Female tongue control: how can it help us become better partners?

Date: 17-09-2010 10:21 am (13 years ago) | Author: Onyinya
[1] 2
- at 17-09-2010 10:21 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
In the past, women fought back by nagging and tongue-lashing and it caused fights and turned men to monsters and wife-beaters.

In present day, we are advocating against domestic violence, and that men should be gentle and courteous, I think women too should learn to hold themselves a little in the face of provocation and not empty every vocal arsenal at their disposal in a bid to fight back.

What are some suggestions you have on this so that our homes / relationships will remain happy as we hoped when it was started?

Posted: at 17-09-2010 10:21 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
- kokokool at 17-09-2010 10:24 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
be right back
Posted: at 17-09-2010 10:24 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- bhl72 at 17-09-2010 10:39 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
as usual
Posted: at 17-09-2010 10:39 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- sophiebaby at 17-09-2010 10:50 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
1- Agree with her
By simply acknowledging the validity of her complaints you'll be able to buy yourself invaluable time. Granted, the problems won't be any closer to being resolved, but she'll be so pleased that you've come around to her way of thinking that she'll temporarily let you off the hook.

2- Tune it out
When she cranks up the volume of her whining, crank up the volume on your stereo just like you used to do with your mom or, better yet, simply zone out altogether. Be forewarned, however, that nagging is a lot like the clap: Ignoring it won't make it go away. Tuning her out may be a decent short-term solution, but ultimately it'll infuriate her more than missing a one-day liquidation sale at her favorite shoe store.

3- Pick your battles
Sometimes you have to know when a battle is worth fighting, and when surrendering is more advantageous. If she gripes about you leaving your dirty dishes in the sink, never taking out the dog, and six other unpardonable offenses, raise your little white flag (or tighty-whities -- either will do). Then, when it comes to the four other things she nags about, show her you did all of the errands she harassed you about earlier. She'll be so pleased with your effort, you'll be able to leave the toilet seat up for a week (not a guarantee).

4- Attempt a preemptive strike
If her biggest issue is the mess you leave when the boys come over for poker night, make an effort to clean it before she has a chance to open her cave-sized trap. We know, it sounds almost too easy, but taking five minutes to clean up after yourself can save you from three hours of mind-numbing, soul-crushing, ball-stomping nagging.

5- Give deadlines & meet them
You're watching the Super Bowl and she won't stop harping about replacing the light bulbs in the foyer. Just assure her it will be done during halftime or, more specifically, as soon as the game ends -- and then do it. In the future, she'll know there's no need to nag you because you always come through on your promise (looks like your high school guidance counselor was wrong about you after all!).

Posted: at 17-09-2010 10:50 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- divineproject at 17-09-2010 10:55 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
From my own point of view or rather from my observation, I have found out that men whose wives talk back at them are those who have lost respect before their wives.  We need know that respect is earned and not forced............men need to recognise that their wives are there partners and not servants......for those men just going into marriage, try as much as you can NOT to lift your hands against your wife for once, becos the  first time you beat your wife you begin to diminish before her, next time she will say, afterall it will only take a beating...........with each beating, she becomes more hardened.........beating doesnt change an adult, rather it hardens the person........the person wont respect you, rather you may end up being feared/hated..........surely FEAR and HATRED are not needed in relationships........

For the women, we have to learn to put our tongue in check and try not to provoke the men in anyway...........brb

Posted: at 17-09-2010 10:55 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- Adikpe at 17-09-2010 10:59 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Respect one another.
Posted: at 17-09-2010 10:59 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- bhl72 at 17-09-2010 11:06 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: divineproject on 17-09-2010 10:55 AM
From my own point of view or rather from my observation, I have found out that men whose wives talk back at them are those who have lost respect before their wives.  We need know that respect is earned and not forced............men need to recognise that their wives are there partners and not servants......for those men just going into marriage, try as much as you can NOT to lift your hands against your wife for once, becos the  first time you beat your wife you begin to diminish before her, next time she will say, afterall it will only take a beating...........with each beating, she becomes more hardened.........beating doesnt change an adult, rather it hardens the person........the person wont respect you, rather you may end up being feared/hated..........surely FEAR and HATRED are not needed in relationships........

