The Lagos State Government in its anti-child labour law warns kid-labourers to stay off the streets. But for 15-year-old Mustapha Abubakar, who came to Lagos from his native Katsina State last year, that law does not exist because he can neither speak nor write English language. Even the common man’s ‘pidgin English’ remained a hard try for him. Young Abubakar, one of the teeming scavengers in Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola’s Lagos State, was sent by his jobless parents to come and make money for them.



Playing the breadwinner

At a age most of his mates are in school, Abubakar, who came to Lagos with the help of his father’s friend called “Officer”, is playing his family’s breadwinner. He would have loved to be educated, but his poor father could not afford to send him to school. The young boy told Sunday Sun that the daily search for discarded iron and other commercial wastes at refuse dumps had not yielded the expected gains that will enable him support his family despite toiling from dawn to dusk. In an interview with our reporter at the Osolo dump site in Isolo, Lagos, he narrated how he had to struggle for virtually everything in life at a tender age. “There is no money now. My parents have no money to sponsor my education. My father married one wife and had four children. It is only one person that is going to school in our family.

Life as a scavenger



I can’t join Boko Haram

Asked whether he would join the dreaded sect, Boko Haram, if offered huge money to cater for his family, Abubabar said that he preferred his life to evil money.

The Chairman, Committee of Pro-chancellors of Nigeria, Dr. Wale Babalakin, has said that there is high cash flight of about N160bn from Nigeria to Ghana annually as the cost of university education of about 75,000 Nigerian students schooling in Ghana.



Babalakin stated that Nigerians also spend huge amounts for the education of their children or wards in other countries including the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Malaysia.



Babalakin, who was the chaired the occasion, said university education in Nigeria was at a crossroad and called on intellectuals to fashion out strategies to overcome the challenges facing the sector.



The guest lecture, Prof. Olufemi Durosaro said universities are under great pressure to ensure they operate on world-class standard. Durosaro said it implies greater needs in the areas of funds, personnel and other facilities and urged stakeholders in education, particularly the alumni of institutions to find a way of intervening to help in the development of their alma mater.

He also said universities in Nigeria should strive to become centres of excellence in order to produce employable graduates who can think critically, reflectively, discern between doubts and dogma, facts and fallacies.

There are Crazy things women do to mess up their love lives, but they can avoid them by following some simple advice:



1. LIVE YOUR LIFE THROUGH YOUR MAN:
Women who let a man control the relationship eventually feel cheated and angry. Be the best you can be in your own right. You need to take a stand for things in your life, and in the relationship that you want. Do not wrap your whole life around his.

2. SETTLING FOR A MAN:
Desperate women settle for any man. Do not settle for anyone less than you deserve. It may take longer to find the right guy but you will not be stuck with a fool. Do not act desperate, good men can smell the desperation kms away. Just be confident, be yourself and believe that the right man will come along, because he will.

3. CONFUSING PASSION FOR LOVE:
Too many women have sex out of a feeling of emptiness or hunger for approval. The result: Disaster. Sex too soon can make you feel worthless. Wait and choose a partner you have gotten to like as a person first. Men actually like women MORE if they withhold sex for a while because they deem you Marriage material. No man wants to get involved in a serious relationship with an EASY woman.



4. DO NOT LIVE TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE:
Yeah, this sounds old school, outdated and crazy. Couples who live together before marriage are one third more likely to break up within 10 years. Wait until the two of you know, love and respect each other. Then get married. Make a commitment, then move in. Do not move in without the commitment.

5. EXPECTING TOO MUCH FROM A MAN:
Women with low self esteem expect marriage to bring total fulfillment. But they are doomed to disappointment when Prince Charming does not meet expectations. Choose a compatible mate, not a man you think will solve your problems. Ask any married woman. Men can not, and do not, solve all your problems.

6. HAVING A BABY FOR THE WRONG REASON:
Women who have a child to fix a broken relationship often become trapped with a man they should dump. Make an intelligent decision about having a child. You have the power over you own body. Do NOT have a baby just to keep a man in a relationship with you. That spells DOOM and DISASTER.

7. HAVING LOW STANDARDS:
Over the years the standards and requirements of Women have lowered. Men know that and have taken advantage of it. Many women do not require anything of a man. So many standards have been lowered by women that now a man does not have to climb over a very high bar to get to her. So now you have more men who can get away with more things with more women without any repercussions. Do not accept less than you deserve. And you deserve everything.

8. NOT LOVING YOURSELF:
Many women sacrifice everything just to please a man, whether its your Boyfriend or Husband. Learn to place yourself first in life and be happy first before transferring the happiness to someone else. Dont live your life for someone else. Life is short, you need to be happy.

The precepts of living joyously still remains our concern
For what we give precedence  goes to discern
How ginormous our merry and melancholy will be in turn



At the university of life we encounter hoards of pratfalls
Yet strive to maintain cheerful cheery countenance amid all
Gingerly suppressing the painful pains and stressful strains.

Pragmatically we observe how our plans are scuttled
And scruple to get every obstacle and shortfall battled
Carefully amassing and rekindling our visions for the morrow.

Amid the raptures and fortunes of the university of life
Let’s relish the moments for felicity runs rife
Amicably blending with our wishes and expectations.

Herein we possess monumental moolah and wealth
Yet paradoxically,yearning and chasing better health
A reality,a situation and a verity that amazes.

When I see that cute baby carried in the papoose
I seethe with unshakable hope and no chance i loose
wishing that baby a promising future and mercy in perpetuity.
Transform a soul,shake a conscience,hold a hand
Adorn yourself in humility and make your chances grand
For it is so small the abode and world we are in.

No one can claim knowledge to everything. And it has been found that one way to make the best of a relationship is to have some basic notions in mind. One of which is that a relationship is something that each party should be prepared to work for.

A good relationship has to be groomed and nurtured; each party should also to ready to respect each other no matter the situation. That is highly important. Here are some other notions to remember from time to time:



Spend quality time together
This is perhaps one of the most common relationship tips found in columns and books, but it is one of the most effective.

Spending quality time with family members, friends, and significant others is the best way to improve a relationship. Experts on relationship tips suggest that you should devote at least half an hour everyday to your family members or your significant other.

One of the best relationship tips for couples suggest that you spend at least one day every month that you and your partner will be exclusively together. Time is a gift that nobody can buy, and unsurprisingly, time is also the most important and affectionate gift that you can give your partner, family members, and friends.

Compromise
Compromise is often believed to be a bad word, especially by idealists. But listening to the other person and taking into serious consideration the things that they want is not one of the worst relationship tips to follow. Do have in mind that you cannot expect to have your way all the time.

Communicate
Encouraging your partner, family members, or friends to talk about things with you is one of the best relationship tips that you can find. Show appreciation whenever he or she trusts you with feelings, thoughts, and ideas. Follow the other relationship tips of give and take, and return the favour. Communication means that there are two people engaged in a dialogue, not a single person in a monologue.



Enhancing communication is one of the most used relationship tips, because effectively letting the other person in the relationship know about your needs, wants, and wishes will definitely take the effort out of guessing – and redirect this effort to fulfil you and your partner’s wishes.

Appreciate
Many experts on relationship tips suggest that you appreciate your partner, family members, or friends, and all the things that they do for you. Do not, however, expect them to say a compliment back.

A compliment or a simple “thank you” does not take as much effort as other relationship tips would – do not scrimp on it. Making a person feel appreciated and needed is one of the simplest relationship tips out there; make sure that you do it for the people you love.



Smile
A smile is one of mankind’s ways to make the people around them feel better. A smile is a silent comfort for people, and experts on relationship tips say that you should reward your partner, family members, and friends with it often. Smiling is also often contagious – and if you want your collective lives to be happier, do smile more often and learn to have fun together

Be honest
honesty. Being honest does not end with not lying to your partner – it also means that you should be honest about whatever you feel, think, or wish. If something bothers you, do not hesitate to say it. Your loved ones cannot read your mind. You cannot expect them to know exactly what you are thinking or feeling.

