He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is
extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want
to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-
toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he falls over
backwards and lands flat on his rear end.
.
That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple
of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke,
and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly. But, he
was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt.
.
A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood,
so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough,
his behind was cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired
the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and
he went to bed.
.
The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was
hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to
think up some good story, when his wife came into the
bedroom.
"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said.
"Where'd you go?"
.
"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of
beers."
.
"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got
plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?"
.
"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"
.
"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this
morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the
mirror."
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