Insults! (Page 3)

Date: 03-04-2011 6:25 pm (13 years ago) | Author: katrien
1 2 [3] 4 5 6 ... 11
- brendivas at 3-04-2011 10:59 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: FlyMamacita on  3-04-2011 06:52 PM
Quote from: teebaz990 on  3-04-2011 06:39 PM
For me i will take it like a man and pretend that it doesn't happen, while i will look for a peaceful way to make her understand and stop it
wot if she is not ready to listen frm d first time and it happens again ?


It means the relationship is not working. Put an end to it.
Posted: at 3-04-2011 10:59 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- ceejay58 at 3-04-2011 11:17 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: nickki on  3-04-2011 09:34 PM
Quote from: superdiva on  3-04-2011 06:35 PM
put an AK47 to his chest and pull d trigger. Lol.
mhh dat will be too fast. d best thing is to make him feel u have forgiven him & wait till dinner time, mix some OTAPIAPIA in his food. trust me his life will never remain the same..........HE IS A GONER

 Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
na waa ooo..lol
Posted: at 3-04-2011 11:17 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- ceejay58 at 4-04-2011 12:09 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
But seriously it's only an insensitive and immature person who 'll always want to insult his/her partner at the slightest of any provocation.    when u love someone all u ought to care about should be the person's happiness.. u ought to respect their feelings.. and even when there is an argument or quarrel between them one has to be careful concerning one's choice of words...

Now in the case of the poster i ask.... have u find time (i mean when he's in good mode) to discuss this issues with him and try to make him realize how deeply his insulting words hurts u? and what were his reactions?

If he still carry on after u ve both talked about it without given any tot about ur feelings then just be sincere with urself and tell urself the truth... such a r/ship is heading for the rocks... perhaps he feels that maybe the only way to tell u he's had enough..

but if u think u can continue to take in all that as a submissive partner well, God help u...   but never u retaliate or counter him with hot and abusive words in the hit of the argument.. cos that can be very very unpleasant. esp when u know u don't stand a chance with him in case fight ensue. 
Posted: at 4-04-2011 12:09 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Ajento at 4-04-2011 03:56 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Verbal insults hurts and lasts more than physical abuse, it should not be tolerated.
Posted: at 4-04-2011 03:56 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- bittersweet at 4-04-2011 08:57 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Ajento on  4-04-2011 03:56 AM
Verbal insults hurts and lasts more than physical abuse, it should not be tolerated.

Correct!

Posted: at 4-04-2011 08:57 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- ajanni at 4-04-2011 09:19 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: FlyMamacita on  3-04-2011 06:25 PM
In every relationship (good or bad one) we have arguements.
As matured people we should be ready to take the test and solve the problem, but
what happens if your bf/gf/wife/hubby insult u everytime when u are arguing about something?
Maybe u can solve the problem but u can not forget about all those ugly words u heard.

How do u handle this person? What would u do in this situation? Thx in advance  Wink


let him/her knows that you are not very comfortable with such an insults and recklessness
Posted: at 4-04-2011 09:19 AM (13 years ago) | Grande Master
Reply
- kebella at 4-04-2011 09:35 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: bittersweet on  3-04-2011 06:46 PM
That's verbal abuse and it's a misguided attempt by an insecure & manipulative spouse to exercise control & establish dominance in a relationship.By intimidating u,nullifying ur every objection or request,and insulting u, ur spouse feels that he or she can maintain authority over u and ur relationship.He/she torments u with mind games and name-calling,and then demands an apology from u. In a couple, partners are supposed to love & respect one another! It is never acceptable for one  to carry all the weight in a relationship & treat his or her partner like a slave.
 Don't accept repression & cruelty as a part of relationship/marriage!

Take a look inward and carefully examine why & how u allowed ur spouse's verbal abuse to control u. While u certainly needn't take responsibility for ur spouse's repressive and malicious behavior, it's helpful to consider d reasons behind ur submission to such unjustifiable treatment.
Maybe u cling to ur spouse for fear of abandonment.Whatever d reason,u must initiate ur own healing process.Open yourself to ur  fears - and confront them.

The next step is to face ur partner.Describe d abuse exactly to him or her. If he/she becomes defensive & angry, gently tell him/her that this is d type of behavior that's hurting u.Refuse to yield to his/her accusations & manipulations.