This is very important, because many people tend to hide what they really feel or think. Plus, if you keep everything bottled up, you will just end up resenting your partner and eventually destroying your relationship.

Acceptance
This is one of the relationship tips that people find corny or overrated, but this is also one of the relationship tips that people tend to forget. Once you love a person, you have to accept all the little unlovable characteristics and quirks. You cannot change a person,only a person who wants to change can change.

Punishment does not work
Punishing your partner for something wrong he or she might have done is not in the list of healthy relationship tips – in fact, it is in the list of the worst relationship tips ever. While punishment might make you feel better, this does not make the situation any better.



Money isn’t everything
This is one of the practical relationship tips that people, especially couples, tend to forget. Money is perhaps the number one reason of arguments between couples.

Yes, money is useful, especially when you are keeping a home – but it does not make your world go around. Stop fighting about money. Sit down, set a budget, and never take arguments about money seriously.

Relationship Vision
It’s interesting the number of couples I’ve seen who don’t seem to have the big picture of their relationship in mind. Where do they see themselves in ten year? What are their relationship goals? Couples who have created a relationship vision for themselves know where they’re going as they’ve planned it together. They get joy out of reaching for their goals as a team and are less likely to be derailed by surprises down the line.

 

Dating too soon after the divorce:
I learned this lesson early. I only dated because my ex had a girlfriend, and it was my way to personally retaliate. Who did it hurt? Me! I was a dating disaster since I wasn’t truly ready. Starting to date again can be an overwhelming experience. My self-esteem was damaged and I felt stuck. I needed to work through my personal issues before I could be successful in dating. Fortunately, I had the help of a wonderful professional counselor who helped me move forward. Many women go straight to their girlfriends for advice on dating and relationships when a professional source is needed. An unbiased professional — someone who sees issues objectively — is a better choice. A coach will tell you the truth about your readiness to date. A well-meaning friend may not be so honest. My advice is, before you join the dating boomers, seek out professional help from a trained counselor or coach like myself. In this case, you need a coach more than you need to eat another chocolate bar with a girlfriend!



Being afraid to go solo:
Solo is the way to go when you are looking to meet someone to date. Although we love being with our girlfriends, constantly traveling with a group of gal pals is a recipe for disaster. I know it takes time to feel comfortable traveling alone, so you need to practice. I suggest taking a class, going to a show, concert, movie or opera alone. Take yourself out for dinner and sit near the bar area. If you’re feeling confident, have dinner at the bar. If you spot someone of interest, catch his eye for a few seconds and smile. Perhaps he will come over and introduce himself. If he doesn’t, count it as practice. A woman alone is approachable, confident and mysterious. The more you practice going out alone, the easier it is. I tell clients, if you want to meet an interesting man, be an interesting woman. Remember, men are attracted to women who are independent and fun — women who have interesting lives of their own.



Being someone other than your “genuine self” on a first date:
Talking about work may feel safe, but it’s not a good first date conversation. If you had a bad day, stay home unless you can bring a positive, approachable attitude along. Before going out, I put on some upbeat or romantic music, dance by myself in my home and think happy thoughts. I leave my past in the past. If you don’t have time to go home prior, dress for work in something “dateable” like a wrap dress, a pencil skirt, or a fabulous sweater or satin blouse that makes you feel pretty. Focus on a positive mood, be aware of your posture and stand tall. Add your favorite perfume, freshen your makeup and hair and smile. Your smile is always your most important beauty accessory and a welcoming appearance enhancer.

Breaking plans to date:
It’s a mistake to break plans with girlfriends or alter your schedule if dating conflicts occur. Men don’t change their schedules and you shouldn’t either. Do keep doing what you enjoy and incorporate new experiences into a broadening social scene. I attend movie classes alone and add new classes each year to my schedule, no matter what is going on in my life. Men are attracted to women who have a vibrant life and who take care of themselves outside and inside. They will only like you more. Always nurture your spirit and do things that give yourself pleasure.



