I Barely Knew My Husband Before I Married Him; He Is Too Over Controlling, I Wa

I think your husband is like me 4 years ago, I'm a nice person but lack some patience and experience to manage my wife, presently married to my wife six year ago, she is English ( white) but I complain about everything , if she goes out, dress wise, general house cleaning I won't stop whining until I got fed up of everything. But my inward self told me to leave her to it, basically I let her off to do her own routine in her own way, time. To my surprise it works and we still together and we had three kids together, I think if you call him and have a crisis talk, it's a good start but if there is no changes, try to ignore him for some time, I think he will change.
In light of everything , I think your husband will mature into full good loving, caring husband eventually, it's just matter of patience .

Posted: at 21-06-2013 02:02 PM (11 years ago) | Newbie

You very welcome . Thanks

Posted: at 21-06-2013 02:22 PM (11 years ago) | Newbie

Hmmm I think u should go and get a job first... Okay.. Marriage is for better and for worse until death do u both apart... That was the vow u made .. So I won't advice u to walk out of your marriage.... Go and find a job ... A woman without a job will not get respect from her hubby... Everything is am on him... So he have to control u

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Posted: at 21-06-2013 03:56 PM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero

Well, here is some additional tips:
The deed has been done now, is to carefully profound solution
The Most Important Time to Hold our Temper is...
When the Other Person Has Lost It. After the intensity of the fire has greatly reduce then, we can reason with them.
There could be so many reasons for his odd behavior, track them down and work towards them.
His own reasons and yours are vastly different from each other. In this case, look out for some of your rules you need to bend because you are trying to win his happiness and I am sure that he will be happy if you acknowledge him as the head.
And most especially try to make sure that the communication flows.
The secret of health for both mind and body is...
Not to mourn for the past,
Not to worry about the future,
Nor to anticipate troubles....
...But to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly!
Never compare your love story with those in the movies, because they are written by scriptwriters. Yours is written by God.
Don't wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect. If not, it will be all screwed up.

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Posted: at 21-06-2013 04:41 PM (11 years ago) | Hero

 

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Posted: at 25-06-2013 09:27 AM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero

Woman: it doesnt mata how long u knew ur man bfor u marry him...but first of all GO GET A JOB ( i  wonder why most married women choose not to get somtin doing) secondly, you need to work on yourself first bfore you start laying accusations on your husband.. bfore he started naggigging u must have had some habbits he doesnt seem to be liking ...u talked about him nagging//complaining abt the dishes.. why wont he complain abt the dishes(ofcoursce he is supposed to assist in d kitchen..but u aint working, so .. if you dont wash them .. soon rats and cockroaches will becom permanent visitors in your home.....on the aspect of his listening to ppl outside ur home.. its very bad.. for me i dont think your husband is controlling...hear urself well.. u said ***u r not used to ppl disrespecting u*** are u domineering urself? **just asking* cos that phrase sounds funny to me..  u see.. marriage has its ups and downs.. couples who live happily evr after still quarell, dey fight, dey argue, dey tolerate, if faults are not found in a marriage relationship.. how then can dos faults be repaired and then the marriage be alive again?

Many marriages suffer because spouses are holding on to past mistakes, past failures, past disappointments, past heartbreaks, past rejections & past relationships. You cannot revisit the past & undo the hurtful wrong that happened. You cannot unwind the hands of time. You cannot erase the scars. But you can choose to forgive, trust God & move on. No marriage can ever see a better future without letting go of the past. Every marriage has some degree of regrettable past. But the successfully married practice daily forgiveness on the altar of prayer. Don’t build a monument of your spouse’s past sin in your heart & when you’re wrong don’t be too proud to apologize. Give your marriage a new breath of life. Today; let-go & forgive your spouse for everything in the past. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32. Yes, You can do it.

a little tips from me to u and every other unhappy couple reading this::::

1. Look on the bright side always try to be as positive and optimistic as you can be. A spouse's positive attitude leads to positive behaviors and a more satisfying relationship. Marriage and happiness will go hand-in-hand for you.
2. Talk often and be honest with your spouse don't play communication games.
3. If you think of yourself as being superior to your spouse, better get some help for your marriage. A perceived sense of superiority can trash a relationship fast!
4. Take time to have fun and be kids again remain youthful and avoid taking yourselves too seriously!
5. If you have an argument or melt-down, repair the problem quickly be quick to understand, forgive and forget.
6. Be responsible for your own happiness and avoid blaming your spouse for your problems or unhappiness.
7. Learn to respond effectively to your spouse when you feel he/she is making you unhappy or upset. Avoid responses that will worsen the situation.
8. Give big problems or serious issues time to heal.
9. Avoid forcing changes upon your partner. Offer support and inspiration, but trust him/her to make needed changes. Don't nag or pressure your spouse, and watch your marriage and happiness grow together!
10. Put your best foot forward remember to strive to be your best every single day. Make sure you don't stop being polite and sensitive just because you got married. Don't stop listening. Don't start being a slob or acting like a lazy bum! Treat your spouse like the special person he/she really is . . . and don't stop, ever!

On the other hand.. if you dont feel like Staying anymore.. TAKE A WALK.. Ur happiness matters alot to you..
Be watchful.. Takia of the Kids.. With Love from #sophiebaby#  

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Posted: at 25-06-2013 10:04 AM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero

 

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Posted: at 25-06-2013 03:13 PM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero

God go see you thru

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Posted: at 21-01-2014 07:00 AM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero

I would have showed you how a good husband behaves, but sorry you be AFTER ONE

Posted: at 22-01-2014 09:34 AM (11 years ago) | Upcoming

I think arriving at the conclusion that someone is "good" because he or she is "a good Christian and prayerful" is not a valid reason to want to marry that person!

We have all based our love for something on what our eyes see - and for some it has led to happiness however for others it has not.

Do not give up - he most probably is only showing you what he learnt from his own upbringing - his father being the "boss" of the house and his mother the "obedient" wife

He just needs someone to let him know that ruling his household like a company boss is not the answer to proving to you or himself that he is a man.

Showing love, happiness, joy and peace to your wife (or husband if you are a woman) does NOT make you weak - whatever other people say.

Good luck.

Posted: at 22-01-2014 09:58 AM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac