Child Support.

Date: 03-08-2008 3:53 pm (16 years ago) | Author: Tee
- at 3-08-2008 03:53 PM (16 years ago)
(m)
When I first came to the States. My first impression of child support or rather what I was made to believe about it is that its evil to men especially those that cannot afford to pay it and end up being incarcerated. But my opinion about it changed after I met a wonderful woman whom through her I saw what women has to go through raising children in America. I think raising kids here is more complex than back home in africa where u have extended or immediately family helping u out with some chores and other stuffs. Now, my questions are:

1. DO U GUYS THINK CHILD SUPPORT IS EVIL AS I USED TO THINK. OR DO U AGREE WITH ME THAT ITS NOT ENOUGH SINCE CHILDREN NEEDS BOTH PARENT???

2. DO ANYONE HERE AGREE WITH ME THAT RAISING KIDS IN THE WEST IS A BIT MORE COMPLEX THAN BACK HOME IN AFRICA?

Your feedback would be highly appreciated cos I'm trying to shape my opinion with good convictions if u know what I mean.


Posted: at 3-08-2008 03:53 PM (16 years ago) | Upcoming
- kunzles at 3-08-2008 04:29 PM (16 years ago)
(m)
Ur concern on child support in the west xpecially USA is most interesting... i live in the US and always wonder WHY CHILD SUPPORT?.....the issue is multidimensional...being fair to the parties involved would go a long way to justify having to take some fathers to court to pay child support or why some fathers would rather become homeless instead of paying child support....b4 supporting the father or the mother....the child and his/her welfare is of utmost importance and should not suffer because of disagreement between the parents...having said this...checking out issues leading to child support or its lack...most often times paternity of the child involved is always at question....most fathers end up knowing they they have been supporting a bastard when t he child is grown....the level of infidelity openly displayed by western women gives most of their men the fear if they are actually the biological father of the child involved...most homes with step children issues wont have to go  through the issue cause from day one...the father knew the child is from a previous relationship..respects and takes care of the child even more than he must have had outside his marriage....considering pregnancies calculated to trap a man into marriage or even dedication ends up tuning the man against his supposed child each time he thinks he was trapped.....disrespect not intended...watch two episodes of Jerry springer chow and the lack of commitment to the institution of marriage and loving familiy-hood  would be appreciated....the west is more into "am independent and grown  and so i can do what i want with my life" without considerring effects of the decision on the lives of people around them.....it is known, in some states in USA if a woman can claim not to know who is responsible for  her pregnancy....she gets total support from the government...feeding...clothing...medicals...transportation...accommodation...name  it she gets it...I HAVE COLLEAGUE AT WORK WHO BOAST TO GET SEVEN PAYCHECKS EACH PAY PERIOD....she has only one job but 4 KIDS BEING SUPPORTED BY 5 FATHERS AND THE GOVERNMENT....this is no idle boast...that's what she does and proud of it....now what would the daughters among the kids do when they grow up...START FROM WHERE MUMMY STOP OF COURSE...would love to continue this discussion if contributed to........kunzles
Posted: at 3-08-2008 04:29 PM (16 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- philomena87 at 3-08-2008 04:35 PM (16 years ago)
(f)
raisin kids no matter where ure is very hard ... like me i helped my mum in raisin the rest brodas and sistas it was very hard talkless if i was the main xson (mother)
Posted: at 3-08-2008 04:35 PM (16 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- darkocean002 at 3-08-2008 07:44 PM (16 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: naijainct on  3-08-2008 03:53 PM
When I first came to the States. My first impression of child support or rather what I was made to believe about it is that its evil to men especially those that cannot afford to pay it and end up being incarcerated. But my opinion about it changed after I met a wonderful woman whom through her I saw what women has to go through raising children in America. I think raising kids here is more complex than back home in africa where u have extended or immediately family helping u out with some chores and other stuffs. Now, my questions are:

1. DO U GUYS THINK CHILD SUPPORT IS EVIL AS I USED TO THINK. OR DO U AGREE WITH ME THAT ITS NOT ENOUGH SINCE CHILDREN NEEDS BOTH PARENT???

2. DO ANYONE HERE AGREE WITH ME THAT RAISING KIDS IN THE WEST IS A BIT MORE COMPLEX THAN BACK HOME IN AFRICA?

Your feedback would be highly appreciated cos I'm trying to shape my opinion with good convictions if u know what I mean.