Burning bridges if you don’t feel “sparks”:
Chemistry is elusive as you date. Be patient. Recently I went on a date and had a great evening, but there were no sparks. So what? I decided to accept a second date because we had fun together. Unfortunately, there is still no chemistry. My advice to my “dating self” was to make my date into my friend. The suggestion may offend some men, but take the opportunity to be good company. I know from experience that some men are happy with this idea. Men enjoy the companionship of a woman. There is no pressure; just friendship. Try it. You may be surprised with the results. What can start out as a friendship may even turn into romance. Sparks can disappear, but friendship is forever.

 

make i get ur life   u waste  product... 

Ever wonder if your man is secretly hoping to end your relationship? Here are clues that you’re about to lose him – and how to get things back on the right track.



1. Critical conditions
The Everly Brothers nailed it – ‘starting to criticise little things’ you do is the most common sign your man has lost that lovin’ feeling. When you find yourself berated for everything, from the way you chew your food through to your choice of career, take notice. This behaviour has been identified by psychologists as, ‘building a case against the partner you want to leave’, and is often a way of removing guilt (for example, if your man has found someone else).

Block his exit: Instead of apologising, bite back with a sassy, funny reply. ‘Forgive me, O Great One,’ and go about your life as you like. This show of self-confidence will re-ignite his respect for you.

2. The ‘eye-narrow’
Ex FBI-interrogator Joe Navarro has written many books on body language, and has identified that when we look at something that arouses uncomfortable feelings in us – like guilt, or displeasure, or upset – we unconsciously narrow our eyes. Next time your partner greets you, look at his eyes: if he seems to squint, pay attention. But if he greets you with raised eyebrows and dilated pupils, chill – they’re universal signs he’s seen something he likes.

Block his exit: Disarm him by asking if there’s anything he’d like to talk about. Squinting eyes are a sign of repressed feelings – encourage him to open up.

3. His feet face the door
Again according to Navarro, our feet are the most honest part of our bodies. From childhood, we’ve been taught to ‘put on a happy face’ about things, but we don’t consciously control our feet. When you’re with your man, see where his feet are facing because that’s a sign of where he wants to go. If they’re towards you – awesome! But if they’re pointing out of the door, be prepared for the rest of him to follow.

Block his exit: If your man’s toes want space, give it to them. Back away for a week and keep yourself busy with your own fun life. A little distance might be all it takes to get him walking back your way.



4. He starts breaking dates
When a man cancels plans with you, pay attention. Barring emergencies – his mum’s ill, he’s in hospital or his favourite team are playing at home – his number one place to be should be by your side. If he begins to avoid opportunities to get together, it’s a sign he’d rather be somewhere else.

Block his exit: Never nag him if he cancels a plan, because then he’ll feel more justified for doing it. Instead, express sadness and then go about your life. Avoid clingy texts. If he cancels two dates in succession, pull back for a week.

5. He changes his pattern
If your man doesn’t text you for a day, it’s no big deal. But if he has always texted you every day then suddenly stops, sit up. Any violent change in pattern could signal something’s changed in his heart, too. Do take into account what else is going on in his world (women often forget this) – is his work hectic, his home-life disrupted? If so, relax. But if there seems to be no reason, pay attention.

Block his exit: Keep your interactions with him light and fun. Don’t initiate! If he’s weighing up whether or not he wants to be your man, give him space to do it. Don’t trust your instincts to bridge the gap.

6. He avoids intimacy
He stays up later than you do, doesn’t sleep over, or offers his cheek to be kissed rather than his mouth. Oops. When a man’s sex drive diminishes, it’s a signal his feelings are flaccid. Another sign: when he cuddles you, he pats you on the back. This is a body-language giveaway that always means, ‘I want this hug to end now.’

Block his exit: Never, ever nag. Pretend you haven’t noticed the lack of passion, and just watch him for other signals listed here. If he has two or more of them, realise he’s drifting away. Sit him down for the Talk.