For the women, we have to learn to put our tongue in check and try not to provoke the men in anyway...........brb

Ol Boy, DP, you made my day... God bless you and increase your wisdom. I think it is truly interesting... after the initial beating, more beating goes on. But then that may readily apply to some people; others may just retreat into their shells... and the real woman dies leaving us a silhouette...!
Posted: at 17-09-2010 11:06 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- sophiebaby at 17-09-2010 11:11 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
so u dey beat ya woman

Posted: at 17-09-2010 11:11 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- bittersweet at 17-09-2010 11:11 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: divineproject on 17-09-2010 10:55 AM
From my own point of view or rather from my observation, I have found out that men whose wives talk back at them are those who have lost respect before their wives.  We need know that respect is earned and not forced............men need to recognise that their wives are there partners and not servants......for those men just going into marriage, try as much as you can NOT to lift your hands against your wife for once, becos the  first time you beat your wife you begin to diminish before her, next time she will say, afterall it will only take a beating...........with each beating, she becomes more hardened.........beating doesnt change an adult, rather it hardens the person........the person wont respect you, rather you may end up being feared/hated..........surely FEAR and HATRED are not needed in relationships........

For the women, we have to learn to put our tongue in check and try not to provoke the men in anyway...........brb

Well said, DP! Wink

Posted: at 17-09-2010 11:11 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- bhl72 at 17-09-2010 12:45 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
yea you can say that again. and i think with this, we can put paid to this post...
Posted: at 17-09-2010 12:45 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- divineproject at 17-09-2010 12:57 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
hmm..........dont just close the case like dat........this shouldnt be a one-man squad...........hehehe

Posted: at 17-09-2010 12:57 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- jukkiebukwes at 17-09-2010 12:58 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
if  u pay attention to the smallest details in your home and to ur wife, your wife wont become a nag. however if she's one naturally, u can make her change, not by beating b/c just as DP said it wud only make her nagging worse!
Posted: at 17-09-2010 12:58 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- snedy at 17-09-2010 01:14 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
na wa
Posted: at 17-09-2010 01:14 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- bhl72 at 17-09-2010 01:21 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: jukkiebukwes on 17-09-2010 12:58 PM
if  u pay attention to the smallest details in your home and to ur wife, your wife wont become a nag. however if she's one naturally, u can make her change, not by beating b/c just as DP said it wud only make her nagging worse!

ya JB, i like the part that beating can harden... as in, afterall na only beating finish... In those days, women dey remove headtie take am tie for waist, dare the man to beat them...
Posted: at 17-09-2010 01:21 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- sophiebaby at 17-09-2010 01:24 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
men beating dia woman raise ya hands up

Posted: at 17-09-2010 01:24 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- Michro at 17-09-2010 01:26 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
@ poster, see me later for an answer

Posted: at 17-09-2010 01:26 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- bhl72 at 17-09-2010 01:27 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: sophiebaby on 17-09-2010 01:24 PM
men beating dia woman raise ya hands up

your type na im dem de like to beat. you dey like one woman wey I see the other day. Her complain be say, e don dey reach 3months and her husband never beat am
Posted: at 17-09-2010 01:27 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- bhl72 at 17-09-2010 01:28 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Michro on 17-09-2010 01:26 PM
@ poster, see me later for an answer

i don get enough sef, keep am to urself. I no dey beat gf, let alone wife wey I suppose adore say i select am out of all the millions... na mad?
Posted: at 17-09-2010 01:28 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- sophiebaby at 17-09-2010 01:31 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: bhl72 on 17-09-2010 01:27 PM
Quote from: sophiebaby on 17-09-2010 01:24 PM
men beating dia woman raise ya hands up

your type na im dem de like to beat. you dey like one woman wey I see the other day. Her complain be say, e don dey reach 3months and her husband never beat am

i can only complain of d other beating..hard core beating with hot and long horse whip... Grin Grin Grin Grin

Posted: at 17-09-2010 01:31 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- bhl72 at 17-09-2010 01:41 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
tufia kwa! your own don too much! no go jam over size o
Posted: at 17-09-2010 01:41 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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