I have the answer. Read through these and if you find any missing, fill em in!
YOU ARE A NIGERIAN IF FIVE OR MORE OF THESE REFERS TO YOU.
-Your name is so long, or so hard to pronounce, that you either have some "Americanized" nickname, or you use your middle name (which is English).
-You know what your name means.
- You know of anyone (including yourself) that has any of the following names: Ola, Sade, Bola, Tunji, Ngozi, Uche, Folake, Ifeoma, Tolu, Tunde, Obi,Chioma, Chituru,Chinyere,Adaobi,Nkemi, Nneka, Bunmi & Fatima
-Names like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday,Wednesday, Friday, Patience, Peace, Blessing, or Mercy are normal to you.
-Rice and stew just isn't the same without plantain (dodo)
-You would prefer MoiMoi, or farina (foo-foo) with soup over Mc Donald`s any day.
-You have ever treated a cold or sore throat with Pepper Soup." AND IT WORKED!!!!!!
-(For females) YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Not being able to cook stew or soup is one of the most major burdens in life.
-(For females again) YOU KNOW YOU'Re NIGERIAN IF a Nigerian man who is like 2 or 3 times your age has ever tried to spit game at you.eeeeeeewwwwww!
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You have ever gone to a Nigerian "get-together" and made a grip of money just by dancing.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... The fact that NAS ESCOBAR is half-Naija makes you so damn happy.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Not properly greeting an elderly Nigerian person has ever gotten you into a whole heeeap of trouble.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You or someone you know has ever been sent to Nigeria because of behavioral problems, or if your parents have ever threatened to do so.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... When you were little you got FLOGGED (spanked) by someone who of course is Nigerian, but is not your parent. And your parents had their back, over yours. (Shady huh?)
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Your parents own expensive *bleep* lace (like 200-300 dollars for one outfit), and they act shady when you want money for clothes.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Your parents have ever compared your life here in America to theirs in Nigeria. (i.e. boarding school, no electricity,fetching water, Nigerian Civil War.etc)
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... When you parents curse you want so bad you want to laugh, but you don`t want to get slapped.
-If you have ever been told that you will be beaten "well well."
-If you`ve ever heard stories such as, "When I was in Nigeria we had one shoe for the entire year and I had to cook for my senior brother."
-If you know several women who loudly sing in like 8 octaves too high and way too loud.
-If you've ever been embarrassed because when your friends came to visit your father walked around the house in a skirt (rapper or as we pronounce rappa)
-If you have ever been wakened at like 2:00 AM to speak to relatives u hardly know.
-If you have ever went to a Nigerian function where there were mostly adults and spent most of the time answering questions about school.
-If you know people who have the same weird first and last name (Akpan Akpan, Eno Eno)
-If when taking attendance the teacher says something weird and youu know its your name.
-If your parents can't keep straight pronouns like he, she, him and her (EX: Ah! Ah! did u see Jordan, she is such a good basketball player).
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Your parents use phrases like "Ewhoa,Chineke, Chei, and Ah-Ah,".
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Your parents have ever threatened to kill you, break your head, back, or neck, or to "show you pepe." (pepper)
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Any Nigerian kid that you known for a long asstime is your "cousin".
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You have a relative that owns a shop, especially if it is a shop that caters mainly to foreigners.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... All of your parent's Nigerian friends are your "uncles and Anti's." Not Aunts but Anties.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF.... when you are around Nigerians your accent either comes outta nowhere, or becomes thicker.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You have Naija relatives in Europe (especially London, England). chea!!!
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You have a rough estimate of how many Nigerians are at your school.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You are friends with someone just because they`re Nigerian.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You bond with people more from other African countries (Ghana, Sierra Leone, Gambia, Eritrea, Ethiopia), more than Americans.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You or your parents have some kind of stereotype about another Nigerian tribe.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You know more than anything that your tribe is the best tribe (ijebu!!! hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF. You know for sure that the Nigerian Eagles are by far the best soccer team in the world.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You have ever bought green chucks just to match a shirt that has the Nigerian flag on it. GREEN WHITE GREEN! Or if you have ever bought a Celtics jersey just to match a crisp green or white fitted.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You know anyone with dark ass hands and a bright ass face.
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF. You attend or have visited a predominantly Nigerian church.
-YOU KNOW THAT YOUR ARE A TRUE TO THE HEART NAIJA KING OR QUEEN if you are a GOOD DANCER! Cause ya know Nigerians have rhythm like WHOA!
You know you're Nigerian if...
-As a young woman, you`re biggest dilemma is sticking to the regular American boys you date or trying to find a Nigerian husband to appease your parents!
-If that same grandmother is always singing old Nigerian language-hymnals or spirituals rightbefore she runs her bath (she NEVER uses the shower!)
-If whenever Nigeria comes up in the news, you run to your TV set
and turn that volumewaaaayy up And you get sooo mad if it`s for another bloodbath or scandal that they`re in the news for.
-If you know "chin chin" and "puff-puff" are da Bomb!
-If dancing men in scary looking masks signify celebration and tradition.
-If you know one or more chiefs.
-If you or anyone in your family must be introduced with all their credentials, including the initials of all your degrees. "Hello everyone, please let me introduce to you Architect Inyang Victor Ekanmen, MD, PhD, MPH, DDS, MA, MBA (y`all get the point!!!)
-If you have ever been made to believe that a gap in the front teeth is sexy, especially if it`s on the top and bottom rows
-If half the people you know are either studying to be doctors or engineers.
-You know you`re Nigerian when your parents rather blast up Nigerian music than Rap and R&B when you`re driving around.
-You know you`re Nigerian when Your Parents say they are not coming to your wedding if you marry an American.
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