Worst marriage story I've read in so many years...it's all based on money Man

The best way to solve a problem is to smile while to avoid it is to be silent...I applaud her...but the inner mind is hurt I knw dat...God is ur help

Not the dress fault...the boobs fault

The idiot opened a world class hospital yrs bck, now he travels for medicals...misleading leaders

So, dis man don die...eeya...Congratz 2 d family tho

wenger, dnt worry, nigerians will support u to marry Cossy Orjiakor without bride price

  It was at a party and Akpos – the
host was getting worried because
there were too many people and
not enough refreshments.
He was sure that not all of these
people had been invited but didn’t know how to
tell which
ones were the crashers.
Then he got an idea….
He turned to the crowd of guests
and said,
“Will those who are from the bride’s side of the
family stand up
please?”
About twenty people stood.
Then he asked,
“Will those who are from the
groom side of the family stand up as well?”
About twenty five people stood
up.
He then smiled and said,
-
- -
“Will all those who stood please
leave? This is a birthday party.

  A lady went to store to buy a parrot and asked the sale's man,"whats so
special about the parrot ?"
Sale's man says the parrot can talk so the lady asks the parrot, "how do
i look ?"
The parrot replied "you look like a prostitute!"
The lady got pissed off, and tells the sale's man that its a very rude
parrot and she cannot buy it.
The sale's man told the lady to please wait for two minutes, so he took
the parrot to the back of the store and shoves the parrot into a bucket
of water and when he pulls the parrot out, he says, "if you disrespect out
there i will soak you in water again.
Then he took the parrot back outside.
The salesman asked the lady to ask the parrot questions again.
LADY : If i come home withone man what would u think ?
PARROT : He's your husband.
LADY : Two men ?
PARROT : Your husband and his brother.
LADY : Three men ?
PARROT : Your husband, his brother and your brother.
LADY : Four men ?
PARROT : Sir, please just bring the bucket of water, I already told you
she is a prostitute!

  A blind guy visited his choir mistress @ her house to share
a testimony and found her bathing. since he was blind, she
let him in.
After bathing, she shaved in front of him and she tried 2
make conversation by asking him:
" Broda Iyke, what brings u here? Is everything fine @home? "
He replied: "Yes, very fine. I came to tell u that I have done
the eye operation, so I can see now"

  Akpos: Bar man! bring everyone drink cos wen am drinking, i want
everyone to drink and enjoy.
(Bar man obeys)
Akpos: Bar man! Bring two more bottles for evryone cos wen m drinking, I want evry1 2 drink
(bar man obeys)
Akpos : bar man! bring everyone goat meat cos wen am chewing, i want
everyone to chew.
(bar man obeys).
People began to chant and
celebrate him.
Akpos! Akpos!
Akpos! Akpos!
Akpos : Bar man! bring everyone their bill cos wen am paying for wat I drank, i want
everyone to pay also
If you were in that very beer parlour what will you do??

  white girl comes to ur shop to
buy phone..for example::
BLackberry 9810 (Touch screen)
Oyibo gurl, Park her car, come
out, press her remote
and walk straight to d nearest
shop which is ur shop.
She will say to U d seller, Hello!
Pls do u hav 9810?
SELLER: Yes I have it.
OYIBO GAL: Alright So how
much?
SELLER: it's 85,000 naira.
OYIBO GAL: Any discount?
SELLER: No dear. dat's d Price.
OYIBO GAL: ok then prepare d
receipt, Here's ur money.
*Business done, no argument,
not even up to 5mins.
9ja gal from nowhere walked 12
kilometers to ur shop,
sweating and panting as if she's
from Olympic.
9JA GAL: Oga don't u have Fan
or AC in dis ur shop?
SELLER: fakes a smile on his
face.
9JA GAL: I want to buy BB torch
screen.
SELLER: u mean d screen?
9JA GAL: Are u selling or not?
Give me blackberry
sliding touch. what is ur
problem?
SELLER: Oh u mean 9810?
9JA GAL: whatever! I didn't ask
4 d year it was
manufactured. All I want is
blackberry touch. So how
much is it?
SELLER, 85,000 .
9JA GAL: For what? Thief! What
they are selling 40,000
down there and u are here
telling me 85,000...why not
go and carry Gun?...Ole! Onye
oshi! How can u be
selling BB touch for 85,000...Is it
coming with American
Visa? Idiot...I don't even know y
I came to dis shop
self ......Mtcheeeeeeeeeew!
True or false

  GALA SELLERS TO REPRESENT NIGERIA AT 2014 WINTER OLYMPICS.

