In every relationship (good or bad one) we have arguements. As matured people we should be ready to take the test and solve the problem, but what happens if your bf/gf/wife/hubby insult u everytime when u are arguing about something? Maybe u can solve the problem but u can not forget about all those ugly words u heard.
How do u handle this person? What would u do in this situation? Thx in advance
Posted: at 3-04-2011 06:25 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
superdiva at 3-04-2011 06:35 PM (14 years ago) (f)
put an AK47 to his chest and pull d trigger. Lol.
Posted: at 3-04-2011 06:35 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
bittersweet at 3-04-2011 06:46 PM (14 years ago) (f)
That's verbal abuse and it's a misguided attempt by an insecure & manipulative spouse to exercise control & establish dominance in a relationship.By intimidating u,nullifying ur every objection or request,and insulting u, ur spouse feels that he or she can maintain authority over u and ur relationship.He/she torments u with mind games and name-calling,and then demands an apology from u. In a couple, partners are supposed to love & respect one another! It is never acceptable for one to carry all the weight in a relationship & treat his or her partner like a slave. Don't accept repression & cruelty as a part of relationship/marriage!
Take a look inward and carefully examine why & how u allowed ur spouse's verbal abuse to control u. While u certainly needn't take responsibility for ur spouse's repressive and malicious behavior, it's helpful to consider d reasons behind ur submission to such unjustifiable treatment. Maybe u cling to ur spouse for fear of abandonment.Whatever d reason,u must initiate ur own healing process.Open yourself to ur fears - and confront them.
The next step is to face ur partner.Describe d abuse exactly to him or her. If he/she becomes defensive & angry, gently tell him/her that this is d type of behavior that's hurting u.Refuse to yield to his/her accusations & manipulations.
Tell ur partner that u'will no longer accept his/her degradation.Set and stick to specific consequences if ur partner verbally attacks u even after u've spoken to him/her about it.Make sure d punishment is not too severe or too lenient.Don't expect ur spouse's abusive behavior to simply end, but allow time for ur partner to accept what has happened & forgive him/ herself.
Throughout d process,remind urself that u have done d right thing for u and for ur partner.
Live and let live!
Posted: at 3-04-2011 06:46 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
FlyMamacita at 3-04-2011 06:51 PM (14 years ago) (f)
Quote from: bittersweet on 3-04-2011 06:46 PM
That's verbal abuse and it's a misguided attempt by an insecure & manipulative spouse to exercise control & establish dominance in a relationship.By intimidating u,nullifying ur every objection or request,and insulting u, ur spouse feels that he or she can maintain authority over u and ur relationship.He/she torments u with mind games and name-calling,and then demands an apology from u. In a couple, partners are supposed to love & respect one another! It is never acceptable for one to carry all the weight in a relationship & treat his or her partner like a slave. Don't accept repression & cruelty as a part of relationship/marriage!
Take a look inward and carefully examine why & how u allowed ur spouse's verbal abuse to control u. While u certainly needn't take responsibility for ur spouse's repressive and malicious behavior, it's helpful to consider d reasons behind ur submission to such unjustifiable treatment. Maybe u cling to ur spouse for fear of abandonment.Whatever d reason,u must initiate ur own healing process.Open yourself to ur fears - and confront them.
The next step is to face ur partner.Describe d abuse exactly to him or her. If he/she becomes defensive & angry, gently tell him/her that this is d type of behavior that's hurting u.Refuse to yield to his/her accusations & manipulations.
Tell ur partner that u'will no longer accept his/her degradation.Set and stick to specific consequences if ur partner verbally attacks u even after u've spoken to him/her about it.Make sure d punishment is not too severe or too lenient.Don't expect ur spouse's abusive behavior to simply end, but allow time for ur partner to accept what has happened & forgive him/ herself.
Throughout d process,remind urself that u have done d right thing for u and for ur partner.
BS my dear u are too much! This is so helpful!
For the one in pink,, how do u do tht?
Posted: at 3-04-2011 06:51 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
bittersweet at 3-04-2011 07:01 PM (14 years ago) (f)
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 3-04-2011 06:51 PM
Quote from: bittersweet on 3-04-2011 06:46 PM
That's verbal abuse and it's a misguided attempt by an insecure & manipulative spouse to exercise control & establish dominance in a relationship.By intimidating u,nullifying ur every objection or request,and insulting u, ur spouse feels that he or she can maintain authority over u and ur relationship.He/she torments u with mind games and name-calling,and then demands an apology from u. In a couple, partners are supposed to love & respect one another! It is never acceptable for one to carry all the weight in a relationship & treat his or her partner like a slave. Don't accept repression & cruelty as a part of relationship/marriage!
