If you have ever found yourself always feeling sad around your birthday, you may be experiencing a birthday depression, also known as birthday blues, says Dedoyin Ajayi, a licensed psychotherapist in Nigeria.
Ms Ajayi, the co-founder of Mytherapist.ng, an app dedicated to helping people achieve mental wellbeing, shared on Twitter 10 signs that may indicate that one is experiencing birthday depression.
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1. You have persistent feelings of sadness, tiredness or a drastic mood swing a few days before, during and after your birthday.
2. You lack enthusiasm for anything remotely attached to your birthday.
3. You feel the urge to isolate yourself from everyone, including your very close friends and family members.
4. You are anxious about the future and feeling paranoid.
5. You find it difficult to fall asleep or wake up on your birthday.
6. You hate to see birthday wishes so you usually never tell people it is your birthday
7. You find yourself thinking of the past and all the things you have not been able to achieve
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8. You are crying a lot.
9. Poorer concentration.
10. You have suicide ideations.
Ms Ajayi said birthday depression is caused by unachieved goals, fear of getting old and other factors.
She listed the three other factors as follows:
1. Something traumatising may have happened around or on your birthday (example death of someone special, segxwal assault, loss of a huge/life changing opportunity, a life-altering accident etc.).
2. Horrible birthday experiences during childhood.
3. Loneliness (no partner, empty nest syndrome).
Here is how birthday depression can be managed by those experiencing it, according to her.
1. Make peace with your unmet expectations.
If you are unmarried, do not yet have a child or feeling underemployed, your birthday might be a sore reminder that “you’re running out of time”. Acknowledge and address those feelings.
2. Keep a journal of all your achievements and list them on your birthday.
No matter how small or inconsequential, write them down. The mind has a way of tricking us into feeling our lives are worthless by magnifying our inadequacies and diminishing our achievements.
3. Instead of ignoring your birthday, do something that feels right to you and your personality.
You can choose not to do photo shoots and all those glitzy stuff; it could be a solo date/picnic, or donating to charity.
4. Seek therapy.
Heal from that trauma, get help for that crippling fear of getting old, and address those feelings of low self-esteem.
In therapy, you would also learn to live in the moment and treat yourself with more compassion.
2. You lack enthusiasm for anything remotely attached to your birthday.
3. You feel the urge to isolate yourself from everyone, including your very close friends and family members.
4. You are anxious about the future and feeling paranoid.
5. You find it difficult to fall asleep or wake up on your birthday.
6. You hate to see birthday wishes so you usually never tell people it is your birthday
7. You find yourself thinking of the past and all the things you have not been able to achieve
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8. You are crying a lot.
9. Poorer concentration.
10. You have suicide ideations.
Ms Ajayi said birthday depression is caused by unachieved goals, fear of getting old and other factors.
She listed the three other factors as follows:
1. Something traumatising may have happened around or on your birthday (example death of someone special, segxwal assault, loss of a huge/life changing opportunity, a life-altering accident etc.).
2. Horrible birthday experiences during childhood.
3. Loneliness (no partner, empty nest syndrome).
Here is how birthday depression can be managed by those experiencing it, according to her.
1. Make peace with your unmet expectations.
If you are unmarried, do not yet have a child or feeling underemployed, your birthday might be a sore reminder that “you’re running out of time”. Acknowledge and address those feelings.
2. Keep a journal of all your achievements and list them on your birthday.
No matter how small or inconsequential, write them down. The mind has a way of tricking us into feeling our lives are worthless by magnifying our inadequacies and diminishing our achievements.
3. Instead of ignoring your birthday, do something that feels right to you and your personality.
You can choose not to do photo shoots and all those glitzy stuff; it could be a solo date/picnic, or donating to charity.
4. Seek therapy.
Heal from that trauma, get help for that crippling fear of getting old, and address those feelings of low self-esteem.
In therapy, you would also learn to live in the moment and treat yourself with more compassion.
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