I need help.......

Date: 18-05-2010 1:43 pm (13 years ago) | Author: Temilorun Oyetunde
- at 18-05-2010 01:43 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Pls wat should i do improve my sex life. Whenever my husband wants 2 make love 2 me,i always say no bcos whenever i'm having sex i barely feel anything. The way people talk about sex makes me thing i'm missing much bcos i don't like it. I always feel like i'm punishing myself whenever i'm doing it and i'm tired of not satisfying my husband. PLS WAT SHOULD I DO?Huh?

Posted: at 18-05-2010 01:43 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie
- dirtykid at 18-05-2010 01:48 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Hmmm,

why u dont like it at all? is there any bad experince u had in the past.. ? did someone force u sex from childhood or something? becos is one of the side effects. just like .......ACA, u know what i mean ?

Posted: at 18-05-2010 01:48 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- onchedu at 18-05-2010 01:51 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Hmmm... Maybe U should see a doc to make sure all's well with Ur "tools." If they say Ur physically ok, we can work on emotional and psychological attitude U myt have towards sex and then delve into what creative things U can try out.

The thing is, at the end of the day if Ur interested in satisfying Ur husband then U have to understand his needs and find pleasure in meeting them. With that we can't really help U here but to tell U to get to know him better.

There are so much info I'll need to say any more than this. Lets see what U reveal as time goes on.
Posted: at 18-05-2010 01:51 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- Temluv at 18-05-2010 01:52 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
No,i don't have dat kind of experience, actually my husband is my first.
Posted: at 18-05-2010 01:52 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie
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- Pires07 at 18-05-2010 01:54 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Temluv on 18-05-2010 01:43 PM
Pls wat should i do improve my sex life. Whenever my husband wants 2 make love 2 me,i always say no bcos whenever i'm having sex i barely feel anything. The way people talk about sex makes me thing i'm missing much bcos i don't like it. I always feel like i'm punishing myself whenever i'm doing it and i'm tired of not satisfying my husband. PLS WAT SHOULD I DO?Huh?
u guyz need to see a medical doctor to advice ur man on what to do/take to improve his sex life. There re pills out there that can solve his problem, jst see a medical doctor.

Posted: at 18-05-2010 01:54 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- dirtykid at 18-05-2010 01:55 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Then u need to see a doctor to make sure all is cool with u.. just like Onche said in his post. maybe u re emotionaly down when it comes to that. is something u need to work on and also discuss it with ur husband. Both of u can fix it together if ur doctor will say all is well with u.

Posted: at 18-05-2010 01:55 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- onchedu at 18-05-2010 01:59 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
What was Ur relationship with him like prior to marriage? Were U friends and did U find him attractive or segxwally appealing in the least bit or was Ur's with more more of a sudden wedding spuring from an arranged meeting?
Posted: at 18-05-2010 01:59 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- Temluv at 18-05-2010 02:04 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Y r u all telling me 2 c a doctor?? God!!! I don't lyk going 2 d hospital & besides the nature of my work won't allow me. Y don't u tell me about d emotional aspect maybe it might work.
Posted: at 18-05-2010 02:04 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie
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- onchedu at 18-05-2010 02:04 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Temluv on 18-05-2010 01:52 PM
No,i don't have dat kind of experience, actually my husband is my first.

Oh That's good! I'm impressed. He's a lucky man if he's the kind that likes the learning and discovery processes in relating to someone else segxwally.

Well, since he's Ur first I guess U have to re-orientate him about sex. He's got to wipe his mind clean of everything he assumes he has learnt first and meet U on fresh grounds where u both get to learn Urselves. Ur now his teacher and his student as he is Ur student and Ur teacher.

Just set lots of time out for segxwal relations with Urself and let that be Ur focus for now before thinking of having kids (If U don't already).

