yes oo u suppose salute me you wetin you carry for ya waec no be oju eja

na so my undieing love b for oh sorry no get gf na you fit arrange one for me shap shapo for this room

wetin be thanks you dey repeat i think say you well so

wetin na i no be man like you i still try now i carry 24 position out of 25 na person take 25 na

thanks

wht na so now

really

My friend want to know if you were him will you marry a disable lady just because of her parent fortune??

How you come say you no need a generator?
When some men love dey quench like terminator.
At noon the love go over-load with solar power,
But for night, e go blackout like NEPA power.
Your fine sista I for true true like to take,
But now her hand I must try to forsake.
Bride price high well well for Auchi,
Make I manage Aisha wey dey Bauchi!
You fit apply,
And I go reply.

You be  de correct sugar for my garri,
And I love you pass all girls for Warri.
You be de apple for my own eyes,
If no be you I go die frozen like ice.
You dey homely like ofada rice,
We no go fight again like cat & mice.
You be my ogbenga orishirishi for egusi soup,
Soon I go buy for you a mercedes coupe.
You be the only Christmas clothe for my wardrope,
If you leave me,walai, I go hang myself with a rope.
My endless love & African angel with you I no fit sleep,
Even my own people say you don turn me to a sheep.
At this season of Valen-wetin and always,
My bodi,heart, & pocket na for you always.

well i pass the exam now them give me 101/100 lol

thanks

in short i be missed

Any one wey you call me i be

wetin be cafe i resemble person wey dey go cafe only sometimes if i want scan no connect quick

4 wetin who tell you that na house me i dey now

thank you so much more still dey come oo dey wait

Man: Hello?

Caller: Hi, this is Raheema calling from Hollywood Hereafter Resources. I just wanted to let you know that your phone number was randomly selected in a drawing and we have reserved a free burial space for you at the New Island Cemetery in Bridge-

Man: WHAT?!

Caller: If you would just give me your name and address. I want to send you a letter to confirm the free burial space we have reserved for you - - -

Man: You reserved what for me, A grave?

Caller: A free burial space.

Man: What's the difference?

Caller: Well, the word "grave" can be scary sir. You can disregard the letter if you don't want it. This is just a courtesy call to -

Man: How interesting. So, as a Telemarketer, you pick up the phone and cold call people to pitch them with offers?

Caller: Well, yes sir. We always make sure it is something of potential interest to them -

Man: Of course. Who wouldn't be interested in dying? I am definitely interested in a grave. I am. That is a very important decision to make before you die, right?

Caller: I agree with you sir. You're so open-minded about this. A lot of people don't understand why it is so important to hand-pick your final resting place before you pass on. It ensures you get the kind of burial you want for yourself.

Man: I see say na you dem send come.

Caller: I'm sorry? Send, come?

Man: Oh, they don't use the witchdoctor in the village anymore, right? They have gone nuclear and now are using Americans. Na you dem send come!

Caller: I'm sorry sir, but I don't know what you're talking about.

Man: I get fillage too o! I be proper bush boy and my mama still dey kampe for waterside. Na one phone call e go take and she go run go fillage go get me Gold Circle condom protection, you hear. Una no dey here say e better for somebody? Why na so-so make una dey spoil person own una dey like?

Caller: I don't understand what you're saying -

Man: You go understand by force. Na airmail I go take send winch to you, you hear. Una tink say una know winch just because una dey do halloween. You tink winch na dat abracadabra una dey do for America? You tink na to chant poetry and cook soup with lizard yansh and frog tongue be winch? I go show you where we dey use snake leg do ogbonge juju. Black winch, red winch, multi-color winch, For my fillage, na your eyes I go take flavor the juju. You go know betta winch when my own army land.

Caller: I do apologize to you if my phone call has offended you in any way -

Man: You have not offended me. I am not offended. Do I sound offended? Why would I be offended because you - kind-hearted telemarketer that you are - reserved a grave for me? Do you know how old I am? 32. In my country, people don't die at 32. When they die so young, it is a major tragedy! My mother and father are still alive. You want me to die before them?

