a sip of vodka

Date: 09-02-2011 4:20 pm (13 years ago) | Author: Enioluwa Ogunwoolu
- at 9-02-2011 04:20 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door:

Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
There are 10 commandments, not 12.
There are 12 disciples, not 10.
Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his backside.
We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and Spook.
David slew Goliath, he did not kick the **** out of him.
When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his backside.
We do not refer to the cross as the big T!
When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say ,"Eat me."
The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the "Mary with the cherry."
The reccomended grace before a meal is not:"Rub-Adub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God."
Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's

Posted: at 9-02-2011 04:20 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
- AKIOLUFUNMILAYO at 9-02-2011 04:27 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
 Cool Cool Cool
Posted: at 9-02-2011 04:27 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- terryworld at 9-02-2011 04:32 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
lol
Posted: at 9-02-2011 04:32 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- sandra-marbel at 9-02-2011 04:35 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
lovely  Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
Posted: at 9-02-2011 04:35 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- enoibd at 10-02-2011 01:28 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
nice  Cheesy Cheesy
Posted: at 10-02-2011 01:28 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Ashima at 10-02-2011 01:32 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
The power of Vodka.
Posted: at 10-02-2011 01:32 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- giftmurphy at 10-02-2011 11:11 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
cul
Posted: at 10-02-2011 11:11 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Skypon2002 at 10-02-2011 11:17 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
i dont understand
can someone rescue me? pls Sad Sad
Posted: at 10-02-2011 11:17 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- soki4real at 10-02-2011 11:22 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
 Grin Grin
Posted: at 10-02-2011 11:22 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Skypon2002 at 16-02-2011 05:00 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
close ur teeth Angry Angry
Posted: at 16-02-2011 05:00 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- Sheree at 16-02-2011 05:07 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
I waka pass
Posted: at 16-02-2011 05:07 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Abolore05 at 17-02-2011 05:59 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
nice one Wink
Posted: at 17-02-2011 05:59 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
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