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1  Forum / Naijapals Base (Metro life) / Police Arrest Lebanese Who Battered 7 Months Pregnant Woman After He Ran To Kano on: 28-12-2013 06:04PM
Mr Kaveh Noine, the Lebanese manager with Toppan Printing Company, who allegedly kicked his pregnant Nigerian worker, Ms Alex...andra Ossai, in the stomach two weeks ago, causing her to lose her pregnancy have been arrested by the Police.



Efforts of the Lagos State Police Command from Area F Police Division to arrest Mr Noine, proved unsuccessful as his company and brothers claimed that he travelled out of the country.

As the news of attack filtered to President Goodluck Jonathan, he immediately directed that the police and the National Human Rights Commission investigate the matter, and ordered for the arrest of the culprit.
The news coming from Kano is confirming that Mr Noine was arrested last night by the Lagos State Police Command in Kano where he had fled to and was brought back to Lagos.
2  Forum / Naijapals Base (Metro life) / How Five Men Raped Me & Gave Me N20 Each Afterwards - Girl, 13, Narrates Ordeal on: 25-12-2013 11:13AM
A magistrate’s court at Iyaganku, Ibadan, Oyo State has ordered seven accused persons arraigned before it for conspiracy and defilement to be remanded in Agodi prison custody till January 27.



The accused’s names were listed as Emmanuel Abiola (64) a.k.a. Old Soldier, Mohammed Sanni (35), Kabiru Mohammed (25), Sakiru Sokoto (20), Eze Ndubuisi (26), Mohammed Sefiu (21) and Mohammed Bashir (20).

In a suit with number MI/1516C/2013, the accused persons were said to have “conspired together to commit felony to wit defilement, contrary to and punishable under section 516 of the criminal code cap 38 vol. 2 laws of Oyo State of Nigeria 2000.”

The second count charge read that the accused “did have unlawful carnal knowledge of one (names withheld) (13) and thereby committed an offence contrary to and punishable under section 218 of the criminal code cap 38 vol. 2 laws of Oyo State of Nigeria 2000.”

After the charges were read and the accused confirmed that they understood the charges, the Magistrate sitting at Court 4, Mrs. Kehinde Durosaro-Tijani ordered their remand at Agodi prisons and adjourned the case till January 27.

The victim’s guardian, Madam Sikiratu Akinbode (60), who resides at Yanbule Basorun, Ashi area, was said to have reported the case at Ashi police station and the Divisional Police Officer, Mr Seyi Williams, reportedly sent a team of detectives to the area and the seven suspects were picked.

Crime Reports learnt that the victim, a 13-year-old Primary 3 pupil, was brought to her guardian by her teacher who noticed her dirty uniform after she suddenly disappeared from class.
When examined, semen was said to have been found in the girl’s private part.

When probed, the girl confessed that some men had been having sex with her. She revealed that five of them who were Hausa used to give her N20 each. Same went for Old Soldier and Ndubuisi.

The guardian, who spoke with Crime Reports said that when she was first informed that her niece had sex with several men when she was sent to fetch water, she did not take it serious, until her teacher brought her home.

One of the suspects, Ndubuisi however denied involvement, saying that he only heard that Old Soldier used to have sex with the girl, after which he would give her N20. “I don’t know why my name was mentioned, though I wrote in my statement that I had sex with her once ,with the belief that I would be released if I said so,” Ndubuisi said.

Pa Abiola a.k.a. Old Soldier also denied having sex with the teenager, saying that she was his granddaughter’s age. When asked why the girl pointed at him among all the men in the area, in addition to what Ndubuisi said transpired some days before his arrest, the man said he could not understand.

Others also denied the girl’s claim, saying that she was just mentioning the names of any man she saw on the day the police came to the area.
3  Forum / Naijapals Base (Metro life) / MIRACLE: 16-Year-Old Girl Shot In The Head, Saved By Eyeglasses on: 25-12-2013 11:07AM
By sheer chance, she had fallen asleep wearing her glasses. Slowed by the spectacles' frame, the slug lodged itself in the bridge of her nose, wounding Bryant but sparing her young life.



"I could have been dead. I'm glad that the glasses saved me," the teen told KOMO. "I fell asleep with my glasses on, and the glasses saved where the bullet was."

KIRO said shooting suspects drove by the house twice, spraying it with bullets each time. Police said Bryant was not the intended target.