(PLS NOTE THAT THIS IS A SPOOF NEWS - Just for entertainment)

Culled: hotswen.com

The Nigerian sports ministry has embarked on an operation to recruit hawkers who sell items on major roads across the country. The sports minister, Mr John Fadiora, said “This is something we should have done a long time ago, we have many people who sell things on the roads and they are always in motion, running up and down to sell their goods. Some of them even run faster than many cars, these are raw talents wasting away. The federal ministry of sports has decided to work with these hawkers, especially the ones that sell gala sausage rolls, they run like sport cars. One of them chased me from Oshodi to my house in Victoria Island one day because I forgot to pay him his money, what was really surprising was that he even got to my house before me even though I was driving. These guys have what it takes to bring Nigeria all the gold medals when it comes to athletics. They will also save the country from spending so much money training new athletes as they don’t even need any training. They just need to continue selling their goods and on the day of the competition we will take them to go and represent us at Sochi winter 2014. I’m sure Usain Bolt will be amazed to see that Nigeria has got running machines in human form”.

When our journalist spoke to one of the road side hawkers, he said “I am ready to represent my fatherland in the Olympics, I am sure nobody can run as fast as I can. In fact one day I ran out of my house in my dream and I woke up in reality running on the road. It is in me and I Cannot wait to become a star”.

  CHINKO MEDICINE
PG 18+ (Reader's discretion advised)
Mr Akpors - a Nigerian tourist goes on a trip to China.
While in China, he was very segxwally promiscuous and
didn't use condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home, he awakes one
morning to find his penis covered with bright green
and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a consultant at
the National Hospital Abuja.
The doctor, never having seen anything like that
before, orders some tests and tells Mr Akpors to return
in two days for the results.
Akpors returns a couple of days later and the doctor
says:
"I've got bad news for you. You've contracted
Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of
here. We know very little about it".
Akpors looks a little perplexed and says:
"Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc".
The doctor answers:
"I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have
to amputate your penis".
Akpors screams in horror, "EWOOO!!! AMPU.... WETIN?!
I want a second opinion please doc".
The doctor replies:
"Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but
surgery is your only choice".
The next day, Akpors seeks out a Chinese doctor,
figuring that he'll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims:
"Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very lare disease".
Akpors says to the doctor:
"Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do?
My doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis?"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs:
"Stupid docta, always want to opelate. Make more
money, that way. No need to opelate!"
"Oh, Thank God!", Akpors replies in relief.
"Yes", says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait
another couple of weeks. Penis fall off by itself!"
Akpors fainted!

  A man was making LOVE to a
village girl she she suddenly
realized he was not using a
condom. she asked him;
Are you not using condom? the man
answered yes, and the girl asked; hope you
don't have HIV/AIDs? the man
responded NO.
The Girl then said thank God
i don't want to get that
thing againooo…
the man Fainted.

  One day, a rabbit was running around the forest
happily when he saw a
giraffe smoking marijuana
"Hey" he said to the giraffe "why do you do this to
yourself my friend?,
just run around the forest with me, and you'll feel
happier"
The giraffe thought about this, left the smoke and
started running with
the rabbit.
After a while, they came across an elephant taking
heroin
"hey" said the rabbit to the elephant "why do you
destroy yourself with
drugs?, just run around the forest with me and you'll
definitely be
happier"
The elephant thought about this and left his drugs and
started running
around the forest with the rabbit.
After a while, they saw Mr Lion taking coke, a powerful
drug
"Hey" the rabbit said to the lion "why do you punish
yourself so?, just
run around the forest with me and you'll feel happier"
Then the lion left his drugs and started giving the
rabbit the beating of
his life.
"Hey" said the elephant to Mr Lion "This guy is only
trying to help us
from taking drugs, why are you beating him up?"
Then the lion said "Dont mind this idiot, thats how he
makes me run
around the forest with him whenever he's high"

  Akpos: MTN people are eating our money
too much.
Girlfriend: Yes the stealing is too much.
Akpos: I got an idea, instead of using
phone,
why don't we use a pigeon in sending
messages like the old time,
just tie your message to it's leg if you want
to reply.
Girlfriend: I like what is in your head.
After an hour of waiting, Akpos' girlfriend
saw the pigeon in the window,
she checked it's
leg's but nothing there, she sent it back, just
a few minutes it
comes back, she
quickly grabs it but to her disapointment no
message again, she
sent it back.
After some few minutes, she opened the
window for the pigeon to come in, she
checked it's legs but still no message.
With much anger, she headed to Akpos'
house and shouted
"Akpos come here, you idiot, you said you
will send message through this pigeon but
why
the three times it came to me, no message?.
Akpos: You don't get it...It's 3 missed calls
not message.

  Akpos the Pilot was transferring 100 mad men from a psychiatric hospital in Lagos to Abuja in a plane. wen they were halfway d journey in the air, the madmen started makin hell of noise that even people on land can hear them. Akpos told d Air hostess to calm dem down else there will b problem, she tried her best bt 2 no avail, d more she tried, d more d noise nd laffta. Akpos told her not 2 worry dat he will calm dem down himself. 5minutes later, Akpos came back 2 his seat n d lady was shocked due to the silence. Sir, ow did U du dat, she asked! OOOH, dat was simple, I only opened d passenger door n told dem to go and play outside.

Its a rubbish post ok, ow can a secondary skul student be 24years old