Take a look inward and carefully examine why & how u allowed ur spouse's verbal abuse to control u. While u certainly needn't take responsibility for ur spouse's repressive and malicious behavior, it's helpful to consider d reasons behind ur submission to such unjustifiable treatment. Maybe u cling to ur spouse for fear of abandonment.Whatever d reason,u must initiate ur own healing process.Open yourself to ur fears - and confront them.
The next step is to face ur partner.Describe d abuse exactly to him or her. If he/she becomes defensive & angry, gently tell him/her that this is d type of behavior that's hurting u.Refuse to yield to his/her accusations & manipulations.
Tell ur partner that u'will no longer accept his/her degradation.Set and stick to specific consequences if ur partner verbally attacks u even after u've spoken to him/her about it.Make sure d punishment is not too severe or too lenient.Don't expect ur spouse's abusive behavior to simply end, but allow time for ur partner to accept what has happened & forgive him/ herself.
Throughout d process,remind urself that u have done d right thing for u and for ur partner.
BS my dear u are too much! This is so helpful!
For the one in pink,, how do u do tht?
First recognize your fears,I mean why u accepted that treatment till now! One word:Courage!
Live and let live!
Posted: at 3-04-2011 07:01 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
That's verbal abuse and it's a misguided attempt by an insecure & manipulative spouse to exercise control & establish dominance in a relationship.By intimidating u,nullifying ur every objection or request,and insulting u, ur spouse feels that he or she can maintain authority over u and ur relationship.He/she torments u with mind games and name-calling,and then demands an apology from u. In a couple, partners are supposed to love & respect one another! It is never acceptable for one to carry all the weight in a relationship & treat his or her partner like a slave. Don't accept repression & cruelty as a part of relationship/marriage!
Take a look inward and carefully examine why & how u allowed ur spouse's verbal abuse to control u. While u certainly needn't take responsibility for ur spouse's repressive and malicious behavior, it's helpful to consider d reasons behind ur submission to such unjustifiable treatment. Maybe u cling to ur spouse for fear of abandonment.Whatever d reason,u must initiate ur own healing process.Open yourself to ur fears - and confront them.
The next step is to face ur partner.Describe d abuse exactly to him or her. If he/she becomes defensive & angry, gently tell him/her that this is d type of behavior that's hurting u.Refuse to yield to his/her accusations & manipulations.
Tell ur partner that u'will no longer accept his/her degradation.Set and stick to specific consequences if ur partner verbally attacks u even after u've spoken to him/her about it.Make sure d punishment is not too severe or too lenient.Don't expect ur spouse's abusive behavior to simply end, but allow time for ur partner to accept what has happened & forgive him/ herself.
Throughout d process,remind urself that u have done d right thing for u and for ur partner.
i can see that mamacita has waking u up on your field
Posted: at 3-04-2011 07:12 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
In every relationship (good or bad one) we have arguements. As matured people we should be ready to take the test and solve the problem, but what happens if your bf/gf/wife/hubby insult u everytime when u are arguing about something? Maybe u can solve the problem but u can not forget about all those ugly words u heard.
How do u handle this person? What would u do in this situation? Thx in advance
People always React impulsively to such Matters, unless yu've Learned some Self-control
Learn Self-Control tactics in Advance and teach it to yur Partner too... Dat's the way l think it can be Handled
WHEN YU DIE YU TAKE NOTHING WITH YU, SO PLS PUT A SMILE ON YUR NEIGHBOR'S FACE
Posted: at 3-04-2011 07:16 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
FlyMamacita at 3-04-2011 07:17 PM (14 years ago) (f)
Quote from: bittersweet on 3-04-2011 07:01 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 3-04-2011 06:51 PM
Quote from: bittersweet on 3-04-2011 06:46 PM
That's verbal abuse and it's a misguided attempt by an insecure & manipulative spouse to exercise control & establish dominance in a relationship.By intimidating u,nullifying ur every objection or request,and insulting u, ur spouse feels that he or she can maintain authority over u and ur relationship.He/she torments u with mind games and name-calling,and then demands an apology from u. In a couple, partners are supposed to love & respect one another! It is never acceptable for one to carry all the weight in a relationship & treat his or her partner like a slave. Don't accept repression & cruelty as a part of relationship/marriage!