Police believe the shooting was gang-related and allege that someone who resides in the home has a gang affiliation. Bryant and her mother, LaVette Bryant however denied that anyone in the family is involved with a gang, although her mother told KOMO that a recent visitor might be connected to one.

Although they are angered and outraged by the shooting, they are also thankful for what neighbors have called a "Christmas miracle."
"It's amazing. It's God sent. If it weren't for God she wouldn't be here," her mother told KOMO.
4  Forum / Naijapals Base (Metro life) / Re: Photos: Governor Fashola pays condolence visit to the Ogunros on: 25-12-2013 10:55AM
Quote from: ChrisYan on 25-12-2013 05:47AM
here you find all the stories you always want to read. Xsuccess, don't removed bloggers link back to their websites Cry Cry Cry Cry Cry Cry


Nigeria Online Entertainment Source


You too don't cover the page with your links. The way you wrote the Nigeria Online Entertainment Source at the top is how to add a link not increase it to 100pt. Common you don't want people to be pissed off. Common you too think am now.
5  Forum / Naijapals Base (Metro life) / NASA Finds Message From God On Mars Written On Tablets In A Martian Cave on: 9-07-2013 05:21PM
NASA announced today that its Curiosity Rover has found an unambiguous message from God written on tablets in a Martian cave.



According to an official press release two giant stone slabs the size of small elephants were located deep inside a cavern abutting Aeolis Mons, a large mountain. Upon one tablet is a copy of the Ten Commandments and the text of John 3:16 written in 12 languages – including English, Spanish, Chinese, Basque and Hebrew. On the other tablet is a simple message in English reading “I am real.”

According to top scientists who have studied the discovery extensively, these findings may have definitively established Christianity as the one true religion.

“This is amazing,” says Syms Covington, an Australian researcher working for NASA’s Mars Exploration Program. “We went into the cave looking for water, and we found proof of God’s existence instead.

“I mean how else did those tablets get there? I can tell you one thing: there’s not a single atheist inside NASA’s control room now. What we saw was jaw-dropping.”

Genesis 1:1

NASA’s Curiosity rover arrived on Mars in August of last year with a mission to explore the Martian climate and geology for signs for habitability.

Thus far the mission has been a success, with the discovery of an ancient seabed and chemicals needed for life suggesting that Mars was once suitable for life. However the tablets, both of which are signed “Peace and Love – Yahweh,” represent the rover’s most significant find to date, and is perhaps the most important scientific event in history.

“When people find out about this, they will demand change in our society,” explains a political scientist at Georgetown University. “Democracy will have to give way to theocracy. We’re gonna have to build more churches and reintroduce prayer into schools. Abortion is defiantly going to be illegal within a few months.”

Despite its potential significance, Covington fears that the Earth-shattering discovery may not make the impact it should.

“Unfortunately, the mainstream media is so anti-Christian, they might not even pick up this story,” he explains. “But God is real. We have proof. And everyone deserves to hear the truth.”
6  Forum / Naijapals Base (Metro life) / Re: 10 Signs She Wants You To Ask Her Out on: 17-04-2013 02:55PM
nice
7  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Ladies: Seven Reasons Why He’s Going Out With Her and Not You on: 2-02-2013 10:00AM
Don’t you hate that? You give a guy, the best years of your life or you’ve liked that guy for ages but yet he keeps choosing random ladies over you?

So what’s going on? What’s so good about her? What was it that he couldn’t or didn’t see in you? He most likely isn’t going to tell you why but I have seven reasons why he chose her and not you.



1. GOD’S TIME IS THE RIGHT TIME- Timing is everything. It’s not your time to be with him or it will never be your time. Sometimes some things aren’t meant to be.

2. Attraction – Hard pill to swallow but it could be that she’s more attractive than you, in which case you can’t blame him. We all want someone on our arm that we can be proud of but one man’s trash can be another man’s treasure right?

3. Confidence – If you like to constantly point out your flaws just so he could dispute them, chances are he was thinking ‘On to the next one!’ Guys like confident girls who are confident in their own skin. If you were guilty of this, you just gave him the green light to pick a more confident chick, sucks huh?

4. She trusts him- If you were the sort of girl who checked their man’s phone while he went to the toilet or did some military style interrogation when he went out with his boys? That sort of behaviour screams crazy/needy/out of control/ neurotic freak. If you trusted him, you might have kept him.



