As usual, countless responses and feedbacks have rolled in from various angles regarding the last topic we treated in this column. As an unbiased and realistic sex therapist and segxwal health consultant, it would be partial if I do not set a scale of balance by itemising six reasons married women find segxwal solace in the arms of other men.
These articles and my practical counselling sessions in my office are not meant to castigate any spouse, but to provide an educative medium and serve as an 'eye-opener' to things affecting marriages 'home and abroad.' Besides, through it, I have been able to restore incalculable broken homes and bring back 'alive' relationships that have been written off as hopeless, for over two decades.
Case one: Mrs. Loveth is married to a Nigeria-based contractor; they have been married for 15 years with two children, but her husband spends more time in the office than the home. Some of her friends, who saw the level of negligence, had advised her to try out other men in order to get segxwal satisfaction. She went ahead and got a younger man and provided his needs - food, clothing and shelter. The young man, on the other hand, gave her unimaginable segxwal treats and serviced her 24/7. According to her, she still cherishes and treasures those memories until date.
"Why do you have to go to such a demeaning extent?" I asked. "I was dying for a man's touch, for a man's voice, whispers, whispering sexy things to me to keep me alive. I was dying to experience those things you write in your column. I once pleaded with my husband and his only response was, 'You are jobless; that is why you only think of sex.' Do you know that I could decide to be a lesbian without the knowledge of my husband? However, I wanted sex with real men, and since he denied me, I went out."
Case 2: A highly-cultured university lecturer was in my office at about the closing hour. She felt really embarrassed in respect of the circumstance for which she was seeking segxwal consultation. Her story? Her husband has been away in the US for the past five years, and she has fought loneliness with all sorts of sex toys to the extent that she cannot feel any sensation on her clitoris again due to numbness. She even enrolled for a degree course just to beat loneliness, all to no avail. She yearned for a man's touch, for erotic escapades. Against her wish, she succumbed to the advances of another man who does not only satisfy her all the segxwal craving she had, but also awaken the tigress in her. Now her husband is not only back, but he is not as segxwally vibrant, bubbling, energetic and lively as her sex partner, her purpose of visit to my office is to know how to handle the situation.
So, why does a married woman seek segxwal pleasure in the arms of another man? When a married woman is segxwally neglected, she falls into the arms of the next available sympathiser.
Husbands should be aware of the fact that both men and women have identical segxwal needs, desires, attractions, tastes and fantasies. It is a mirage to assume that the wife is only at the receptive end, must submissively obey, and carry out the segxwal demands of her husband, ignoring the fact that she also needs to exhibit her segxwal expression. God made both man and woman segxwal beings with similar segxwal chemistry called segxwal hormones. The segxwal instinct of a man is God made, but 'He' wants the preservation of sex to be within the walls of a marriage. However, when endless business trips, long distance marriage relationships, prolonged office hours, marathon fasting and prayer sessions is the order of the day in your marriage, please begin to adjust fast, there is a need for balancing.
Reason two: A woman's heart is her first bedroom for sex: 'space is provided' for anyone who gives attention to her heart. Ladies in general have an insatiable appetite for attention, approval, affirmations, and devotion.
The never-ending search for attention and affection makes a married woman find segxwal adventure in the arms of other men. Nothing wears down the immune system of the sex bed like a husband being too busy to spend time alone with his wife. Love and sex, to a wife, 'is spelt,' A-T-T-E-N-T-I-O-N and A-F-F-E-C-T-I-O-N. No matter what you do for her, she still requires your time. To deny her attention is to jeopardise your sex bed and create room for another man to step into the bedroom.
Marital love to a married woman is more than a game, it is 'life.' A woman would give everything she has to have a marriage that works and a home that is the envy of everyone. A woman is ready to invest all her life to possess her dream home.
No matter how much a husband cares, if he does not communicate in action, the wife still feels unloved. There is a desire within every wife to share her greatest dreams, deepest desires, and innermost thoughts and heartfelt needs with the man she marries
truenaija2 at 19-04-2011 11:26 AM (14 years ago) (f)
ok , he said some married men spend more time in the office than at home , they also dont communicate with thier wife and dont have time to have sex with her , if she even begs him for the sex he will say u r jobless thats why u think of sex sex sex, some are away for five years and the wife tried her best to fight the lonliness even went for a course but it was not successful , so she fell into the hands of another man who gives her good sex even when the hubby came back his sex was not as good as that of the other guy , so in summary if u neglect your wife she will have sex with someoneelse a woman has sex drive as well as a man , it is fantasy to assume she is a log of wood and her sex drive is dead cos she is married to you and dat she has to be tuned to satisfy him cos she also wants to be satisfied i don try my best to summarise
Posted: at 19-04-2011 11:26 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
chiglamour4u at 19-04-2011 11:54 AM (14 years ago) (f)
Quote from: truenaija2 on 19-04-2011 11:26 AM
ok , he said some married men spend more time in the office than at home , they also dont communicate with thier wife and dont have time to have sex with her , if she even begs him for the sex he will say u r jobless thats why u think of sex sex sex, some are away for five years and the wife tried her best to fight the lonliness even went for a course but it was not successful , so she fell into the hands of another man who gives her good sex even when the hubby came back his sex was not as good as that of the other guy , so in summary if u neglect your wife she will have sex with someoneelse a woman has sex drive as well as a man , it is fantasy to assume she is a log of wood and her sex drive is dead cos she is married to you and dat she has to be tuned to satisfy him cos she also wants to be satisfied i don try my best to summarise
ok dats a good summery and a nice one 2 poster. i no pray 4 such husband sha cos na pumper 2 pumper i go follow am
Posted: at 19-04-2011 11:54 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
harold634 at 19-04-2011 12:26 PM (14 years ago) (m)
Sex is the major bond of marriage which should be fulfilled by married couples (male N female) without a compromise. Some men are not fulfilling their segxwal obligations to their wives which at most times jeopardise the solidity of marriages. Married women shouldn't uses their husbands inability to fulfill their segxwal desire to engage in extra marital segxwal pleasure. Any married woman who decide to engage in extra affair can as well figure how to improved her husband segxwal desire towards her even when the man is not in the mood to have sex, there are certains things that brings a man mood to sex without objection. If she tried every single segxwal technology without positive result, she can as well get the man relatives involved to address the issues. Man lack of wife segxwal desire has an answer except if that man is mentally, physically and spiritually cripled.
A situation whereby married couples are far apart from each other is not encouraging, this kind of marriage brings nothing but unfaithfullness from both couples.
Posted: at 19-04-2011 12:26 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
diplomatik at 20-04-2011 01:22 AM (14 years ago) (f)
Quote from: dirtykid on 19-04-2011 11:31 AM
Need my reading glasses for this.
u can use mines...but u have to summarise for me when u're done reading
u've seen me right? i look kool right? ???but don't send me mails asking for my add or phone no. and don't give it to me either , i'll ask u if i want it ..ok...kool
Posted: at 20-04-2011 01:22 AM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
i don try my best to summarise 
i look kool right? ???but don't send me mails asking for my add or phone no. and don't give it to me either 
, i'll ask u if i want it ..ok...kool 
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