Take a look inward and carefully examine why & how u allowed ur spouse's verbal abuse to control u. While u certainly needn't take responsibility for ur spouse's repressive and malicious behavior, it's helpful to consider d reasons behind ur submission to such unjustifiable treatment. Maybe u cling to ur spouse for fear of abandonment.Whatever d reason,u must initiate ur own healing process.Open yourself to ur fears - and confront them.
The next step is to face ur partner.Describe d abuse exactly to him or her. If he/she becomes defensive & angry, gently tell him/her that this is d type of behavior that's hurting u.Refuse to yield to his/her accusations & manipulations.
Tell ur partner that u'will no longer accept his/her degradation.Set and stick to specific consequences if ur partner verbally attacks u even after u've spoken to him/her about it.Make sure d punishment is not too severe or too lenient.Don't expect ur spouse's abusive behavior to simply end, but allow time for ur partner to accept what has happened & forgive him/ herself.
Throughout d process,remind urself that u have done d right thing for u and for ur partner.
BS my dear u are too much! This is so helpful!
For the one in pink,, how do u do tht?
First recognize your fears,I mean why u accepted that treatment till now! One word:Courage!
Recognize ur fears u say,, how do u dig so deep in urself?
Posted: at 3-04-2011 07:17 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
In every relationship (good or bad one) we have arguements. As matured people we should be ready to take the test and solve the problem, but what happens if your bf/gf/wife/hubby insult u everytime when u are arguing about something? Maybe u can solve the problem but u can not forget about all those ugly words u heard.
How do u handle this person? What would u do in this situation? Thx in advance
Then stop arguing alot to save you all the ugly words, some people can't even stand the argue for a minute.. Personally if my lady argues with me all the time like you mention here, there is no need for us to continue in that relationship, because i hate, i mean HATE !! Nagging person, Why should it be a daily or routine thing in a relationship, Can't two love birds agree on something once and have same vision and goal towards things without allowing the walls to hear their voice.
DirtyKid is a Happy Kid !!.....FATHER !! I've cast my bread on the waters long time ago. Now it's time 4u to return it, well buttered !!
Posted: at 3-04-2011 07:17 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
FlyMamacita at 3-04-2011 07:19 PM (14 years ago) (f)
Quote from: Kennee on 3-04-2011 07:16 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 3-04-2011 06:25 PM
In every relationship (good or bad one) we have arguements. As matured people we should be ready to take the test and solve the problem, but what happens if your bf/gf/wife/hubby insult u everytime when u are arguing about something? Maybe u can solve the problem but u can not forget about all those ugly words u heard.
How do u handle this person? What would u do in this situation? Thx in advance
People always React impulsively to such Matters, unless yu've Learned some Self-control
Learn Self-Control tactics in Advance and teach it to yur Partner too... Dat's the way l think it can be Handled
Hmmmm nice one Kennee. Do u have any ideas on those self control tactics?
Posted: at 3-04-2011 07:19 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Be calm and always do the listening more, even when his words seems silly and stupid to u, apply sense wth your talk in a low tone when is time to approach the matter !! Self control tactics mode activated clue !!
DirtyKid is a Happy Kid !!.....FATHER !! I've cast my bread on the waters long time ago. Now it's time 4u to return it, well buttered !!
Posted: at 3-04-2011 07:23 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
FlyMamacita at 3-04-2011 07:30 PM (14 years ago) (f)
Quote from: dirtykid on 3-04-2011 07:17 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 3-04-2011 06:25 PM
In every relationship (good or bad one) we have arguements. As matured people we should be ready to take the test and solve the problem, but what happens if your bf/gf/wife/hubby insult u everytime when u are arguing about something? Maybe u can solve the problem but u can not forget about all those ugly words u heard.
How do u handle this person? What would u do in this situation? Thx in advance
Then stop arguing alot to save you all the ugly words, some people can't even stand the argue for a minute.. Personally if my lady argues with me all the time like you mention here, there is no need for us to continue in that relationship, because i hate, i mean HATE !! Nagging person, Why should it be a daily or routine thing in a relationship, Can't two love birds agree on something once and have same vision and goal towards things without allowing the walls to hear their voice.
I said everybody has arguement once in a while (not daily), and even if u hate a nagging woman does dat mean u can insult her? Of course not. It is not abt nagging now it is abt d insults
Posted: at 3-04-2011 07:30 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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