Caller: I didn't mean anything -

Man: You people never mean anything when you make these stupid phone calls. How dare you wish me death -

Caller: No, that's not what -

Man: I DON'T CARE! Do you know how many years I worked on getting a visa to come to America? 10 years. 10! Do you know how many laws I broke in so many countries before I found my way here? I have been here only 2 years. All the people who gave me loans to buy ticket and visa have not been paid. My mother and father are still waiting for me to perform the magic of Dollars for them in Nigeria. This telephone was just connected 2 months ago because I am just now able to afford a telephone because I cannot make good money due to my illegal alien status. And now, you want me to die before I can even begin to enjoy a little, Ah, your own don spoil o. I swear, e no go betta for you.

Caller: E no, what?

Man: Na hand ya mama and papa go take bury you. And na there eyes dem go take cry for you for dat yeye grave wey you don reserve for yaself.

Caller: Are you cussing me sir?

Man: Cuss you? Why should I? Why would I want to cuss someone who is offering me a grave? I am only reacting in my local English. That is how we behave when we are overwhelmed with joy in my country.

Caller: I just had a distinct feeling that you were not saying nice things about me.

Man: See dis wowo wey craw-craw don chop him yansh finish, Look, just as an aside, are all the members of your family reserved space in your graveyard?

Caller: Some of them do have -

Man: No, don't stop there. You should get everybody a plot. I go help you use juju finish all of dem make una dey go do whassup my dog for Hollywood, abi na where you dey call from.

Caller: I have to hang up now sir.

Man: Before you hang up, would you by any chance know anything about a scam where telemarketers call people on the phone to assure them they have a free burial space, then try to get them to buy expensive mausoleums and crypts? What is it called? Bait and switch, right?

Caller: I don't know what you're talking about.

Man: You get pickin?

Caller: Get picking? Picking what?

Man: You get pickin? You don born bomboy? May you dash your pickin the grave now.

Caller: Dash picking, You're dissing me?

Man: Diss? Dis one pass diss, agaracha. Dis one na K.I.S.S., kiss - serious kiss of death.

Caller: I have to hang up now sir.

Man: No, please wait. Let me reserve the whole cemetery for your unborn children. I will also reserve a full page in the Daily Times obituary section -

Caller: That's mean! You can't talk to me like that just because I'm a telemarketer. We are people too.

Man: Yes, bad people, People who call me at all kinds of hours to trick me into buying what I don't need.

Caller: I'm going to report you to the INS! You will be deported!

Man: My juju go don finish you before you reach the place! Winch pass winch! You no go die betta, I tell you. I go make sure say dem give you craze first, make you waka enter K-Mart abi wetin una dey call market for dis side - before dem finish you! She reserve grave, Why you no take knife come kill me yaself? E no go betta for - Hello? You hang up? Why you no wait make I finish? Why you no wait? Oloshi! Na dead dog wey get rabies go chop the mouth you take talk to me

12 diferent diferent ways wey you go take no am.