5. She knows he’s not psychic – What do I mean? Basically when a guy asks you ‘what’s wrong?‘ TELL HIM. They are not psychic, they won’t just ‘know’. This kind of behaviour drives guys up the wall, and they hate it. As I always say communication is KEY. I realise I’m guilty of this one *sighs*

6. She understands that his bank account isn’t bottomless – If you were one of those girls always demanding money for this or that, it’s no wonder you found yourself suddenly single. This other chick is probably within his price range.

7. She respects him –If you complained at everything he did instead of giving constructive criticism. No guy likes to stick around for abuse. Odds are this new chick probably shows she appreciates him not just when he does something for her but constantly, guys need love too, you know!

To sum it all up, you and her are two different women and he choosing her has no reflection on you as a woman. He’s made his choice and the best revenge you can do is meet someone who knows your worth and stop thinking about your ex cos trust me he ain’t thinking about you.
8  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: 6 Pitfall Of Having A Substitute Girlfriend Or Boyfriend on: 22-01-2013 05:27PM
Quote from: sophiebaby on 22-01-2013 04:47PM
my mission here is to chill d broken hearts and make ppl smile evryday.. Arabanko..common comot for rd make i see better Substitute BF

#thumb up
9  Forum / Relationships & Romance / 6 Pitfall Of Having A Substitute Girlfriend Or Boyfriend on: 22-01-2013 03:57PM
You call yourselves “just friends,” but you know as well as everyone else does that you’re more than that. You know where he is when he’s not with you. You spend your weekends together. You travel together. You go to Shoprite and the cinema together. You say “we” a lot, and all of your other friends know who “we” is.



You are dating without benefits. You are serving all of the functions of life partner for each other, without, you know, any of the good stuff — romance, commitment, and sex. (Though any of these elements might sneak in and out of the relationship on occasion, usually aided by alcohol.)

You are a substitute boyfriend or girlfriend, and this, my friend, could drag on for years, especially if neither of you meets someone else — someone you can call your actual boyfriend or girlfriend. This is not great news.

But it’s not bad news, either, necessarily. A substitute relationship will always be one of the most important, confusing, infuriating, amazing entries on your list of major exes. A substitute relationship will affect your life so profoundly that it will feature prominently on the official slide-show-tour of your past.

However, here are a few things you should know before getting entangled in this messy kind of coupling:



1.     Everyone will ask if you’re a couple, why you’re not a couple, and when you’re going to be a couple.

Seriously, everyone! All of your friends, his friends, bartenders, the lady at the spa who assumes you want a couples massage and so on. This grilling will not end until you either become a couple or stop hanging out so damn much, so figure out a clever go-to answer. And please let me know if you do think of a good one.

2.    You know how there’s stuff you’ll do only for your longtime mate like check on her when she’s sick or help him choose what to have for dinner every night? You will find yourself doing those things for this person.

I mean, this is the good news/bad news part, right? It’s awesome when you have someone to go get you more Actifed when you’re down with cold, but it’s irritating when you find yourself planning out his menu for the next week when instead you should be tending to your 2go profile to find a real boyfriend.



3.   You will likely miss out on chances to meet prospects for real dating.

When you look like you’re always out on a date, chances are few people are going to approach you — except really gross people who don’t mind stealing other people’s dates.

4.     You may at times think you’re in love with this person — and you may very well be — but there is something keeping you apart.

If you’re spending this much time together without being romantically involved, the cold truth is that something is awry. Somebody’s not feeling it, or somebody has major emotional blockages to deeper commitment, or both. That might be okay with you for now.  You never know what craziness is in store for affairs of the heart, but betting folks would put their money against this one coming to reality.



5.    You will have to break up eventually.

You may or may not end up having an actual breakup-ish talk, but a moment will come in which you realize things have changed. One of you may express feelings that the other can’t reciprocate. One of you may demand more than the other is willing to give. (“No, I will not fold your laundry. And furthermore, I don’t want to read your new novel, either.”) Very likely, one of you will get a real-life mate and be forced to renegotiate the terms of the friendship. Spending all your time with your boyfriend-without-benefits would be weird when you have a real partner; it would feel like cheating, in a way. The mysteries of human relationships are winding and vast, like the aisles of a certain Swedish furnishings superstore, but we know when something is just wrong.

