I am 28yrs old and a career lady, M.SC holder and currently doing PH.d. I got married 2yrs ago to a young man who is 2yrs older than me, we are from same state but he is based outside the shores of Nigeria. We never dated as it was a match make marriage.... He is all i wished for in a man handsome and young....he came back for the wedding 2 years ago which held in December we did both white and traditional marriage same day and we both came back to Lagos just some days after the wedding as i am based in Lagos. Two weeks after the wedding he traveled back to his base we had an agreement that since I was working and doing my masters then (part time) and could not join him that I will be coming during my leave and he will be visiting as well….. Immediately he got to his base he changed he started nagging about every little thing, especially when I missed his call because of meeting or because I forgot my phone in the car or was in the bathroom he will call me all sorts of names ranging from ‘prostitute to h** and all worth not, this is a man that came to Nigeria and used my line for 2 weeks, he picked all my calls and was always at home whenever I go to work and no man has ever called or visited my house he also has my facebook password and there was never a time a strange call or message came in. This continued till one faithful Sunday that I was sick, I was so weak cos I could not sleep throughout the night so I managed to get to the living room where I was watching TV programs, I forgot my phone in the room and after several hours when NEPA took the light I decided to go to the room only to see several missed calls from him, I quickly called him back and that was the beginning of our problems, he insulted me, my family and everything that I stand for, accused me of being with a man, I burst into tears and he dropped the phone on me. I reported the issue to my family and when my parents called he refused to pick their calls, and ever since he left for his base after the wedding he has never called my parents. This continued till mid June 2013, I called him one morning and was asking him when he is coming to Nigeria he said that his business just started flourishing and that he couldn't leave it, I applied for visa to visit him and my passport was delayed at the embassy for almost 2 months, and I was scheduled to travel to US for official training so I had to recall my passport from the embassy to proceed on the training since the flight, hotel and training had been paid for. My husband got mad and started calling me out that I traveled with a man, I snapped pictures of the training and everything but he never believed, same thing happened when I traveled to London. He stopped picking my calls for almost 4 months, so I sent him a message that I wanted a divorce last month, but he said nothing about it and never called. On Saturday August 23rd I opened his facebook only to see that he has removed all our wedding pictures from his page and that he is engaged to his ex girl friend who is a native of his base….as we speak the girl is 5 months pregnant and they are planning to get married in 2 months time…. i am shattered and heartbroken. I have been calling him begging him not to marry the girl, I told him that the girl should just give birth to the child ,that he should not marry her and but he refused. I am planning on resigning and also putting a hold on my PH.D program in order travel to his base to beg him, I am confused I don’t know what to do''. Please I need to know what to do, I need advice..
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Posted: at 26-08-2014 10:48 AM (9 years ago) | Addicted Hero
morgrawl231 at 26-08-2014 11:27 AM (9 years ago) (m)
SHORT OF WORDS,,,,,,,JUST HANG ON TO JAH!
Posted: at 26-08-2014 11:27 AM (9 years ago) | Hero
ah ah u no what make him upset and u keep on doing the same mistake on and on by not picking his call haba even me if my babe don't pick ma call that what i will be suspecting any way make i hear from the guy 1st b4 i conclude
They can close the door against me but can't stop me frm coming in
Posted: at 26-08-2014 11:30 AM (9 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Make I hear. The phone might just be an excuse. Sometimes, this obodo guys after hooking up with Naija babes tend to compare them with those they find around them. You Oyinbo chicks them get different styles of kerewa.
A guy insulting me, I can endure...... but my parent ...... Mba nunu.
Again. Make I ask you. You finish BSc., MSc, and now PhD. all your years in school you know see better guy ........ May be your taste self land you where you dey now.
Posted: at 26-08-2014 11:45 AM (9 years ago) | Upcoming
If your story is true, well, it is touching. In my candid opinion you don't need to travel to meet with him, I don't think will change any thing because as it is, he seems to have made his mind and you don't even know this guy despite the fact that you call him your husband. He belongs to someone else.
Posted: at 26-08-2014 12:07 PM (9 years ago) | Gistmaniac
What is so special in this guy that you claimed did all this to you and your parents that made you want to resign your job and put hold your PHD to travel to his base and beg him. Don't you have your own dignity as a woman?? Moreover are you sure you did not tell this guys some lies before he came back for the marriage that he later found out, like your age and other things?? Search your heart woman because we ladies lie a lot to get married, if you did nothing bad to him then stay put and face your career and education. Don't bring yourself down or behave like a desperate woman, your husband will surely come.
Posted: at 26-08-2014 01:27 PM (9 years ago) | Newbie
Are you really that desperate? Why do you want to remain in an abusive relationship? Do you lack self-respect and self-esteem?
I see you as someone who is bright and has a plan for herself with all those degrees you are working on. I'd say pack it in, while you are still young and strong. Good things is, there is no child in between you too. Remember you didn't end the marriage, he did, by going out to impregnate another person. There is someone out there looking for you and ready to treat you like a queen.
I will like to talk to you personally, there seems to be some deep-seated psychological issue here.
Posted: at 26-08-2014 02:25 PM (9 years ago) | Newbie
( 1 ) You sent him a message that you wanted a divorce last month,and now you have been calling him begging him not to marry this girll, ( 2 ) Now you are planning to resign from your job. But you wouldn`t resign from the list of the company`s official training, ( 3 ) He sent you an invitation through the embassy just to be with you his wife,but you turned it down, did i hear you said Ex-girlfriend,which means he droped his Ex to crown you his queen,now you have given him the reason that the Ex is batter of,
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