1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk, and label it "In".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for segxwal favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8. Dont use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital, and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends that you can't attend their party, because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
17. When your money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!", "Third time this week!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives; they're loose!"
19. Over dinner, tell your children, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity:
20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or asked you not to send them stuff like this.
| Posted: at | |
TRENDING GISTS 
New American Citizen! Nigerian Blogger, Tunde Ednut Officially Becomes US Citizen
Portable Reveals He Made N70M in Three Days After Fight With Speed Darlington (Video)
VIDEO: Man Caught While Waiting For a Minor he Had Solicited S£x From Online
Rapper, Phyno Unveils His Daughter, Shares Adorable Video to Mark Her Second Birthday
Ex Madrid Player, Xabi Alonso Seals Managerial Move To Real Madrid As Ancelotti Bows Out