6.   You will miss him or her.

Okay, so now you have broken up with your boyfriend-without-benefits and things can’t be the same between the both of you ever again, and you might not really even want them to be. But sometimes when you pass through the neighborhood where you and your substitute boyfriend used to drink too much white wine together, you’re going to get a little wistful. And even though you’re still “friends,” what you can’t bring yourself to ask him is: How do you know what to eat for dinner without me?
10  Forum / The Buzz Central / Re: BIG BOY! Ice Prince Flies His Designer Girlfriend, Yvonne Nwosu To Ghana! on: 26-12-2012 03:01PM
Quote from: mary11 on 26-12-2012 02:25PM
Nautalkam u knw see me and my OWN as we dey jollyficate 4 Pakistan?dis new year na Somalia we dey enta

make i say R.I.P while you can hear  Cry Cry Cry
11  Forum / The Buzz Central / Re: [Photos] Meet The 10 Most Kissable Female Celebrities In Nigeria on: 26-12-2012 01:27AM
wireless sey u don kiss dem?  Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
12  Forum / Relationships & Romance / 7 Things All Cheaters Need To Know on: 23-11-2012 08:07AM
Dear Remorseless Cheaters,

Apparently there is still some confusion out there that your extracurricular shenanigans are wrong. In the interest of members of the unsuspecting public that may hook up, marry, or have children with you, the following PSA is offered.



1. You aren’t “edgy.” You think we lack the sophistication and intellect to understand your complicated love rhombus. On the contrary. You lack the intellect to keep both your security clearance and your pants on. Cheating on your spouse doesn’t make you special, misunderstood, or star crossed. It makes you rather embarrassing.

2. Quit with your Darwinian theories already. We didn’t evolve to be monogamous? Well, we didn’t evolve to do a lot of things. Farm. Use indoor plumbing. Buy sequined crap on QVC. And yet we manage. Why is it that you blame your primal self for infidelity, yet you are quite adept at technologies such as placing personal ads on Craigslist? Why point to the reptilian part of your brain as an excuse for boinking whomever you want to? When the spouse of that person comes after you with a shotgun, neither you nor the court of law will be much impressed with his argument that the reptilian part of his brain would like to splatter your guts on the sidewalk.

3. Admit that you like the deceit.

Come on, it’s a high. Playing hooky is a lot more fun than getting a day off from school. Everyone there in the classroom, playing by the rules, listening to a boring lecture on the Continental Congress, while you smoke dope behind the bleachers. Renegade! The secrecy and lies are what gives the frisson of danger to your affair and makes it so delicious. Otherwise you would have an open marriage, same rules for everyone. But no, the power imbalance is what you’re after. You enjoy a position of advantage over your trusting partner. They’re at home, devoting their energies to you and your home life, faithful to the wonderfulness that is you. Sweet gig you got there — and you know it.

4. Stop minimizing. Cheating is no big deal? Quit getting those puritanical knickers in a twist? It’s just a quick naughty with the boots on. Nothing to get so huffy about. Geez.



Tell that to the man who had to paternity test his children. Or to the spouse who gets an STD thanks to you. Or to the stay-at-home mother who made herself financially vulnerable to your cheating ass. Or to the children who lost their intact family and get shuttled around next holiday season, having to play nice with your latest flame.

When your family reminds you of your selfish choices that led to these outcomes, you’ll be tempted to tell them that they are bitter and should stop playing at “victimhood.” They are not pretending to be victims — they are victims. How they navigate away from that pain is up to them. You’ve got no business telling them to suck it up. When the urge strikes, distract yourself, perhaps with a sparkly object like a mirror, an exercise class, or by slapping yourself.

5. Swingers, open marriage aficionados, the polyamorous — no one is judging you. Have at it. It’s not cheating if everyone is consenting and on board. This public service announcement does not apply to you.

6. No one is forcing you to stay married.

If you don’t want to be monogamous, don’t be. Find another person like yourself and quit feigning monogamy. If your marriage is truly awful and sexless and your love language is seething passive aggression, find your guts and just end it honestly. But your spouse and children couldn’t function without you? They need you too much? Let them be the judge of that. You may find that they get on quite well without you. Your partner is a person deserving of respect and honesty, not a consolation prize. It’s condescending to act like life with them is a huge sacrifice. Lay your “burden” down already.



7. This is not your best self.

It is understandable that you want to think of yourself as a good person. Our character, however, is made up of our actions. Not how we wish to perceive ourselves. People who don’t care who they are hurting, who lack empathy synapses and introspection? We call those people sociopaths. Don’t be like that. (And if you are truly like that, no public service announcement in the world can save you.) You’re better than this. Please go live an authentic life.
13  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Ten Signs That You’re In Love on: 14-11-2012 01:30AM
You’ve dated your fair share of women and have always enjoyed keeping your options open; but lately, there’s this one woman that has you wondering if she’s “the one.”

