There are many things your husband would love for you to know about him but he just won’t tell you. Is he purposely not sharing these things with you or has it been awhile since you had a deep conversation together? The answer will be different for each couple, but here are five things he would like you to know:
He loves you. You are his world, though you may not think so. He does not always have an easy time expressing his feelings or sharing verbally, though he does show you in other ways. While you may prefer a hug or words of endearment, he may demonstrate his love when he buys you your favorite snack or mows the lawn.
He is embarrassed by how you talk about him with your friends and/or in public. When you make a joke about how he can’t find anything, that he doesn’t listen to what you say, or that he is a hermit, he doesn’t find it funny. When you criticize him in public he feels shamed. After a while, these remarks begin to chip away at his trust in you as his loving partner.
He wants to be #1. Although he loves your devotion to the children, he sometimes feels left out. He wants to feel more important than the kids so that when he is talking to you and the children interrupt, you put him first instead of attending to them.
He is your full partner in parenting but he doesn’t want to compete for supermom’s attention. He wishes you would take interest in him, spend time with him, and go out once in a while. Showing your kids that your marriage comes first is a valuable lesson that will benefit them in the long-run even though they may be “kicking and screaming” when you leave them with a baby sitter.
His sense of self-worth is directly connected to his abilities to provide for you. If your husband is currently out of a job and you are experiencing tension in your relationship, it is no wonder why. He needs you to understand how hard it is for him when he can’t provide because he feels like a failure. When you get anxious about your financial situation it makes him feel even worse because he has let you down. There is nothing more satisfying for a man than to provide for his family. Realize that money is an extremely charged issue for both of you. Any discussion about the topic will be smoother if you are able to be more sensitive and focus on crunching numbers instead of battling fears.
He wants to be appreciated. He wants to know that you appreciate him for everything he does for you. He wants to know that you appreciate him for who he is. When you complain about all of the things he doesn’t do right, it is hard for him to feel that you value him. Keep in mind Dr. John Gottman’s 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interchanges. For every one negative remark you make, try to think of five positive things to say, to counteract the negative effects of a critical word. While we may feel so busy with life’s to-do list that we forget to express our appreciation, we seem to find time to share a complaint or frustration with our spouse. Try carving out a few minutes each day before bed where you share with your husband what you appreciate about him and why.
These five points are not all that surprising or profound, but you’ll be amazed at the positive and immediate effect they can have on your marriage. By accepting the way your husband loves you, being careful about criticizing him, making him #1, monitoring your money fears, and expressing appreciation for him, you are showing him that you are willing to meet him half way towards a better and more fulfilling relationship.
Posted: at 20-02-2013 10:27 AM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
daveson2020 at 20-02-2013 10:39 AM (12 years ago) (m)
crap
Posted: at 20-02-2013 10:39 AM (12 years ago) | Newbie
sophiebaby at 20-02-2013 11:22 AM (12 years ago) (f)
I agree, but do not fully agree with 1 and 3(He loves you & wants to be No 1) Do they (men) love their wives sacrificially so she gloom's as God planned? Ephesians 5:25-27 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. Paul begins with the statement, “Husbands, love your wives.” It sounds like such a simple statement, but what does he mean? What does it mean for a hubby to love his wife? does it mean he should just provide for her and go perambulating all beer parlous,hotel rooms, club houses with a teenager? You talk as if men of this day and age portray the word love as it's said: or do you think that loving your wife meant sacrificing yourself and your desires to make her happy. It’s true that true love involves kindness and sacrifice, but it doesn’t stop there. Christ’s first goal is that He might sanctify her To sanctify means to set apart. When you marry someone you set them apart from the world. They are set apart for special protection, special care, for special attention, for a special purpose. When you get married, that is what you have done. You have taken her out of the world and set her apart because you want to devote special attention to her. What is the goal of this special attention? Christ’s second goal is to present her in glory having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, Christ’s third goal is that she should be holy and blameless ...Christ loves the church and is committed to removing all the blemishes so He can present her in all her glory and beauty to Himself. This is the purpose of love. To bring about the perfection of the beloved. This is not a new idea. You might recall Ephesians 1:4 which says, “He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.” This illustrates how God’s love is directed towards our improvement and making us beautiful. Love is not wanting someone else to be happy. Love demands the perfecting of the beloved; that the mere ‘kindness’ which tolerates anything except suffering in its object is, in that respect, at the opposite pole from Love. So the goal of love is not just kindness motivated by a desire to make your wife happy. The goal is to build her up to bring about God’s purpose in her. How do we know what God’s purpose for her is? 1 Peter 3:7 says “Live with your wives according to knowledge…” In other words know her. Know what she needs. Know what she is good at and what she is not so good at. Know her talents and help her develop them. How do you as a man get to know your wife? By involvement. Do things together, talk about significant things, etc. If Your goal is the perfecting of Your wife, there are going to be times when YOU need to confront HER and deal with a problem. NO BE TO DEY TALK LOVE HERE ANYHOW, IF YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO BE YOUR NO 1, MAKE HER YOUR NO 1, I LOVE MY WIFE , NO BE FOR MOUTH NO MAKE ME VEX BRING MY BIG BIBLE COME PREACH FOR U O