If U can get him to go open a profile here to so he can be part of our discussions it would help the both of U cos one-way knowledge in a two man "sport" is hardly ever as effective.
Posted: at 18-05-2010 02:04 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- onchedu at 18-05-2010 02:09 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Temluv on 18-05-2010 02:04 PM
Y r u all telling me 2 c a doctor?? God!!! I don't lyk going 2 d hospital & besides the nature of my work won't allow me. Y don't u tell me about d emotional aspect maybe it might work.

Telling U to see a doctor first cos Ur libido levels myt be low and that myt be cos of some dietary problems or neurological problems or physical irregularities (naturally occuring or humanly engineered e.g genital mutilation), hormonal imbalances or some other health issues that the doctor is in the best position to discover and possibly prescribe solutions to.

If Ur more interested in the emotional we can take things from that angle and see if we can get to the root of Ur problem.
Posted: at 18-05-2010 02:09 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- Temluv at 18-05-2010 02:13 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
@onchedu,We were friends dat ended up in marriage but the thing is i don't think of He's attractive and d only thing i know is i love him & i want 2 be with him 4 d rest of my life.
Posted: at 18-05-2010 02:13 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie
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- Pires07 at 18-05-2010 02:16 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Temluv on 18-05-2010 02:04 PM
Y r u all telling me 2 c a doctor?? God!!! I don't lyk going 2 d hospital & besides the nature of my work won't allow me. Y don't u tell me about d emotional aspect maybe it might work.
i suggested a medical doctor cos i doubt if we've got one here in this forum and secondly they've got lots experience of ur issue, they can handle it proffessionally as a proffesional so u dnt go abt laying blames on what u learnt or heard 4rm some social site.
If u think it's an emotional problem well then ur problem is half way solved. U both should go and see an experienced cousellor.

Posted: at 18-05-2010 02:16 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- onchedu at 18-05-2010 02:25 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Love has is hardly a factor to go by when it comes to great sex. Love only comes to play in  intimate lovemaking where the pleasure of being with each other segxwally is more important to both parties than the need for orgasms.

Attraction and desire are more potent factors in the pursuit of segxwal pleasure.

What do u feel will make Ur husband more attractive to U. Does he need to pay more attention to his dress sense or is he out of shape and needing to do some work outs to get him back? Is his approach to foreplay not satisfactory by ur expectations?

U see out of wedlock sex is a game of chance where U can't discuss what U have to offer and desire to get as easily as U are entitled to do so in marriage. U are married and want to be with him for the rest of Ur life. That myt be a long time and it's only better to do what u can to make sure that time is spent in mutual satisfaction.

Why don't U give him a make over. When u see a man that looks attractive to U point out to him the things that make that man so and tel him U feel there's look better than the man in those things. Be subtle about Ur observations so u don't end up making him feel bad bout his own dress sense.
Posted: at 18-05-2010 02:25 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- dammie3787 at 18-05-2010 02:27 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
But why?………… May be you should continue one day you will love it. Just be doing it frequently morning and night

Posted: at 18-05-2010 02:27 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie
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- chrisphemy at 18-05-2010 02:29 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
its a rare occurence 2 c a virgin nt enjoyin sex wit d husband.Infact av nt seen it happen b4.Come out clean and get a good advice.
Posted: at 18-05-2010 02:29 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- esonu at 18-05-2010 02:53 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
no comment

Posted: at 18-05-2010 02:53 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- akjasper at 18-05-2010 03:06 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Temluv on 18-05-2010 01:43 PM
Pls wat should i do improve my sex life. Whenever my husband wants 2 make love 2 me,i always say no bcos whenever i'm having sex i barely feel anything. The way people talk about sex makes me thing i'm missing much bcos i don't like it. I always feel like i'm punishing myself whenever i'm doing it and i'm tired of not satisfying my husband. PLS WAT SHOULD I DO?Huh?

Something is wrong smwhere , and the best solution ain't gonna come here bt go meet Ur personal doctor and explain things to him/her......U really need to enjoy Ur segxwal life while married ,Cos u ain't married jst to make children alone !
Posted: at 18-05-2010 03:06 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- nickyvil at 18-05-2010 03:53 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
see a doctor first
Posted: at 18-05-2010 03:53 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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