Raising a kid in any part of the world is kinda difficult. tats why most of the women there in the state go on birth control. some of em see having kids a pros. i have a friend, 38yrold woman, she chose her career instead of having kids. think its a different thing entirely raising a kid there in the State and back in Africa.. having kids is important in Africa while in the State most believe kids are problem..
Posted: at 3-08-2008 07:44 PM (16 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- naijainct at 3-08-2008 07:47 PM (16 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: kunzles on  3-08-2008 04:29 PM
Ur concern on child support in the west xpecially USA is most interesting... i live in the US and always wonder WHY CHILD SUPPORT?.....the issue is multidimensional...being fair to the parties involved would go a long way to justify having to take some fathers to court to pay child support or why some fathers would rather become homeless instead of paying child support....b4 supporting the father or the mother....the child and his/her welfare is of utmost importance and should not suffer because of disagreement between the parents...having said this...checking out issues leading to child support or its lack...most often times paternity of the child involved is always at question....most fathers end up knowing they they have been supporting a bastard when t he child is grown....the level of infidelity openly displayed by western women gives most of their men the fear if they are actually the biological father of the child involved...most homes with step children issues wont have to go  through the issue cause from day one...the father knew the child is from a previous relationship..respects and takes care of the child even more than he must have had outside his marriage....considering pregnancies calculated to trap a man into marriage or even dedication ends up tuning the man against his supposed child each time he thinks he was trapped.....disrespect not intended...watch two episodes of Jerry springer chow and the lack of commitment to the institution of marriage and loving familiy-hood  would be appreciated....the west is more into "am independent and grown  and so i can do what i want with my life" without considerring effects of the decision on the lives of people around them.....it is known, in some states in USA if a woman can claim not to know who is responsible for  her pregnancy....she gets total support from the government...feeding...clothing...medicals...transportation...accommodation...name  it she gets it...I HAVE COLLEAGUE AT WORK WHO BOAST TO GET SEVEN PAYCHECKS EACH PAY PERIOD....she has only one job but 4 KIDS BEING SUPPORTED BY 5 FATHERS AND THE GOVERNMENT....this is no idle boast...that's what she does and proud of it....now what would the daughters among the kids do when they grow up...START FROM WHERE MUMMY STOP OF COURSE...would love to continue this discussion if contributed to........kunzles


WOW! This is to the point and elaborate. I do agree with you that some women gets a kick out of it and some trap men just to have another check at the end of the week or bi-weekly as the case may be. But we also must not fail to understand that there are some good women who are true. women who had to resort to the law to make their baby daddy responsible for the seed they both sow. So, I would surmise that depending on the situation child support can be either good or bad.
Posted: at 3-08-2008 07:47 PM (16 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- naijainct at 3-08-2008 07:50 PM (16 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: darkocean002 on  3-08-2008 07:44 PM
Quote from: naijainct on  3-08-2008 03:53 PM
When I first came to the States. My first impression of child support or rather what I was made to believe about it is that its evil to men especially those that cannot afford to pay it and end up being incarcerated. But my opinion about it changed after I met a wonderful woman whom through her I saw what women has to go through raising children in America. I think raising kids here is more complex than back home in africa where u have extended or immediately family helping u out with some chores and other stuffs. Now, my questions are:

1. DO U GUYS THINK CHILD SUPPORT IS EVIL AS I USED TO THINK. OR DO U AGREE WITH ME THAT ITS NOT ENOUGH SINCE CHILDREN NEEDS BOTH PARENT???

2. DO ANYONE HERE AGREE WITH ME THAT RAISING KIDS IN THE WEST IS A BIT MORE COMPLEX THAN BACK HOME IN AFRICA?

Your feedback would be highly appreciated cos I'm trying to shape my opinion with good convictions if u know what I mean.



Raising a kid in any part of the world is kinda difficult. tats why most of the women there in the state go on birth control. some of em see having kids a pros. i have a friend, 38yrold woman, she chose her career instead of having kids. think its a different thing entirely raising a kid there in the State and back in Africa.. having kids is important in Africa while in the State most believe kids are problem..


You do have a point there but I still believe raising children in Africa is less complex because there's no government stipulations that hinders you from disciplining a child the way you believe. I'm of the old school that believe that a child should be spanked good when not acting right.
Posted: at 3-08-2008 07:50 PM (16 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- myragonza at 4-08-2008 11:50 AM (16 years ago)
(f)
Child support is fair when the child is really urs....even though a child needs both parents,sometimes it don't work out but as a father,he have to support his child...thats his responsibility......


In states,kids have priviledges....single mothers have aids to help them with their needs....they are given jobs and allowances to live on and stuffs but in naija,single mothers are looked down upon...they don't get help as easily....

Posted: at 4-08-2008 11:50 AM (16 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- naijainct at 4-08-2008 03:53 PM (16 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: myragonza on  4-08-2008 11:50 AM
Child support is fair when the child is really urs....even though a child needs both parents,sometimes it don't work out but as a father,he have to support his child...thats his responsibility......


