I think I'm having a self-esteem/confidence crisis. Recently, a friend of two years who I was getting closer with just dropped me like a rock through a text message. I'm single again, but it's more than that.
I'm 29 going to 30 and have yet to be in a real relationship, I'm very uncomfortable talking to strange women (and it's obvious to everyone around me), I have like this aura around me that tells people I'm single, and seems to tell girls that my confidence isn't good and I'm uninteresting. The other thing is that it scares me to realize that a women's interest level can work like a switch and go from on to off if they think someone better comes around. It doesn't give me much confidence that if another girl falls into the picture, the same thing won't happen.
So my question for you is "How can I really improve my self esteem and confidence given these things.
I know its something you can Google, or read in a book, but I feel I need professional help because not all those articles really works. I desperately want to be able to date like a normal person, but I'm scared I'm heading down the road of the 40 year old virgin.
Any help is appreciated.
Sincerely,
Mr. X
A confidence crisis is triggered by setbacks like losing an important business order, break-up of a valued relationship or losing a job. When this happens, even a small thing can send you over the edge, creating an unwanted crisis. To protect yourself from such a situation, you need to take control of yourself, and your life.
You must learn to ignore external stimuli. Dont be affected by what people say or are likely to say about you. More important, you should not be worried about failure. Believe in the old adage that you cannot win always. There are bound to be failures, and setbacks in life, despite your best efforts. Take them in your stride. If need be, sleep over your failures. You will wake up feeling good, and confident. Dont hesitate to let others know that you can handle your affairs. This will build your self-confidence. if possible or need be...Maintain a diary, and note down all positive things that happen during the course of the day. You will be surprised to note the number of positive things that are happening around you, which you missed earlier. This will help you think positively, and dispel your doubts. This will also break the stranglehold of negative thoughts that had lowered your self-esteem, and generated doubts about your abilities and skills. Repeat to yourself every day that you are getting better at what you do, and feel the difference. Take some time to think about your relationships. If a friend is having a bad influence on your self-confidence or if the relationship is more of a burden than a pleasure, you are better off if you stop meeting that person. Instead, try to build new relationships with people you like and admire, and who are supportive of you. Ideally, form a group of supportive friends and give them your support in turn. This will do your self-confidence a world of good. Stop wasting your energy on things that can go wrong. Think about the worst thing that could possibly happen. You will realize that it is not the end of the world. Focus on the subjects over which you have control and reduce your exposure to events over which you have little or no control. Monitor your internal dialogue, and silence the negative voice that keeps criticizing you. A useful strategy is to visualize a situation that bothers or worries you. Jot down these points. Think of people who have successfully crossed these hurdles, and ask yourself if they could do it then why cant I? Think of yourself as someone who is brimming with confidence, and is ready to take up the challenge. Make this a habit. You will find that you too can overcome these obstacles.Self-confidence is more than a simple state of mind. It also flows from your physical well-being. Regular exercise adds to your energy levels, and makes you feel fitter and confident. Similarly, dressing well adds several notches to your self-confidence. Even simple things like sleeping well will make you feel better. In contrast, drinking to drive away you woes will add to your unhappiness. You must also learn to speak up. When you hesitate to speak, you are doing yourself a great disfavor. Very often, you become a prisoner of your shyness. You want to speak, but your shyness does not let you do so. This eats into your self-esteem and self-confidence. Dont allow this situation to continue. Always remember that you may know more than your colleague who is the centre of attention because he/she has a view on every subject. Others may find your views more interesting, if only they heard them. Also, dont think that you can change your fortunes overnight. It takes time to change things.
What is needed is your belief in yourself. It is a great help in overcoming any confidence crisis.
Life is 2short to wake up in the morning with regrets. LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS*SOPHIEBABY* :*
| Posted: at 10-05-2012 09:25 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero |
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..out of point..confidence not physical appearance..d confidence comes from u...it should be one attribute a man should have .....
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