God and the Computer

Date: 09-11-2011 12:58 am (12 years ago) | Author: cjay flameo
- at 9-11-2011 12:58 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
In the beginning there was the computer.  And God typed:
        %>Let there be light!
        #Please login.
        %>login God
        #Password?.
        %>Omniscient
        #Password incorrect. Try again.
        %>Omnipotent
        #Password incorrect. Try again.
        %>Technocrat
        #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
        %>Let there be light!
        #Unrecognizable command. Try again.
        %>Create light
        #Done
        %>Run heaven_and_earth
        #And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
        #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
        #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
        %>Let there be firmament in the midst of waters dividing the waters
             which are under and above the firmament
        #Unrecognizable command. Try again.
        %>Create firmament
        #Done.
        %>Run firmament
        #And God created the heaven. And God saw there were 0 errors.
        #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
        #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
        %>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place
             and let the dry land appear and
        #Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
        %>Create dry_land
        #Done.
        %>Run dry_land
        #And God created the Earth & Seas. God saw there were 0 errors.
        #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
        #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
        %>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
        #Unspecified type. Try again.
        %>Create sun_moon_stars
        #Done
        %>Run sun_moon_stars
        #And God created the sun moon and stars. And God saw there were 0
             errors.
        #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
        #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
        %>Create fish
        #Done
        %>Create fowl
        #Done
        %>Run fish, fowl
        #And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature
             that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and
             every winged fowl after its kind.
        #And God saw there were 0 errors.
        #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
        #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
        %>Create cattle
        #Done
        %>Create creepy_things
        #Done
        %>Now let us make man in our image
        #Unspecified type. Try again.
        %>Create man
        #Done
        %>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it
             and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl
             of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the
             earth
        #Too many command operands. Try again.
        %>Run multiplication
        #Execution terminated. 6 errors.
        %>Insert breath
        #Done
        %>Run multiplication
        #Execution terminated. 5 errors.
        %>Move man to Garden of Eden
        #File Garden of Eden does not exist.
        %>Create Garden.edn
        #Done
        %>Move man to Garden.edn
        #Done
        %>Run multiplication
        #Execution terminated. 4 errors.
        %>Copy woman from man
        #Done
        %>Run multiplication
        #Execution terminated. 2 errors.
        %>Create desire
        #Done
        %>Run multiplication
        #And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
             Garden.edn
        #Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
        %>Create freewill
        #Done
        %>Run freewill
        #And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
             Garden.edn
        #Warning: No time limit on this run of multiplication. 1 errors.
        %>Undo desire
        #Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
        %>Destroy freewill
        #Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
        #Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
        %>Help
        #Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
        #Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
        #Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
        %>Create tree_of_knowledge
        #And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
             Garden.edn
        #Warning: No time limit on this run of multiplication. 1 errors.
        %>Create good, evil
        #Done
        %>Activate evil
        #And God saw he had created shame.
        #Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in
            Garden.edn.  1 errors.
        %>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
        #Search failed.
        %>Delete shame
        #Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
        %>Destroy freewill
        #Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
        #Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
        %>Stop
        #Unrecognizable command. Try again
        %>Break
        %>Break
        %>Break
        #ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN
             FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES.
             PLEASE LOG OFF.
        %>Create new world
        #You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old
             files before new ones can be created.
        %>Destroy earth
        #Destroy earth: Are you sure you want to destroy earth? (Y or N)
        %>Y
        #COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY,
        #MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
        #And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
        #MARCH 8 AT 6:01 AM
        #Please login.
        %>login God
        #ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER MALFUNCTION
        #USER FILE CORRUPTED * PLEASE SIGN IN AS NEW AGAIN
        #SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE
        %>NEW
        #PLEASE ENTER A USER NAME TO BE USED ON THIS SYSTEM
        %>God
        #NAME ALREADY TAKEN * PLEASE CHOOSE ANOTHER NAME
        %>who is God
        #God = B.GATES * NO FURTHER INFORMATION AVAILABLE
        #And NEW logged off

Posted: at 9-11-2011 12:58 AM (12 years ago) | Newbie
- Skypon2002 at 9-11-2011 04:31 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
rrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuubbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
no let God annoy for u ooo Angry Angry Angry Angry

Posted: at 9-11-2011 04:31 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- zeigbo at 9-11-2011 06:40 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
Comfarm yeye

Posted: at 9-11-2011 06:40 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- Deffney at 9-11-2011 08:35 AM (12 years ago)
(f)
lalalalalala

Posted: at 9-11-2011 08:35 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- zeigbo at 9-11-2011 09:37 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
Waitin be dat

Posted: at 9-11-2011 09:37 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- bigpeero at 9-11-2011 10:46 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
haba my friend! you want make got hammer your head or blind you or fold your hand wey you dey take write to abuse him, me i no dey o God no fit do any mistake you hear me so. so remove this and go beg for forgiveness. Angry Sad Shocked Tongue Embarrassed Lips Sealed :'( i dey cry for your sake.
Posted: at 9-11-2011 10:46 AM (12 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- Skypon2002 at 9-11-2011 09:16 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
cry well well  Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked

Posted: at 9-11-2011 09:16 PM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- Omilim at 9-11-2011 09:22 PM (12 years ago)
(f)
Poster i will slap u wif my leg for dis rubbish
Posted: at 9-11-2011 09:22 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply

fire TRENDING GISTS fire

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