![-]( "smithengal") smithengal at 11-04-2011 11:32 PM (14 years ago)  (f) Not all controlling men r bad,, besides many women need a man like dat.
It's part of a woman's marriage vow to 'honour and obey'. Controlling your wife is one thing but being abusive is another thing. I think the question posed is ill-defined. | Posted: at 11-04-2011 11:32 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming | |
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Why do Women Fail to Identify Controlling Men? The controlling men, when approaching any women for the first time are very polite and charming-exactly opposite of what they actually are. They take all the precautions to hide their weak points and shower the women with love and gifts to win their hearts. Even the most intelligent and educated women are known to get deceived by such men. Another reason why some women keep tolerating controlling men is that they have an inferiority complex. These women think that they will not get another partner if they walk out of this relationship. This makes them to keep living with these controlling men. Some women are of the opinion that they would be able to improve the behavior of their partner over the period of time by making him aware of his mistakes and wrong deeds. Though this might be successful in some cases, it can fail terribly in some others, thus making the life of the woman even more difficult. There are many women who continue the relationship with bad men just because they 'still love him'. More on: | Posted: at 11-04-2011 11:50 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming | |
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![-]( "sweetrae") sweetrae at 11-04-2011 11:58 PM (14 years ago) (f) it's becos women think they can save/change men... i think it's known from d beginning of d relationship if d person is abusive...most women just tend to overlook it or try to wish it away... nd i think abusive men seek out women they know are weak... | Posted: at 11-04-2011 11:58 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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![-]( "Beauti4") Beauti4 at 12-04-2011 12:00 AM (14 years ago) (f) A controlling men, will get problem with your style of dressing. He/she will hang the phone on u at a slightest provocation. They r impatient. They wants to knw what u did all day. They pay attention to who is at the background while on the phone with u. They don't want u to stay close to your family. he/she will say "eehh...honey i don't want family wahala oh...let them mine their business while we mine ours" They always say, does it looks like i care? They r too proud | Posted: at 12-04-2011 12:00 AM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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![-]( "chimeskan") chimeskan at 12-04-2011 06:13 AM (14 years ago) (m) passing
What Are Friendz For ? | Posted: at 12-04-2011 06:13 AM (14 years ago) | Upcoming | |
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He/she keeps track of your relationships. A controlling person will try to cause trouble between u & ur family or friends.This is in order to isolate u from others.
Does the person ignore ur experience?Controllers attempt to define ur reality.If u say u're tired & d person says u're not, that's a good sign he or she is a controlling person.
Notice people who get frustrated with normal questions.Controlling ppl often assume that they understand how u think, even when they actually don't.They may become frustrated because their constructed image of u is at odds with what u say.
Be on d lookout for moodiness. Ppl with moody personalities r often unhappy with their own lives & try to improve their situation by controlling others.
Be aware of people who don't seem to understand d word "no" & who will insist until they wear u down to make u give in.
Consider if u r often expected to change ur plans for this person.Let's say u have ur day all planned out & then u receive a phone call from a friend,& u tell them ur plans.The person wants to join in with ur plans,with d exception that ur time doesn't work well for them,or maybe that isn't d place they want to go.The next thing that u know,ur plans have totally changed.U end up seeing a movie that u didn't care to see,at a time that u didn't really care to go.
Listen for compliments.Often ppl with control issues r not very good at giving sincere compliments.They don't want u to feel good about yourself because it may take control & attention away from them.
Be on d lookout for not only moodiness,but temper outbursts by d other person when u disagree with them or don't do exactly what they want u to do. In their minds,u r challenging their authority over u.
But,keep in mind, just because someone is opinionated doesn't mean they r controlling. A good test to tell d difference between some1 who is just very opinionated or controlling is if they willingly accept or tolerate differences between u and them and don't try to change any part of ur core person or personality.
If u really love this person things can be much more difficult.Most ppl who r controlling always throw in d argument the words "U r d problem" or U have a problem." Nothing is ever their fault.
They always use words like " do this" ", "if u leave", "u need to...", etc.
They can be very generous & seem to give u lots of things.So u always feel like u're benefiting from them in some way & so owe them something. They then use that obligation u feel towards them to control u.
Hmmmmmmmm! QUITE REVEALING 
Live and let live! | Posted: at 12-04-2011 07:44 AM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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Gr8 stuff BS | Posted: at 12-04-2011 08:12 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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![-]( "simele") simele at 12-04-2011 09:22 AM (14 years ago) (m) some don't have love for her again but can't tell to go so they use the power to force her out | Posted: at 12-04-2011 09:22 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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![-]( "sophiebaby") sophiebaby at 12-04-2011 09:29 AM (14 years ago) (f) Why do Women Fail to Identify Controlling Men?
