Baked beans

Date: 30-03-2009 1:07 pm (13 years ago) | Author: bob peter
[1] 2 3 4 ... 55
- at 30-03-2009 01:07 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.  When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.  Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.  On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.  All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: 'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.  He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill .  I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I let off three more.  The smell was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.  The pleasure was indescribable.  When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom,  I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.  He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 


Posted: at 30-03-2009 01:07 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
- iphie at 30-03-2009 01:42 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
photocopy
Posted: at 30-03-2009 01:42 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- omatseye at 30-03-2009 02:47 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: iphie on 30-03-2009 01:42 PM
photocopy
chie
Quote from: iphie on 30-03-2009 01:42 PM
photocopy

chie...
Posted: at 30-03-2009 02:47 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- emmymth at 30-03-2009 03:09 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
 chie,e too funny.I neva see am b4.No mind person wey sey photocopy.Na 9ice song she wan sing?

Posted: at 30-03-2009 03:09 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Gwhy at 30-03-2009 03:20 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Posted b4040(since my babe don talk say na photocopy)

Posted: at 30-03-2009 03:20 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- omatseye at 30-03-2009 03:43 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: emmymth on 30-03-2009 03:09 PM
chie,e too funny.I neva see am b4.No mind person wey sey photocopy.Na 9ice song she wan sing?

my guy,...eyoment....nothing do u
Posted: at 30-03-2009 03:43 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- omatseye at 30-03-2009 03:44 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Gwhy on 30-03-2009 03:20 PM
Posted b4040(since my babe don talk say na photocopy)
chie...
Posted: at 30-03-2009 03:44 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Gwhy at 30-03-2009 05:34 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Chie
chie
chie

Posted: at 30-03-2009 05:34 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- federico at 30-03-2009 08:11 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
watim Gwhy,u match shit
Posted: at 30-03-2009 08:11 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Toks-E at 30-03-2009 08:53 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
....

Posted: at 30-03-2009 08:53 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- Emmanuel4christ at 31-03-2009 12:01 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
make una pele 4 here oooo..
Posted: at 31-03-2009 12:01 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- degreatest2 at 31-03-2009 12:07 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
omat, interpret this thing abeg?
Posted: at 31-03-2009 12:07 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- stripod102 at 31-03-2009 12:13 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Nice1
Posted: at 31-03-2009 12:13 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- degreatest2 at 31-03-2009 12:19 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: stripod102 on 31-03-2009 12:13 AM
Nice1
Nice 1? jesus wept!!!!!!
Posted: at 31-03-2009 12:19 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Toks-E at 31-03-2009 12:50 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: degreatest2 on 31-03-2009 12:19 AM
Quote from: stripod102 on 31-03-2009 12:13 AM
Nice1
Nice 1? jesus wept!!!!!!

haahahahahahahahaha

mehn u r so funny

Posted: at 31-03-2009 12:50 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- Gwhy at 31-03-2009 12:55 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Shesheshesheshesheshe

Posted: at 31-03-2009 12:55 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- omatseye at 31-03-2009 06:36 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Gwhy on 31-03-2009 12:55 AM
Shesheshesheshesheshe
wetin na?
Posted: at 31-03-2009 06:36 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- omatseye at 31-03-2009 06:37 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: stripod102 on 31-03-2009 12:13 AM
Nice1
stripod...where hav u been?
Posted: at 31-03-2009 06:37 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Gwhy at 31-03-2009 11:15 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: omatseye on 31-03-2009 06:36 AM
Quote from: Gwhy on 31-03-2009 12:55 AM
Shesheshesheshesheshe
wetin na?
na my own Nu laf pattern b dat na,
as i no b gay lik sm pple wey dey hehehehehe up n down.
So my own na sheshesheshesheshe!!!!

Posted: at 31-03-2009 11:15 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Gwhy at 31-03-2009 11:16 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: omatseye on 31-03-2009 06:36 AM
Quote from: Gwhy on 31-03-2009 12:55 AM
Shesheshesheshesheshe
wetin na?
na my own Nu laf pattern b dat na,
as i no b gay lik sm pple wey dey hehehehehe up n down.
So my own na sheshesheshesheshe!!!!

Posted: at 31-03-2009 11:16 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
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