Tell ur partner that u'will no longer accept his/her degradation.Set and stick to specific consequences if ur partner verbally attacks u even after u've spoken to him/her about it.Make sure d punishment is not too severe or too lenient.Don't expect ur spouse's abusive behavior to simply end, but allow time for ur partner to accept what has happened & forgive him/ herself.

Throughout d process,remind urself that u have done d right thing for u and for ur partner.


she got yu right there Grin Grin Grin Grin

Posted: at 4-04-2011 09:35 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- yukicares4u at 4-04-2011 09:51 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Sometimes its better 4 one of  the couple 2 walk away frm the scene...instead of stayin and claiming rights wit the other...one has 2 step down for the other...thr cant be 2 captains in one ship...when arguement arises smtimes its beta to kip mute! Roll Eyes
Posted: at 4-04-2011 09:51 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- kebella at 4-04-2011 09:54 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
 Cool

Posted: at 4-04-2011 09:54 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- MissyBarbie at 4-04-2011 11:32 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Ajento on  4-04-2011 03:56 AM
Verbal insults hurts and lasts more than physical abuse, it should not be tolerated.

Gbam!
Posted: at 4-04-2011 11:32 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- blessedme at 4-04-2011 11:37 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
personally i hate insult...
i want to learn too
Posted: at 4-04-2011 11:37 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- bittersweet at 4-04-2011 11:38 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: kebella on  4-04-2011 09:35 AM
Quote from: bittersweet on  3-04-2011 06:46 PM
That's verbal abuse and it's a misguided attempt by an insecure & manipulative spouse to exercise control & establish dominance in a relationship.By intimidating u,nullifying ur every objection or request,and insulting u, ur spouse feels that he or she can maintain authority over u and ur relationship.He/she torments u with mind games and name-calling,and then demands an apology from u. In a couple, partners are supposed to love & respect one another! It is never acceptable for one  to carry all the weight in a relationship & treat his or her partner like a slave.
 Don't accept repression & cruelty as a part of relationship/marriage!

Take a look inward and carefully examine why & how u allowed ur spouse's verbal abuse to control u. While u certainly needn't take responsibility for ur spouse's repressive and malicious behavior, it's helpful to consider d reasons behind ur submission to such unjustifiable treatment.
Maybe u cling to ur spouse for fear of abandonment.Whatever d reason,u must initiate ur own healing process.Open yourself to ur  fears - and confront them.

The next step is to face ur partner.Describe d abuse exactly to him or her. If he/she becomes defensive & angry, gently tell him/her that this is d type of behavior that's hurting u.Refuse to yield to his/her accusations & manipulations.

Tell ur partner that u'will no longer accept his/her degradation.Set and stick to specific consequences if ur partner verbally attacks u even after u've spoken to him/her about it.Make sure d punishment is not too severe or too lenient.Don't expect ur spouse's abusive behavior to simply end, but allow time for ur partner to accept what has happened & forgive him/ herself.

Throughout d process,remind urself that u have done d right thing for u and for ur partner.



she got yu right there Grin Grin Grin Grin



Posted: at 4-04-2011 11:38 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- truenaija2 at 4-04-2011 11:40 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
just tell the person it makes me sad when u throw insults at me , i would be very glad f we can have agruements without insults , the person doesnt read your mind so he might not know how you feel or its an habit and he doesnt know its bad, communication does the magic
Posted: at 4-04-2011 11:40 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- truenaija2 at 4-04-2011 11:41 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: ajanni on  4-04-2011 09:19 AM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on  3-04-2011 06:25 PM
In every relationship (good or bad one) we have arguements.
As matured people we should be ready to take the test and solve the problem, but
what happens if your bf/gf/wife/hubby insult u everytime when u are arguing about something?
Maybe u can solve the problem but u can not forget about all those ugly words u heard.

How do u handle this person? What would u do in this situation? Thx in advance  Wink


let him/her knows that you are not very comfortable with such an insults and recklessness

exactly
Posted: at 4-04-2011 11:41 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- truenaija2 at 4-04-2011 11:43 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Kennee on  3-04-2011 07:16 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on  3-04-2011 06:25 PM
In every relationship (good or bad one) we have arguements.
As matured people we should be ready to take the test and solve the problem, but
what happens if your bf/gf/wife/hubby insult u everytime when u are arguing about something?
Maybe u can solve the problem but u can not forget about all those ugly words u heard.