The controlling men, when approaching any women for the first time are very polite and charming-exactly opposite of what they actually are. They take all the precautions to hide their weak points and shower the women with love and gifts to win their hearts. Even the most intelligent and educated women are known to get deceived by such men.
Another reason why some women keep tolerating controlling men is that they have an inferiority complex. These women think that they will not get another partner if they walk out of this relationship. This makes them to keep living with these controlling men.
Some women are of the opinion that they would be able to improve the behavior of their partner over the period of time by making him aware of his mistakes and wrong deeds. Though this might be successful in some cases, it can fail terribly in some others, thus making the life of the woman even more difficult. There are many women who continue the relationship with bad men just because they 'still love him'. More on:
Am loving this
Life is 2short to wake up in the morning with regrets. LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS*SOPHIEBABY* :* | Posted: at 12-04-2011 09:29 AM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
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![-]( "sophiebaby") sophiebaby at 12-04-2011 09:32 AM (14 years ago) (f) 1. What are the controlling men warning signs & symptoms or characteristics of the personality of controlling men. - divide and conquer- number one he take away yur support mechanisms by causing seprating yu from yur frns n family.
then he ensure that yu r totally reliant on him. He starts with a soft approach of letting yu know that no one but him has got yur back and he is very happy with that role. He wants to build a life with yu, yu and him against the world; together forever or sum other BS he is cooking up.
Once yu r comfortable here (some women r there after three months others take longer). Then comes the bad stuff-reminding yu that yu will neva amt to anything w/o him. Afterall, look around yu, yu r trash n no one else wants to be around yu. Then of corse he apologises cuz yu know how much of a temper he has.... Now this is the point yu can put yur foot down- he is testing yu.
then a slap wen yu do sumthing wrong- he apologise n tells yu that yu r his life, he will treat yu n cause conflicting emotions in yu cuz he must luv yu. perhaps yu gotta b more careful cuz he is angry n as his gf yu gotta b careful yu dont trigger his anger. but that is just the beginning....
2. Why do Women Fail to Identify Controlling Men? low self esteem, daddy issues to name a few cool
Life is 2short to wake up in the morning with regrets. LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS*SOPHIEBABY* :* | Posted: at 12-04-2011 09:32 AM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
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Alright for the married men............passing | Posted: at 12-04-2011 02:42 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming | |
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![-]( "Linjo") Linjo at 12-04-2011 02:59 PM (14 years ago) (f)  its bad, if its still in the relationship level, i will advice that such relationship should stop but if it is marriage the person being abuse should be prayer ful its the work of the enemy. generally speaking if a man is the controlling type it is not healthy for the relationship. it will cause too much haert ache | Posted: at 12-04-2011 02:59 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie | |
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Gr8 stuff BS
Live and let live! | Posted: at 12-04-2011 03:10 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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![-]( "segar") segar at 12-04-2011 04:49 PM (14 years ago) (m) Contrlin type is nt ok,wen we r talkin abt contrl,we r talkin abt xcercisin power,authority n dominatin.which surpos nt to b find in relationship,relationship is a jorny of 2 pple which 1 of dem has 2 take d lead,n d best pson 2 take d lead is man.bcos is biblica aswel,man should nt ash on girls.always give dem chance 2 xpres n give der own opinion,2 god head r beta dan.luv is nt luv wen its not equal @ both side but luv is luv only wen equal @ both side.cheers. | Posted: at 12-04-2011 04:49 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie | |
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![-]( "sophiebaby") sophiebaby at 12-04-2011 04:58 PM (14 years ago) (f) k
Life is 2short to wake up in the morning with regrets. LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS*SOPHIEBABY* :* | Posted: at 12-04-2011 04:58 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
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![-]( "malomskie") malomskie at 12-04-2011 06:18 PM (14 years ago) (m) Man will always want to be man no matter what, bt when it comes to abusing the privilege of being a man on your wife, i don't bid the ideal. But what of some women that take their man for granted, they need strong man to handle them really. | Posted: at 12-04-2011 06:18 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie | |
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i do agree me are bad news but not all,in my opinion this abuse happen mostly to those ladies who go for material things n are so selective when it comes to handsome-ness of there prefered husband to be.to men its more worse,1=if i was poor when i got married n got wealth later,then a second wife or a concubine will come to light n tht can cause abuse to my first wife whom i hv straggled with to get the wealth.2-if i was rich when i got married n my wife coming frm a poor background please fill the blank spaces----------------------------- for me if u got the idea | Posted: at 12-04-2011 10:11 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie | |
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He/she keeps track of your relationships. A controlling person will try to cause trouble between u & ur family or friends.This is in order to isolate u from others.