Life is 2short to wake up in the morning with regrets. LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS*SOPHIEBABY* :*
Posted: at 20-02-2013 11:22 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
I agree, but do not fully agree with 1 and 3(He loves you & wants to be No 1) Do they (men) love their wives sacrificially so she gloom's as God planned? Ephesians 5:25-27 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. Paul begins with the statement, “Husbands, love your wives.” It sounds like such a simple statement, but what does he mean? What does it mean for a hubby to love his wife? does it mean he should just provide for her and go perambulating all beer parlous,hotel rooms, club houses with a teenager? You talk as if men of this day and age portray the word love as it's said: or do you think that loving your wife meant sacrificing yourself and your desires to make her happy. It’s true that true love involves kindness and sacrifice, but it doesn’t stop there. Christ’s first goal is that He might sanctify her To sanctify means to set apart. When you marry someone you set them apart from the world. They are set apart for special protection, special care, for special attention, for a special purpose. When you get married, that is what you have done. You have taken her out of the world and set her apart because you want to devote special attention to her. What is the goal of this special attention? Christ’s second goal is to present her in glory having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, Christ’s third goal is that she should be holy and blameless ...Christ loves the church and is committed to removing all the blemishes so He can present her in all her glory and beauty to Himself. This is the purpose of love. To bring about the perfection of the beloved. This is not a new idea. You might recall Ephesians 1:4 which says, “He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.” This illustrates how God’s love is directed towards our improvement and making us beautiful. Love is not wanting someone else to be happy. Love demands the perfecting of the beloved; that the mere ‘kindness’ which tolerates anything except suffering in its object is, in that respect, at the opposite pole from Love. So the goal of love is not just kindness motivated by a desire to make your wife happy. The goal is to build her up to bring about God’s purpose in her. How do we know what God’s purpose for her is? 1 Peter 3:7 says “Live with your wives according to knowledge…” In other words know her. Know what she needs. Know what she is good at and what she is not so good at. Know her talents and help her develop them. How do you as a man get to know your wife? By involvement. Do things together, talk about significant things, etc. If Your goal is the perfecting of Your wife, there are going to be times when YOU need to confront HER and deal with a problem. NO BE TO DEY TALK LOVE HERE ANYHOW, IF YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO BE YOUR NO 1, MAKE HER YOUR NO 1, I LOVE MY WIFE , NO BE FOR MOUTH NO MAKE ME VEX BRING MY BIG BIBLE COME PREACH FOR U O
what's with the sermon?the poster is talking about normal and good husbands,not the exceptionals..calm down girl are you facing some marital probs or sth....?
Posted: at 20-02-2013 01:18 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
sophiebaby at 20-02-2013 01:44 PM (12 years ago) (f)
Quote from: Tyahaya on 20-02-2013 01:18 PM
what's with the sermon?the poster is talking about normal and good husbands,not the exceptionals..calm down girl are you facing some marital probs or sth....?
like sey i see u LIVE i for just slap u left and right, centre and back.. i look like hajiya for ur eye? if i preach for u u go leave ur religion by fire by force.. who is a normal and good husband? if u can read very well u would understand where am driving my range rover sports to.. i pointed out where am not comfortable with, and u dey quote me sey u go sch pass abi wetin.. common sense is not common Tyahaya . read and understand. Marital problem Kor Marital probs ni.. abeg shoe get size, go find ur size for market.
Life is 2short to wake up in the morning with regrets. LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS*SOPHIEBABY* :*
Posted: at 20-02-2013 01:44 PM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
You talk as if men of this day and age portray the word love as it's said: or do you think that loving your wife meant sacrificing yourself and your desires to make her happy. It’s true that true love involves kindness and sacrifice, but it doesn’t stop there. Christ’s first goal is that He might sanctify her To sanctify means to set apart. When you marry someone you set them apart from the world. They are set apart for special protection, special care, for special attention, for a special purpose. When you get married, that is what you have done. You have taken her out of the world and set her apart because you want to devote special attention to her. What is the goal of this special attention? Christ’s second goal is to present her in glory having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, Christ’s third goal is that she should be holy and blameless ...Christ loves the church and is committed to removing all the blemishes so He can present her in all her glory and beauty to Himself. This is the purpose of love. To bring about the perfection of the beloved. This is not a new idea. You might recall Ephesians 1:4 which says, “He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.” This illustrates how God’s love is directed towards our improvement and making us beautiful. Love is not wanting someone else to be happy. Love demands the perfecting of the beloved; that the mere ‘kindness’ which tolerates anything except suffering in its object is, in that respect, at the opposite pole from Love. So the goal of love is not just kindness motivated by a desire to make your wife happy. The goal is to build her up to bring about God’s purpose in her. How do we know what God’s purpose for her is? 1 Peter 3:7 says “Live with your wives according to knowledge…” In other words know her. Know what she needs. Know what she is good at and what she is not so good at. Know her talents and help her develop them. How do you as a man get to know your wife? By involvement. Do things together, talk about significant things, etc. If Your goal is the perfecting of Your wife, there are going to be times when YOU need to confront HER and deal with a problem. NO BE TO DEY TALK LOVE HERE ANYHOW, IF YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO BE YOUR NO 1, MAKE HER YOUR NO 1, I LOVE MY WIFE , NO BE FOR MOUTH 
NO MAKE ME VEX BRING MY BIG BIBLE COME PREACH FOR U O 
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