How do u handle this person? What would u do in this situation? Thx in advance  Wink


People always React impulsively to such Matters, unless yu've Learned some Self-control

Learn Self-Control tactics in Advance and teach it to yur Partner too... Dat's the way l think it can be Handled

exactly
Posted: at 4-04-2011 11:43 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- FlyMamacita at 4-04-2011 12:23 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: ceejay58 on  4-04-2011 12:09 AM
But seriously it's only an insensitive and immature person who 'll always want to insult his/her partner at the slightest of any provocation.    when u love someone all u ought to care about should be the person's happiness.. u ought to respect their feelings.. and even when there is an argument or quarrel between them one has to be careful concerning one's choice of words...

Now in the case of the poster i ask.... have u find time (i mean when he's in good mode) to discuss this issues with him and try to make him realize how deeply his insulting words hurts u? and what were his reactions?

If he still carry on after u ve both talked about it without given any tot about ur feelings then just be sincere with urself and tell urself the truth... such a r/ship is heading for the rocks... perhaps he feels that maybe the only way to tell u he's had enough..

but if u think u can continue to take in all that as a submissive partner well, God help u...   but never u retaliate or counter him with hot and abusive words in the hit of the argument.. cos that can be very very unpleasant. esp when u know u don't stand a chance with him in case fight ensue. 
Nice reply. But my dear its not for me...one of my best friends get dis problem.
She dont knw why her man always abuse her like dat, bcos after they settle d arguement she
can not forgt abt d insults....Its difficult bcos she rily luv dis man.

Posted: at 4-04-2011 12:23 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- FlyMamacita at 4-04-2011 12:25 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: yukicares4u on  4-04-2011 09:51 AM
Sometimes its better 4 one of  the couple 2 walk away frm the scene...instead of stayin and claiming rights wit the other...one has 2 step down for the other...thr cant be 2 captains in one ship...when arguement arises smtimes its beta to kip mute! Roll Eyes
It is difficult to walk away frm d scene if ur a person who get temper.
My friend tried dis b4 but she not feel comfortable goin outside knowin she got problem at home...

Posted: at 4-04-2011 12:25 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- diplomatik at 4-04-2011 12:26 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: bittersweet on  3-04-2011 06:46 PM
That's verbal abuse and it's a misguided attempt by an insecure & manipulative spouse to exercise control & establish dominance in a relationship.By intimidating u,nullifying ur every objection or request,and insulting u, ur spouse feels that he or she can maintain authority over u and ur relationship.He/she torments u with mind games and name-calling,and then demands an apology from u. In a couple, partners are supposed to love & respect one another! It is never acceptable for one  to carry all the weight in a relationship & treat his or her partner like a slave.
 Don't accept repression & cruelty as a part of relationship/marriage!

Take a look inward and carefully examine why & how u allowed ur spouse's verbal abuse to control u. While u certainly needn't take responsibility for ur spouse's repressive and malicious behavior, it's helpful to consider d reasons behind ur submission to such unjustifiable treatment.
Maybe u cling to ur spouse for fear of abandonment.Whatever d reason,u must initiate ur own healing process.Open yourself to ur  fears - and confront them.

The next step is to face ur partner.Describe d abuse exactly to him or her. If he/she becomes defensive & angry, gently tell him/her that this is d type of behavior that's hurting u.Refuse to yield to his/her accusations & manipulations.

Tell ur partner that u'will no longer accept his/her degradation.Set and stick to specific consequences if ur partner verbally attacks u even after u've spoken to him/her about it.Make sure d punishment is not too severe or too lenient.Don't expect ur spouse's abusive behavior to simply end, but allow time for ur partner to accept what has happened & forgive him/ herself.

Throughout d process,remind urself that u have done d right thing for u and for ur partner.


 Kiss

Posted: at 4-04-2011 12:26 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- bittersweet at 4-04-2011 12:35 PM (13 years ago)
(f)

Posted: at 4-04-2011 12:35 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- FlyMamacita at 4-04-2011 12:36 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
thank u  Grin
Posted: at 4-04-2011 12:36 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
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