Does the person ignore ur experience?Controllers attempt to define ur reality.If u say u're tired & d person says u're not, that's a good sign he or she is a controlling person.
Notice people who get frustrated with normal questions.Controlling ppl often assume that they understand how u think, even when they actually don't.They may become frustrated because their constructed image of u is at odds with what u say.
Be on d lookout for moodiness. Ppl with moody personalities r often unhappy with their own lives & try to improve their situation by controlling others.
Be aware of people who don't seem to understand d word "no" & who will insist until they wear u down to make u give in.
Consider if u r often expected to change ur plans for this person.Let's say u have ur day all planned out & then u receive a phone call from a friend,& u tell them ur plans.The person wants to join in with ur plans,with d exception that ur time doesn't work well for them,or maybe that isn't d place they want to go.The next thing that u know,ur plans have totally changed.U end up seeing a movie that u didn't care to see,at a time that u didn't really care to go.
Listen for compliments.Often ppl with control issues r not very good at giving sincere compliments.They don't want u to feel good about yourself because it may take control & attention away from them.
Be on d lookout for not only moodiness,but temper outbursts by d other person when u disagree with them or don't do exactly what they want u to do. In their minds,u r challenging their authority over u.
But,keep in mind, just because someone is opinionated doesn't mean they r controlling. A good test to tell d difference between some1 who is just very opinionated or controlling is if they willingly accept or tolerate differences between u and them and don't try to change any part of ur core person or personality.
If u really love this person things can be much more difficult.Most ppl who r controlling always throw in d argument the words "U r d problem" or U have a problem." Nothing is ever their fault.
They always use words like " do this" ", "if u leave", "u need to...", etc.
They can be very generous & seem to give u lots of things.So u always feel like u're benefiting from them in some way & so owe them something. They then use that obligation u feel towards them to control u.
u are correct dear, i once fall a victim and it's only God dat saves me, though his nice and doesnt keep two women but,hnmmm it's more of been in a bondage. | Posted: at 14-04-2011 11:40 AM (14 years ago) | Upcoming | |
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He/she keeps track of your relationships. A controlling person will try to cause trouble between u & ur family or friends.This is in order to isolate u from others.
Does the person ignore ur experience?Controllers attempt to define ur reality.If u say u're tired & d person says u're not, that's a good sign he or she is a controlling person.
Notice people who get frustrated with normal questions.Controlling ppl often assume that they understand how u think, even when they actually don't.They may become frustrated because their constructed image of u is at odds with what u say.
Be on d lookout for moodiness. Ppl with moody personalities r often unhappy with their own lives & try to improve their situation by controlling others.
Be aware of people who don't seem to understand d word "no" & who will insist until they wear u down to make u give in.
Consider if u r often expected to change ur plans for this person.Let's say u have ur day all planned out & then u receive a phone call from a friend,& u tell them ur plans.The person wants to join in with ur plans,with d exception that ur time doesn't work well for them,or maybe that isn't d place they want to go.The next thing that u know,ur plans have totally changed.U end up seeing a movie that u didn't care to see,at a time that u didn't really care to go.
Listen for compliments.Often ppl with control issues r not very good at giving sincere compliments.They don't want u to feel good about yourself because it may take control & attention away from them.
Be on d lookout for not only moodiness,but temper outbursts by d other person when u disagree with them or don't do exactly what they want u to do. In their minds,u r challenging their authority over u.
But,keep in mind, just because someone is opinionated doesn't mean they r controlling. A good test to tell d difference between some1 who is just very opinionated or controlling is if they willingly accept or tolerate differences between u and them and don't try to change any part of ur core person or personality.
If u really love this person things can be much more difficult.Most ppl who r controlling always throw in d argument the words "U r d problem" or U have a problem." Nothing is ever their fault.
They always use words like " do this" ", "if u leave", "u need to...", etc.
They can be very generous & seem to give u lots of things.So u always feel like u're benefiting from them in some way & so owe them something. They then use that obligation u feel towards them to control u.
u are correct dear, i once fall a victim and it's only God dat saves me, though his nice and doesnt keep two women but,hnmmm it's more of been in a bondage.
Live and let live! | Posted: at 14-04-2011 11:43 AM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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Hmmm no qualms sha. | Posted: at 14-04-2011 11:46 AM (14 years ago) | Newbie | |
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