Q. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A. He's all right now.
Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.
Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
A. Right where you left him.
Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
A. Ugly sheep.
Q. How do you double the value of a Geo Metro?
A. Fill it with gas.
Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef.
Q. What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A. The taste!
Q. What does a skeleton get when he goes to a bar?
A. A beer and a mop.
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