In order to help you figure this out, I have compiled the following list of the top 10 ways to know you’re in love.



Number 10: You’ve forgotten your ex

More often than not, a breakup is followed by a significant amount of time spent thinking about her and wondering whether or not you guys made the right decision in going your separate ways. Depending on how long the two of you were together, these doubts can resurface again and again.

Ever since you met her , however, the thought of getting back together with your ex is the furthest thing from your mind. Come to think of it, you barely recall what you found so great about your ex in the first place.

Number 9: You can’t stop thinking about her

Instead, you are consumed by thoughts of her . She just pops into your head for no apparent reason, and you wonder if she thinks of you half as much as you think of her. You wonder what she’s up to and even consider calling her (but refrain from doing so for fear of looking overeager).

If she’s the last thing on your mind before you go to sleep and the first thing on your mind when you wake up — and you’ve even dreamed of her on a couple of occasions — then you don’t really even need to read on to know if you’re in love (but should anyway, just to be sure).

Number 8: You care about her

There is a reason why you don’t really want to know too much about the chick you had a one-night stand with: you don’t love her. When you’re in love with a woman, you want to know all about her: who she is, what she thinks, what makes her laugh. You truly care about her and her feelings.

If you truly love a woman, you feel bad if she had a bad day or is upset about something. You don’t try to cheer her up because you have to , but because you can’t help it.

Number 7: You find her quirks charming.

She does and says things that make her different, and you like it. You can’t quite put your finger on why, but it doesn’t even matter. You like her just the way she is.



Number 6: You have great chemistry

You can’t be in love with someone that you have no chemistry with. If you and her seem to always be on the same wavelength, and think in similar ways, that’s a great sign. If you also generate enough heat to set off a five-alarm fire bell, then she is probably someone that you could fall in love with, if you aren’t there already.

Number 5: You don’t notice other women as much

Although you can’t help noticing a beautiful woman when one walks by, when you’re in love, some of them tend to slip under the radar, while others just pale in comparison to her. Furthermore, you don’t seem to be flirting half as much as you used to.

You are slowly realizing that she’s often the only woman in the room that matters, and, for some reason, that suits you just fine.

Number 4: You love spending time with her

This one is pretty obvious but important nonetheless. You look forward to seeing her, and don’t care much about what the two of you will be doing. Lately, just going for a walk with her sounds like the best way you could possibly spend an evening.

Furthermore, when you’re not together, you miss her and wish you were.

Number 3: You don’t mind compromising sometimes

There was a time when it was your way or the highway, but, with her it’s different. Not that she asks you to, but you don’t mind missing a night out with the guys to be with her. And you find yourself trying to incorporate her into your plans or altering them to accomodate her.

Number 2: Other priorities take a backseat

Your ever-important “to-do” list seems quite stagnant these days, as being with her always manages to render your other plans and obligations obsolete.

Number 1: You start thinking about the future and she’s in it

It used to be that the future with a woman meant your date on Saturday night, but, with this woman, the future seems infinite. Not only do you plan to see her this weekend, but you want to see her a year from now as well.

She’s the one…

If you are currently dating a woman that makes you act in any of the ways mentioned above, then you, my friend, are seriously falling for her. It’s time to put away the little black book for a while and enjoy
14  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Ten Ways To Romance Your Husband on: 5-11-2012 11:46PM
1) Write him a check for one hundred kisses. Be available to cash the check for him when and where he likes.



2) The next time you're out to dinner, casually take out a pen and write a note to him on a paper napkin—letting him know what he can look forward to at home. Fold it and slide it across the table.



3) As he heads out for work, give him a passionate kiss. If he wants to know what it was for, tell him it's the appetizer for tonight's menu.



4) Pamper his tootsies with a relaxing foot massage. All you need is a warm basin of water, some soap, a towel, and some lotion.



5) Get up a few minutes earlier than usual, brush your teeth, then get back in bed and wake him up with a kiss.



6) Refrain from saying "I told you so." That might be the best gift of all.



7) Handwrite his favorite Bible verse on parchment. After laminating it, surprise him by tucking it into his Bible.



Cool Have your guy write down on slips of paper his five favorite things to do. Fold them and place them in a bowl. Let him draw one out and read it—then do it together.



