Although cases of family discord are always drama-filled, but it became more complicated beyond the everyday occurrence when the Ajalas came to court. Among the litany of complaints, the head of the family, Owolabi Ajala, A Lagos-based trader, alleged that his wife, Sikiratu Owolabi, denied him sex for over 10 years. The embittered 60 year-old father of three who further alleged that while he was being denied his due conjugal rights, his wife was busy giving it free to someone else who turned out to be her ex boyfriend.
He prayed that their 23 year-old marriage be dissolved by the Grade B Customary Court at Ijanikin, Oto, Lagos.
According to Owolabi, the couple got married in March 1989 according to Islamic rites at Ahmadiyya Mosque, Ebute Meta, where he paid a dowry of N800 for the divorced mother of three, at the time.
“Shortly after our union, Sikiratu started displaying her true colours. She never showed me care or respect as the man of the house.
Neither did she extend same to any member of my family”, the distraught Owolabi told the court. At that time, his wife was an employee of DHL Company and thus was more financially stable than he was. This he alleged gave her the upper hand to ride roughshod over him in their home.
He gave a specific instance. “I had a financial problem and humbly sought her help, she never obliged my request. That notwithstanding, I never relented in contributing in the little way I could to maintain the family. But instead of appreciating my efforts, she manipulated the minds of the children against me,” he lamented.
Looking straight into the eyes of his estranged wife who was standing directly opposite him right inside the court, Owolabi narrated another bitter experience.
“Aside the rejection and pains Sikiratu made me pass through, she also meted out ill-treatment to my late mother which I cannot forget. Before my aged mother passed to the great beyond, she was very ill and had to stay with me for proper care and attention. But instead of better health and quick recovery, my mother died out of neglect, because my wife never showed any concern”. The situation was as worse as for him to employ a house help to look after his mother despite having a wife and grown up kids at home.
The court heard the crux of the matter to the effect that peace efforts made by the aged man over a period of 10 years were truncated by his obstinate wife who went as far as to ban him from her bed, only for him to discover that she had been giving his right to someone else. His words:
“For the past 10 years, I haven’t enjoyed sex with my wife, we have been practically living like strangers in the same house. But I heard from a reliable source that she has been gracing the bed of her ex-husband; the man she had three children for but left him 25 years ago. When I confronted her on my findings, she didn’t deny it but in her characteristic arrogant way brushed it aside.”
Owolabi hit the heart of the matter squarely: “Worse still, she has polluted the minds of the children so deep that they joined their mother to fight me. My first daughter, Yinka, dared to follow her mother’s footsteps by grabbing my penis when we had a little misunderstanding. She used her fingers to inflict bruises on my private part.”
Avowing that he was tired and frustrated by the absurdity of their union, which had forced him to resort to taking sleeping pills every night to help soothe his nerves, Owolabi begged the court to dissolve their union and save him from untimely death.
His wife who had since packed out of their matrimonial home neither confirmed nor denied the allegations leveled against her. The mother of six unremorsefully told the court she had nothing much to say but would also wish that the marriage be dissolved. “I am equally tired of this marriage, please let the honorable court beg Owolabi to have the custody of his children and leave me alone,” she asserted.
After listening to both parties, the President of the court, Chief S. K. Hussein dissolved the union.
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