Dearest brothers and sisters, I am sending you our mother's remains for burial in Lagos . Sorry I could not come along, as the expenses were so high. You will find inside the coffin, under Mama's body, 12 cans of Libby's corned beef and12 cans of Luncheon Meat. Just divide it amongst yourselves. On Mama's feet is a brand-new pair of Reeboks (size for Junior. There are four pairs of Reebok under Mama's head for Tunde's sons. Mama is wearing six Ralph Lauren T-shirts - one is for OMO, Roy and the rest are for my nephews. Mama is also wearing one dozen Wonder Bras (your favorite), just divide them among yourselves. The 2 dozen Victoria 's Secret panties that Mama is wearing should be distributed among my nieces and cousins. Mama is also wearing eight Dockers pants - Ikeje, please get one for yourself and the rest are for the boys. The Swiss watch you asked for, is on Mama's left wrist, please get it. Aunty Funmi, Mama is wearing what you asked for - earrings, rings and a necklace; please take them also, the six pairs of Chanel stockings that Mama is wearing must be divided among the teen-age girls there. I hope they like the colors. I believe you can arrange for a dress for mama before burial. In case you need anything that I may have forgotten, please let me know as UNCLE IS NOT FEELING TOO WELL!!!
Your loving sister.

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