9) Blindfold your husband and "kidnap" him. Take him to a hotel room where you have prepared a romantic tryst.



10) Men view romance differently than women. Ask your husband to describe what's romantic to him. Don't be surprised when his ideas sound very different from yours.

15  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Five Things You Must Do Before Dating Again on: 17-10-2012 07:03AM
Never underestimate the power of the familiar. Unless you do some very hard work, you’re a sitting duck for a rerun. Before you go looking for love again, here are some things to think about:



1. Take time for healing. Yes, it’s hard to be alone. Trust me, it’s harder to find yourself right back in the same kind of painful relationship going through the same kind of painful divorce. Instead, take some alone time to get to know the most important person in your life — you. Figure out why you’re so afraid to be alone. Figure out why and how you connected with someone who ultimately hurt you or someone you had so little respect for that you cheated. Knowing yourself is the first big step toward taking care of yourself.

2. Until you do number 1, don’t trust your instincts. As one of my friends said in a moment of self-awareness, “If I’m attracted to him, he’s probably bad for me.” She was right. She had an unerring radar for narcissists who were quite charming (as narcissists are) but who ultimately loved themselves more than they cared about her. She came to understand that there was something about those guys that reminded her of the father she had adored but who never gave her the time of day. The part of her that was still longing for the love and approval of a narcissistic dad translated into her involvement with narcissistic partners. Like her dad, these men were only interested in her adoration, not in her. Like her dad, they each moved easily on to the next woman who could give him an even bigger and better adoration fix. She wisely decided she had work to do before she started dating again.

3. Beware of the old stuff in a new disguise. A colleague of mine told me of one of his clients who had married and divorced three alcoholics in a row. She did her therapy. She swore she’d never get involved with another alcoholic. So the next man she married was a high-powered corporate executive who only had an occasional glass of wine at dinner. Yes, she had the appearance of a different marriage with a different kind of guy. Yet she ended up just as unhappy. She soon discovered that she had married a workaholic who was just as emotionally unavailable to her as the alcoholics.

4. Be willing to be uncomfortable during the process of choosing differently. Whatever your issues, it will be a new feeling to take care of yourself. You may need to learn to stick up for yourself, or to insist on your right to be treated well and cherished, or to have equal say in a relationship or to not foot all the bills. Just because something feels “wrong” doesn’t necessarily mean that it is. It may mean that you are truly giving yourself the gift of doing things differently.

5. If you find yourself doing the same ‘ol, same ‘ol, hit the eject button and get some therapy. Finding more of the same is not evidence that all men/women are like your former partners. Its only evidence that you once again fell into the same trap. A therapist will help you gain new insight into your vulnerabilities, will help you rebuild your damaged self esteem and will be a source of support and encouragement while you shed old patterns and make better choices.
16  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Don't Share Your Marital Woes With Friends They Will Talk You Into Divorce on: 11-10-2012 03:09PM
You know who your friends are when you’re going through a relationship crisis. Maybe your husband is coming up to 40 and has started acting strangely; perhaps you’ve caught him texting another woman; or, worst of all, he’s threatening to leave you and break up the family.



Whatever the circumstances, it’s only being able to phone a friend or chat with the girls over a glass of wine that stops you from going round the bend.

However, after almost 30 years working as a marital therapist, I’ve become convinced that, while men don’t have enough friends or emotional support, women can have far too many and too much.

In fact, my heart sinks when a new female client tells me her ‘friends have been wonderful’ because time and time again, while she thinks they’ve been helping her save her relationship, they’ve been fanning the flames or even throwing petrol on the fire.

EXAMPLE

Charlotte, 48, who chairs the board of governors at a school in Kent, sought my help when her husband David, 47, announced out of the blue that he didn’t love her any more, saw no future in their marriage and wanted to rent a flat in the next town, away from her and their three children.

‘You’ll never guess what he’s done now,’ she said as she sat down in my office, in the same tone I imagined her speaking to friends. ‘He’s bought our 12-year-old some trashy heels. He knows I don’t approve and he’d have been the first to complain if I got her a small top or anything else he considered inappropriate, but since we’ve separated, he’ll do anything to curry favour.’

When Charlotte finished cataloguing the ways her husband had let her down, I asked her to reflect on why he might have behaved like this. She became more thoughtful.

‘He’s not used to disciplining the children, as he’s left that up to me, and he’s frightened of alienating the girls, so he’s a pushover.’



