Should I go ahead and get married now or wait?

Date: 14-05-2010 5:53 am (14 years ago) | Author: weirdTexas
- at 14-05-2010 05:53 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
I met this wonderful guy about two months ago and we have such a strong chemistry.We come from the same country so that was an extra..anyway,we both live in different states and so it's being tough coping but we are managing.We both wanna get married in the near future but i am freaking out about the idea of the marriage.I am the kinda of girl who would pick on a little mistake or red flag about a guy and then let him go no matter how nice he is but it's different with this new guy.he's not perfect but i do love him.He doesn't try to put up a 'shop" to impress me and makes me feel comfortable around him.Im going to school and it's not near to where he lives.What do i do now? Get married,or engaged and finish school first? Im in my mid 20's just like him and i don't want to lose him just because i couldn't make up my mind.What do you all suggest? And also,i can continue school should i get married but then someone will have to relocate..i dont think i can move now b/c of school and for him too b/c of his job.Thank you for reading.
Good night

Posted: at 14-05-2010 05:53 AM (14 years ago) | Newbie
- onchedu at 14-05-2010 06:17 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Hmmm. A marriage decision needs more than good chemistry to stand on. If it was all good chemistry I'd have been married more times than I can count.

I get scared when a girl/woman uses loving a guy as her reason to want to marry him for some reasons I will keep to myself for now.

You want to get married but U don't want to move. Arent U in school and wont moving mean U'l be going to Ur home with him after sessions end? Most girls I know who want to get married usually find that as a huge motivation... Moving to the guys house and making it a home.

What if Ur just scared of loosing him? Did U know that perfect love casts out fear? So U say it's not perfect but I'm saying the fear element myt be a warning sign that this isn't the love U myt want to make the big decision on yet? It could grow into that but it myt not be it yet.

U both lov each other U say? Then U have no problem as long as U both know that U love each other. Marriage is something U should spend the rest of Ur life in. Why rush in and only to find out that U did so too early. He is devoted to U and U are to him. If I know guys like I think I do, if he's certain he has found "the one," he wont be going no where else to look. Now it's left for U to keeping giving off good vibe an moulding Ur self and him into people U both can love and be sure of being in the right relatonship with. If Ur adding more value to Ur life consistently and he's finding more treasures in U, U have him buy the balls. No where wey him go go.

Why don't U consult with Ur dad. I said dad cos ur mum myt be excited about seeing grand kids and give U only good reasons why U should get married, especially if she likes (approves) of the guy as worthy of her daugther, not necessarily if he's actually so or not. Ur dad should be able to help U apply more logic to Ur decision and that would hlep Ur emotions be sensible.

I'm still wondering why U would love a guy and not want to move in with him, especially since U want to be married to him. U have to be the first girl I've ssen that would say that. U could live on a tree and all a girl wants to do is move 'on' with U when she loves U as much. I've experienced that several times. Well they want to marry U,  move in with U, thenmake U get a better place. No qualms sha!

Anyway, pray bout it too. I'm sure U'l find answers. Just don't be afraid of loosing something so bad U get Urself stuck with something U regret for the rest of Ur life. ok?
Posted: at 14-05-2010 06:17 AM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- onchedu at 14-05-2010 06:28 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
PS: Ur love life has more to do with ur readiness (emotionally, psychologically, e.t.c) than it does with Ur schooling or career path. U could be in school and get married... unless of course there are people whose opinions U regard more highly than Ur joy and are scared of how Ur being married myt affect Ur relationships with them?

Are u one of those girls that feel the arch enemy of professional success is marriage? if u are then U should find out what Ur guy here feels marriage should be. If his idea of a home is tow professionally inclined people cohabiting legally and making and raising offspring, u myt just be in luck. Otherwise U myt be find Urself in a marital relationship with some one whose ideals conflict Urs.

Ur at the ideal age for marriage I guess. Weigh Ur feelings with reality. Check Ur readiness and his? Do a mental projection of how U feel Ur relationship will be 5oyears on based on what U know about urself and about him. Determine now if it's ur libido playing tricks on U or his influencing Urs. Cos if the chemistry Ur talking about is that mushy "hold me, kiss me, have Ur way with me, but marry me first" feeling urging U on, U myt want to slow down too.

Is anyone ever READY for marriage? NO! U take a leap of faith into marriage and match ur faith with works to get what u want in it and give all it is U have into it.
Posted: at 14-05-2010 06:28 AM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Chyno at 14-05-2010 06:58 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
A lot of tyns hs 2 be evaluated b4 1 cn say he/she is ready 4 marriage, dnt be confused & dnt allow ppl 2 influence ur decision cos u jst mit get married only 2 discover dt u jst pleased dem alone.
Posted: at 14-05-2010 06:58 AM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Tuks at 14-05-2010 07:46 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Marriage wud definitely cum,wen it wud cum....Get ur prorities right first;Marriage or ur Education?Yu dont av 2 rush tinz.Take dem one step at a time....
Posted: at 14-05-2010 07:46 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Pires07 at 14-05-2010 07:55 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
@Tuks, that was nice and short.
There's no point rushing things up, both parties re still young.
Posted: at 14-05-2010 07:55 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Solidstonez at 27-11-2012 04:49 AM (12 years ago)
(f)
 Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
Posted: at 27-11-2012 04:49 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- Solidstonez at 27-11-2012 04:49 AM (12 years ago)
(f)
 Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Posted: at 27-11-2012 04:49 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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