Graduate Girls and Eleventh Hour Marriage! Why? (Page 8)

   I'm not trying to preach or do anything or that sort. I was just stating the obvious. Women like to be pampered by their men, but they don't want to return the favor by pampering their men. I try to live and see my life in a Godly way. It is required that men LOVE their wives and Women should RESPECT their husbands. Also, maybe you do not know that God gave husbands the power to either Bless or Curse their wives. My point here is that most educated women think that doing things for the husbands are demeaning. For example making breakfast and serving him before he goes to work, OR cleaning up the house, Or even cooking dinner for the family after a day of work. Because you are educated shouldn't take away the responsibilities you have as a wife, (and please do not give me that excuse of why can't the man help in cooking or doing laundary or cleaning up the house) because I know that when your car breaks down or when the sink starts leaking or when it is time to cut the lawn, it is the man that is called upon to do these things. I feel sorry for the lady saying "she put her husband in his place." I hope that very soon he will put her in her place which is out in the streets.

   I'm not trying to preach or do anything or that sort. I was just stating the obvious. Women like to be pampered by their men, but they don't want to return the favor by pampering their men. I try to live and see my life in a Godly way. It is required that men LOVE their wives and Women should RESPECT their husbands. Also, maybe you do not know that God gave husbands the power to either Bless or Curse their wives. My point here is that most educated women think that doing things for the husbands are demeaning. For example making breakfast and serving him before he goes to work, OR cleaning up the house, Or even cooking dinner for the family after a day of work. Because you are educated shouldn't take away the responsibilities you have as a wife, (and please do not give me that excuse of why can't the man help in cooking or doing laundary or cleaning up the house) because I know that when your car breaks down or when the sink starts leaking or when it is time to cut the lawn, it is the man that is called upon to do these things. I feel sorry for the lady saying "she put her husband in his place." I hope that very soon he will put her in her place which is out in the streets.

Can someone tell me at what age marriage could be termed "late"?.
I wouldn`t know why everyone seems to agree with this argument. I see it quit differently.
 
 Well the truth is this... Marriage has nothing to do with AGE, But if you get into a marriage with the intentions of having Kids(DuuuH!!), that's when the Age thing comes in.

An unofficial research report shows that over 35% Nigerian ladies graduate from tertiary institutions married, while about 41% graduate with engagement rings on their fingers. About 5% of the later breaks up after graduation.
That means that over 70% of our ladies marry before or shortly after graduation and doesn`t necessarily mean that the rest (less than 30%) remains unmarried until old age.

   I do not see your point here as this research report could be accurate, it doesn't give the ages of these so called married/engaged women. There are alot of women in their 30's that are still university students whether engaged or not. And mind you, being engaged doesn't mean you are married. So, with that being said, the report and your argument is disparative to the post.

I however agree that there`re ladies, who marry or would want to marry at late 30s & early 40s but they`r a very insignificant minority in Nigeria.

On the other hand, education opens a new version of wisdom and knowledge and therefore introduces a new lifestyle as a result of a new life perspective, behavioral change that matches the new life, and completely different sets of ideologies (the speedy reduction of family sizes among the middle class is evidential;one,two or three children as against 11, 12,13...).

The new lifestyle contradicts the traditional African cultural practices.
Women now understand themselves as "whole", (full human) with rights & respect, independent entities and no more mere kitchen servants & child production machines that answers --yes Sir-- to every erection without love making.

   Again, as much I agree with you on this, I still think that your point is very weak. Education opening a new version of wisdom and knowledge has no correlation to marriage. I'm not exactly sure how not being married is wisdom and/or knowledge. If you are a Christian, you will know that the only reason a man or woman may choose to be unmarried is if they decide to serve God the rest of their lives(being a Rev. Father/Sister or something similar). The same new lifestyle you speak of teaches our young girls that staying and working out your marriage problems with your spouse is never a way to handle a shaky marriage. Now the only way is to get a divorce.

Again, bearing in mind that there`re more educated women than men in the present day Nigeria, most women find it very difficult to adjust back to the world of uneducated men in marriage due to the shortage of educated men, after haven been introduced to a completely new world.
The fear of misunderstanding of ideas, unnecessary arguments,  wrong interpretation of lifestyle, wrong & irresponsible presentation of oneself in the public, unlit future full of ordinarily avoidable uncertainties that might not be avoided due to ignorant partner etc., force some women to chose satisfying themselves & utilizing their freedom before venturing into such marriages.

    Education and Marriage has nothing in common. Marriage entered into by two non-educated (university) couples last longer than that of the so-called one Educated, one non educated couple especially if the woman is the educated one. Permit me if I say that Education(School) doesn't necessarily mean Wisdom. One could be an Educated Dummie you know. And you'll be surprised that there are alot of UnEducated wizards.

Ascribing it to the hope of abroad based Nigerian guys is a misunderstanding that emanates out of ignorance attached to the believe "I know" due to a few cases of such.
And even if that could be true, then the guys must have known the lifestyle the ladies seek for and not just for the sake of being abroad or being financially buoyant.

Permit me to ask: must a lady marry? must she marry early? must she even marry a Nigerian based...?
A change of attitude on the side of our beloved, honored, most cherished & celebrated Nigerian men `ll go a long way to correcting this "minority lifestyle" if that must be.


     Yes a lady must marry unless she has dedicated her life completely to serving God.Sorry it was my law.This is Biblical. The question of marrying earlier depends on if she really wants to bear children, but again it's hard to find a man that doesn't want children even if the lady do not want any kids. So that would be called SELFISH. A Nigerian woman doesn't have to marry a Nigerian based, but when the intentions are just to travel abroad and then leave your husband wifeless that is totally unacceptable and I would fight with everything I have to get that bitch deported back to Nigeria.