Her friends hadn’t been so understanding: they just matched her initial outrage and told her she should return the shoes. She hadn’t yet done that, and as we talked she admitted that it would escalate the problem, so instead she decided to discuss it with her husband.
That’s what she did, he apologised and they were beginning to communicate better. Charlotte told me that she was relieved she hadn’t listened to her friends.

However, a few weeks later, she discovered her husband was using their temporary separation not to ‘get his head straight’, as he had told her, but to date another woman. Once again, it seemed her friends were a vital support system.

When her internet trawl discovered new evidence about her rival, she would call friends at all hours. ‘I’ll find a new picture of her on Facebook and I’ll be so incensed I pick up the phone to a friend to analyse what it means,’ she told me.

Unfortunately, going over all the minutiae with your friends is more likely to pump up your distress, make you feel angrier and betrayed, and more likely to fire off a late-night text or email — as it did with Charlotte.

In her case, goaded on by her friend, she sent a message to the other woman. ‘I thought she should know just what she was doing to my family,’ she explained. ‘But it totally backfired. All I did was push my husband and her closer together.’

One problem with confiding in friends about your marital problems is that you often give them a very one-sided account of the situation — and thus get a skewed response.



FIVE STEPS TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE
When you’re in a hole, stop digging. Under pressure, we tend to try the same failed strategy again and again. Even though we know pushing for an answer, getting angry or going silent doesn’t work, we imagine doing it one more time (but bigger, louder or for longer) will
change things. It won’t.

Stop playing tit for tat. He does something horrible and you match him. Soon it’s become a race to the bottom.
Just for a second, put your feelings to one side and step in your partner’s shoes. How does your relationship look now and what would you like to do differently?

Make a full apology. This is different from saying sorry. First, acknowledge any behaviour that you regret; next, identify how this might have made him feel, and then apologise. Please don’t explain why you acted as you did — that’s for another day — because it can sound like an excuse and lessen the power of your apology.

Be the big one. If you love your husband — and if not, why are you spending hours talking about him to your girlfriends — do you love him enough to give without any expectation (in the short term) of getting anything back?




Perhaps it is not surprising we urge our friends to take the same path as us because, when it comes down to it, everybody questions whether they’ve made the right choices and having friends come to similar conclusions is reassuring.

So while it’s fine to occasionally talk to your friends about your relationship, instead of talking about the man in your life, you should be really be talking and — even more importantly — listening to him.
17  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / LMAO: Crazy Man, Omwami In His Life Time (photo) on: 1-10-2012 02:46PM


Omwami bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
============ ========= ========= ======
Omwami: I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Omwami: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
============ ========= ========= ========= ===
Omwami: Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Omwami : Can I take it tomorrow, tonight is the final game.
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Omwami : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Omwami : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
============ ========= ========= ========= ==
Omwami : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Omwami : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again..
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Omwami complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How come the thief did not take TV?'
Omwami : 'I was watching TV news...'
============ ========= ========= ========= ==
Omwami comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for the compliment.'
============ ========= ========= ========= ======
How do you recognize Omwami in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
============ ========= ========= ========= ========
Once Omwami was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast ann ounced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ==
Omwami in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Omwami : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Omwami - If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Omwami : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
Omwami told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Omwami: 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.''

how many Marks for Omwami?
18  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Would You Marry A Woman Who Earns More Than You? on: 26-09-2012 09:25AM
"I have been out of the University for ten years without a job. Getting a job became a big deal in those years. Every advertisement I saw on the papers demanded for five years working experience.



How could l have had five years working experience without actually working? So l continued the search until l found a job as a clerical staff in an establishment of sort.

I took it even though the pay could not take me home. They say ‘a beggar doesn’t have a choice’. I couldn’t say no to the salary when I didn’t have a better deal elsewhere.



I have worked for six years and just got my promotion to the position of a supervisor in the same company.

Meanwhile, I have continued to see my sweetheart, Jessica from the University. She finished service and got a good job in a Bank and as it is she is already earning more than I have ever earned… The though of marriage makes me uncomfortable as I want to play my role as 'the man' in our household..."

So is it still a big deal in this day and age?
Does it matter if a woman has a more financially rewarding career than the man she chooses to marry?
19  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Ladies: Ten Ways To Become The Best Girlfriend on: 20-09-2012 01:56PM
1. Treat Your Promises Seriously

When you consistently keep your promises, you justify your boyfriend that you are a trustworthy girl. You demonstrate to him that you never go back on your words and do what you say you are going to do.



