shoes (Different types and colours)
Hand bags and wrist watches (Different types and colours)
Toiletries (Body creams, bathing soaps, washing detergents, etc.)
Beverages and food items Cash gift (lump sum) –Ogwe ego Drinks (Malt & Minerals)
SECTION B: NMANYA UKWU (BIG WINE) – KINSMEN (UMUNNA) The items in this category will be shared amongst the heads of the extended family of the bride to be.
Bottles of Seaman’s Schnapps (millennium brand) Kolanuts Gallons of Palmwine Cartons of Beer, Malt and Mineral drinks
Heads of Tobacco with potash Rolls of cigarettes , 1 goat, Cash gift (Lump sum) – Ego Umu’Nna OTHER CASH GIFTS THAT MAY BE DEMANDED DURING THE COURSE OF THE CEREMONY
“Ego nfotu ite” (cash to bring down symbolic cooking pot) – ₦ 1,000
“Ncha kishi udu” (Toasting of wine) – ₦ 1,000
“Ego Ogo cherem” (money for the inlaws) – ₦ 50,000
“Ego maternity” (money for future maternity) – ₦ 1,000
“Ego Onye Eze” (money for village chief) – ₦ 1,500
“Ogwe Ego” (lump sum) – ₦ 5,000
SECTION C: N’MEPE UZO (OPENING OF GATE) – GENERAL
30 tubers of Yam
2 bags of Rice
2 bags of Salt
2 cartons of Star Beer
2 cartons of Guinness Stout
2 cartons of Maltina
6 crates of Minerals
3 bottles of Seaman’s Schnapps (millennium brand)
30 bulbs of onions
1 gallon of red Palm oil (10 -25 litres)
1 gallon of Groundnut oil (25 litres)
A basin of Okporoko (Stockfish)
2 pieces of Goat leg (Ukwu Anu ewu)
25 loaves of Bread
1 carton of Tin Tomatoes
1 carton of Tin Milk
1 carton of Tablet soap
20 Pieces of Morning Rose powder
1 gallon of Kerosene
20 heads of Tobacco
10 packets of cigarettes
5 pieces of George/Hollandis/Nigerian Wax
3 pieces of Umbrella
1 Big Box (Apati)
2 Big Basins
2 pieces of Igbo Blouse
2 pieces of Headties Gold necklaces and Wrist watches (minimum of 2 pieces)
1 piece of Lantern/Lamp
“Ikpo Onu Aku Nwayi” (Bride price) – Negotiable Usually the UMUADA and UMUNNA’s are quite a number in each clan and a minimum of three pieces/cartons per item above will be demanded before the bride to be is let out of her father’s house on the engagement day.
More often than not, their demands are non-negotiable but can be influenced by the bride to be’s family.
The items required in the general section vary from village to village and can be negotiated with bride to be’s family.
In recent times, the intending bride’s father waives most of the requirements that ordinarily would be meant for him and his immediate family and request the intending groom to provide only the other items required in the first two sections.
Dress and Grooming At traditional marriage wedding ceremonies,
Continue reading click here >> http://www.gistmelove.com/2013/09/igbo-traditional-marriage-is-it-only.html
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