In states,kids have priviledges....single mothers have aids to help them with their needs....they are given jobs and allowances to live on and stuffs but in naija,single mothers are looked down upon...they don't get help as easily....


well said.
Posted: at 4-08-2008 03:53 PM (16 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- darkocean002 at 4-08-2008 05:41 PM (16 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: naijainct on  3-08-2008 07:50 PM
Quote from: darkocean002 on  3-08-2008 07:44 PM
Quote from: naijainct on  3-08-2008 03:53 PM
When I first came to the States. My first impression of child support or rather what I was made to believe about it is that its evil to men especially those that cannot afford to pay it and end up being incarcerated. But my opinion about it changed after I met a wonderful woman whom through her I saw what women has to go through raising children in America. I think raising kids here is more complex than back home in africa where u have extended or immediately family helping u out with some chores and other stuffs. Now, my questions are:

1. DO U GUYS THINK CHILD SUPPORT IS EVIL AS I USED TO THINK. OR DO U AGREE WITH ME THAT ITS NOT ENOUGH SINCE CHILDREN NEEDS BOTH PARENT???

2. DO ANYONE HERE AGREE WITH ME THAT RAISING KIDS IN THE WEST IS A BIT MORE COMPLEX THAN BACK HOME IN AFRICA?

Your feedback would be highly appreciated cos I'm trying to shape my opinion with good convictions if u know what I mean.



Raising a kid in any part of the world is kinda difficult. tats why most of the women there in the state go on birth control. some of em see having kids a pros. i have a friend, 38yrold woman, she chose her career instead of having kids. think its a different thing entirely raising a kid there in the State and back in Africa.. having kids is important in Africa while in the State most believe kids are problem..


You do have a point there but I still believe raising children in Africa is less complex because there's no government stipulations that hinders you from disciplining a child the way you believe. I'm of the old school that believe that a child should be spanked good when not acting right.

True
Posted: at 4-08-2008 05:41 PM (16 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Vixenx at 4-08-2008 11:49 PM (16 years ago)
(f)
Well what can i say? Grin Grin Grin...Although my son lives with me...but he's always with his father, and so because of that i told him not to bother paying me child support, Although i chose to give him a lil something each week to be nice cuz it does help me alot when it comes to working..going out,  and going to school. So yeah some ppl do have kids just to get the extra income..or even around income tax season. Because you're allowed to claim only 2 kids...those with more than two will give the others to someone to claim and split the money between them..And from the stories i heard about baby mamas and child support, and how some will even put a guy on child support cuz the relationship ain't work out. ...He should be lucky and glad to have one like me! Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Cool..no bother or headaches. Grin
Posted: at 4-08-2008 11:49 PM (16 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- onyin at 5-08-2008 12:13 AM (16 years ago)
(f)
@Vixen.u r a sweetheart.tht's rlly nice of u,guess ur son must be rlly lucky to hv u as a mother.keep up the gud work LUV.
Posted: at 5-08-2008 12:13 AM (16 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- onyin at 5-08-2008 12:28 AM (16 years ago)
(f)
@Poster.wel, i don't kn of US ,i only know of UK.yea, lik u said there are gud moms and i agree wit u.cos i kn of a lady who tries all her best to tk care of her child and the worst part of everythin the father of the child doesn't even care.and she refused to tk him to court.and also in UK most teenage girls get babies all for the same of benefit from the Government .as wel as due to the fact tht they don't want to go to school.meanin,sum women/girls use child support as a way of makin easy earn money.sum of ma cousin where born and raised here ,they are all wel behaved and disciplined.so i think it does not matter on where u raise a child ,but it depends on the parent who raise the child.but it's not tht easy to raise a child in UK.
Posted: at 5-08-2008 12:28 AM (16 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Vixenx at 5-08-2008 12:53 AM (16 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: onyin on  5-08-2008 12:13 AM
@Vixen.u r a sweetheart.tht's rlly nice of u,guess ur son must be rlly lucky to hv u as a mother.keep up the gud work LUV.


awww..thanks girl, preciate that alot. Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss
Posted: at 5-08-2008 12:53 AM (16 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- onyin at 5-08-2008 12:58 AM (16 years ago)
(f)
u r welcome.
Posted: at 5-08-2008 12:58 AM (16 years ago) | Hero
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- Annana at 25-12-2011 03:39 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Okey, this topic maybe old, but the issue remains valid.

If it matters that much, go for DNA testing when having doubt one is a father to kids supposedly demanded for child support. It is embarassing to the whole family of course, to the child, to the mum, to the dad.

Paying for the well-being of children is seen as a burden to the dad. Bringing up children, itself, is no less a tough and challenging task.When a mother has to carry all burden on her two small shoulders, that is still a far cry from the flaunting she tells all with pride about the child-support she's getting from her kids' five or so daddies or even the government.

What do you take child rearing for? Its time, sweat, energy and ALL of the woman called 'mother' has given into the 'life' of her growing child & children. And you people cough out 'child-support' as "EVIL". The freedom men wants in their life, and the emotional threshhold men naturally has, are not enough for that task. Now this is not denying those men who had 'made it' with looking after their children. But this is to the men in general.

Don't take child rearing for granted. And as if child-support is evil. Such position is immature.
Posted: at 25-12-2011 03:39 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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