   1. If you see sey Madam, Sir or Esq na hin dey di back of yua papa en mama dem leta, Bobo,dem buta una bread!  You fit bi Ajebota.
   2. But, if dem refer to yua papa en mama as "Iya ibeji", "Mama-bonboy", "Mama Chukwudi", or " Baa Lamidi", Walai! you no bi ajebota!! Paki no 1 na im you bi.
   3. If for una house, na regularly all corner corner for una house dey get fumigated with Pest repellants wey dey waya all di kokroaches an termites comot patapata. My fren you fit bi Ajebota. But if  like play like play, Kondishon con get as e bi, you kon expert. wey yua cortiner or skoll slipas fit taget an nak kokroch wey dey fly. My broda, you bi Paki special.
   4. If for una family, na soso wallets and purses una dey keep mony, den bodi dey inside cloth ,idey posibu you bi Ajebota.                  Bo ! if yua mama take confido comot ego for im brekoyan wey local champions dey yanfu yanfu, yua Paki na serios level o!
   5. For una compound,  kom rain kom sun kanga dey for wata, Ajebota na im una dey. O'boy if di middle of una head don carry wata sote, wey di hair don dey gif way small small. A swel to god, una be Paki.
   6. If yawa don gas! wey nature dey call, you go download for toilet finish, acada kom make una klin sonthing with different different toilet paper. man, you be anoda Ajebota. If wata kon pas gari, na di wata you take 'tamba' ya sef. I no go desif you,na real Paki una be.
   7. If na toothbrush una take dey comot all di craw craw for una mouth efry morin, Walai, a no go do bend-bend for una .Na Ajebota no 1 una bi. If afta chewing una pako, una family fit spit di pako-wata for mouth reach 50 meters!  K-leg don enta di mata o!! una Pakiness don accelerate reach 10!!!
   8. If you sef get underwaer wey get elastic at di waistline,beta chasis dey onda, na one kain confido you dey take waka in front of opekes afta new catch. Alan pozza ! yua Ajebota. If kondishon make crayfish bend, man juss dodge enta bed, with dat kain onderwear wey get drawstrings en resembul di flag of Ghana, Chei ! A beg comot for road, you bi real 'Ajepaki Special.'
   9. Ma fren, If yua home dey wired,you don arrive,you dey bam,for una compand camera dey,dogs dey baff,barbed-wire pleti,security alarm kom top am. Na baba God na im sabi una.fit be four-one-sontin? Den no born nobody reach, you be 'modern' Ajebota. But come o! If all area boys and 'igida eiye fo' & co dey scared despite dem gbana to scale una fence, bicos of Tori wey don saculate sey una family don bury "Shigidi" (ari ma lee lo,Awo pada seyin) put for entrace! . Bobo, yua origina Paki.
  10. If una leg no dey house,na saloon bi di main thin for Naija to 'oganise' di bush wey dey una head, listen well well, a no go play you wayo, I raise hand for you o! without sapele wata,una bi first class Ajebota. But mai sista, if you and yua 'onidiri' sidawn for 6 awas for 'apoti' onda tree, wey she dey wala yua hair, no bi sey na go come! sontin dey there, suffer head no get beta name, go sima sista! The thin bi sey, a troway face say am...You bi 'new mellinium' Paki.
  11. Hunnn...e go beta now, A beg, if financial hardship con hit una sotee ! Hongry waya una well-well,una bekom by force Vegetarian, thin wey man hear for una mouth for buka bi sey...Madam, gi mi 4 naira eba, kon top am wi Ogbono without. Yua wata don pass gari o! I sweer, mai broda you bi Ajepako.
  12.

      Finally, make i nak you di thin wey dey swell mai belle. If una area girls kom semmer for bobo-bomboy, by di means of foreplay, mony for hand back for ground, tori kon get k-leg for bed. una two kon dey kanpe for awas!  Viagragra dey work!! Oga driver kon release brake lights!!! Imagency trafiketo dey like dele!!!! Almighty Rain kon blow Tonda 'Agbara Ojo' kon skata-skata efrytin.....una kon dey Kuleeeeee. Job wel don mai broda,yua di shon of di shoil. You bi modan Ajebota. If you try thin afta dark with yua woman, wey she no wan take eye koro-koro si am happen, im bodi sef no dey down, she kon vess sey: "Baa Karimu, E se'nte se, E ye f'ori omu si e" Awa aunty, Bodi do mi for you,Den need you for Adult education Centa. Ajepaki na yua appelasion!   

a lagos boy who wanted to study economics was asked to list four markets and their characteristics in WAEC.
he answered:
1.Balogun market: where provisions and clothes could be bought.
2.Computer village: where computer assesories can be bought.
3.china town: where you can get chinese stuffs.
4. Oshodi market:world trade center of nigeria, and if you are not careful you could be bought too.