2. Never Act Like You Think You Are Better Than Him

Nobody likes to be disrespected. So, never act like you suppose you are better than him. Never criticize, excoriate, or disregard your boyfriend. Destructive criticism incessantly belittles his self-worth.

3. Be Solution-Oriented

If you want to be a good girlfriend then you have to become an efficient problem solver.

“Average Girlfriend is a Complainer; Good Girlfriend is a Problem-Solver.”

Have you ever perceived why some humans are greatly popular among their friends? It is only because they have talent to resolve problems proficiently. They go the extra mile to resolve problems, and to assist others resolve their problems. They are like the ‘God Father’ of their friends. They have solution-oriented thinking; that’s why they are, on every occasion, surrounded by people.

That’s why, for being the best girlfriend, it’s very essential to become a solution-oriented girl.

4. Refer Him Professionally

Do you want to be seen as the best girlfriend? Then, refer your boyfriend professionally. He will, day after day, appreciate the help. This kind and cooperative act will make you immensely valuable for him.

Don’t be a selfish girlfriend during his rough times. Under no circumstances explain your unemployed boyfriend why you are doing a brilliant job. Never compare yourself with him. Instead, behave professionally and provide good opportunities for him.

5. The Relationship is All About Fun, Adventure and Emotions

The relationship isn’t a big thing; it’s a million little things. It’s all about fun, adventure, laughter and emotions. Researchers found that when you produce happy emotions in your relationship, you create a positive psychological impact on your lover. Your lover becomes addicted to you.

You have to become an asset in your boyfriend’s life. You must make him laugh. Sharing a laugh can boost gladness and heighten the bonds of relationship.



6. Never Complain All the Time

Most of us complain all day day-to-day. We accuse people and circumstances for just about everything. It has become a human style to complain about everything. According to a research, the normal individual complains between 10 and 25 times per day.

By complaining, we make ourselves a victim and no one wants to pamper a victim day long. As a matter of fact, complaining is categorically an external expression of internal letdown. No one wants to listen to your complaints, apart from maybe the incurably distressed person. That’s why complainers, in all probability, find themselves hanging out with other complainers.

So, fix your problems and always look at the bright side. Be a tough woman, because it’s your job too to improve things.

7. Getting Ignored is the Kiss of Death

When you ignore people, they feel unhealthy. It is because people obtain their self-respect from the approval of others. In other words, getting ignored is the kiss of death for people.

If you want to be the super best girlfriend, then give him lavish attention. Spend time together, share laughs, become a part of a club with him, or make a sport team etc. Spending time with your boyfriend should always be thrilling.

Pay special attention to him and spend prime time with him. The more we share our prime time with our soul mate, the happier we are.

8. Build an Awesome Team

Build an awesome team of friends and lead them. It’s one of the superior traits of a good girlfriend. In a team-oriented domain, you consistently have more fun, and you laugh more frequently. When people work side by side in a team, they are likely to form bonds between each other; they think strategically, and they get a sense of understanding.

When you build an awesome team of friends, you become more sociable and irresistible; you become extremely attractive for your boyfriend.



9. Disclose something Valuable to Deepen the Relationship

Deepening your relationship with your boyfriend is not easy. For being a good girlfriend, you must need to disclose something valuable or personal to deepen the relationship. When you disclose/share something valuable, you build trust; you fortify relationship with him, and you become his soul mate.

There are plenty of things you can do to fortify the relationship with your boyfriend. For example,

Try new things together.
Know what is going on in his lives.
Invite him for lunch, movie, or sporting event.
Talk about your goals and successes.
Celebrate the achievements.
Or, show up to events.

10. Be an Elite Girl

In order to become a great girlfriend, be an elite girl. An elite girl is someone that people consistently want to follow. She is a creative leader and a very valuable friend/person. She is intelligent, she is passionate, and she has a great sense of humor. She knows very well how to energize others. That’s why, she radiates immense confidence.
20  Forum / Religion / [VIDEO] 'Falling In Love' By Onyeka Onwenu on: 11-09-2012 10:05AM


Falling in Love is taken from ''The Legend'' album compilation of the vintage and legendary Onyeka Onwenu.

Falling in love explores the christian perspective of Jesus as the groom and the church as the bride.As you watch may your love for God rekindle over and over till the end of time.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AY12fYhPg8E" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AY12fYhPg8E</a>
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