7. His friends seem uncomfortable around you
When his friends go from welcoming to distant, it means they feel uncomfortable – usually because your man has told them he’s unhappy with you. They won’t speak out, but they’ll back away from you out of mixed loyalties and a terror you’ll ask them why your man seems so miserable lately.

Block his exit: Realise anything you say to his friends will get reported back to him, so don’t interrogate them about your bloke. Instead, try to relax and have fun like normal. Even if it doesn’t stop him leaving, it will ensure his friends all beg him to take you back.

Yes OO! We no go gree oo, we no go gree

   

The Girlfriend Test; If She Doesn’t Pass Give Her The Boot!

THE TRAIT: Responsibility

THE TEST: play the blame game. Next time she rear-ends someone during rush hour, listen to her post-game analysis. “Successful couples focus on positives,” says Dr Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist and the author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men. “Is she the eternal victim? Or does she accept responsibility?”

THE TRAIT: Flexibility

THE TEST: cook dinner at her place. If she’s a control freak in her kitchen, she’ll have a hard time letting you take the reins elsewhere in life. Even if she’s a gourmet, she should still accept your different way of chopping carrots, reveals Pat Love, author of The Truth About Love.



THE TRAIT: Patience

THE TEST: talk about work. The time she made an intern cry may make you laugh, but that attitude won’t stay in cubicle land. “If she rips into a co-worker for no reason, watch out. It shows what she’s like under pressure,” warns Dr John Van Epp, creator of the “How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk” program (nojerks.com).

THE TRAIT: Empathy

THE TEST: take her shopping. Malls are buffets of human interaction – peeved customers, airhead shop assistants, mums with kids, all begging for vitriolic commentary. “You want to see empathy for the stressed and clueless. If she thinks most solutions are clear-cut, expect the same absolutism with you,” cautions Haltzman.

THE TRAIT: Adaptability

THE TEST: make last-minute plans. Sure, you’d planned a chick flick, but the only film not sold out is Scary Movie 19. Relationships change, so see if she can roll with it. Another time, show up 15 minutes late. If things like that set her off, “she’ll have no problem finding ways that you disappoint her”, explains Haltzman.

THE TRAIT: Confidence

THE TEST: remove the spotlight. Take her to a party, then watch her mingle. Does she seek male attention? Could be needy. Dodges women? Not good: women “deliver necessary honesty” to other women, says Love. Also, she knows that your female friends will offer a realistic review of her. Talking with them shows balls.

 

There were three men living together in London. An Afro-American, a West Indian and a Nigerian. They were all starving because they didn't have money to buy food.

However upon coming close to a posh London restaurant in this classy neighborhood, they decided to come up with a plan.
The Afro-American went in first. After being seated, he ordered a three course meal with white wine. When he had finished the meal, the waiter came by with the bill. "LISTEN MY MAN, I ALREADY PAID YOU!" - the Afro-American shouted! The waiter was very confused because he could not remember being paid. But because he did not want to cause any trouble, he let the brother leave.

Five minutes later, the West Indian walked into the same restaurant and ordered a five course meal with red wine. When he was finished eating, the waiter came by to collect the money for the food. "HEY, HEY, LOOK AT ME CROSSES. BUT AH PAID YOU ALREADY!" - the West Indian shouted. This time the manager came and had to calm down the West Indian, because he did not want anything to upset the other customers. He let the guy go.

Ten minutes later, the Nigerian walked in. And you know how we are. He sat down. Lit up a cigarette, and ordered the most expensive meal on the menu, plus two bottles of Beer. After he had finished, the waiter came to collect the money for the meal, But before the Nigerian could say anything, the waiter spoke to him."Sir, I have been having all sorts of problems all day and I can't understand it. Two other people like you came in earlier and ate, and they say that they paid me but I don't remember getting any money from them so, " Before he could finish, the Nigerian interrupted, rather emphatically, "OGA I SORRY FOR YOU OOOO. BUT DAT NA YOUR PROBLEM. I JUST WANT YOU TO GIVE ME MY CHANGE!!"