Abusive Relationship! CONTROLLING MEN

Not all controlling men r bad,, besides many women need a man like dat.

Posted: at 11-04-2011 11:14 AM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero

The line between a controlling man and a submissiv woman is small.
A controlling man dusn always mean he is a bad person, or he is treating his wife bad...Sombody gotta take
d lead, so why not him.
A lot of women need a man like dat, to help them live their lives,, som womn no knw how to make
decisions, run the family, things like dat.

Posted: at 11-04-2011 11:25 AM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero

He/she keeps track of your relationships. A controlling person will try to cause trouble between u & ur family or friends.This is in order to isolate u from others.

Does the person ignore ur experience?Controllers attempt to define ur reality.If u say u're tired & d person says u're not, that's a good sign he or she is a controlling person.

Notice people who get frustrated with normal questions.Controlling ppl often assume that they understand how u think, even when they actually don't.They may become frustrated because their constructed image of u is at odds with what u say.

Be on d lookout for moodiness. Ppl with moody personalities r often unhappy with their own lives & try to improve their situation by controlling others.

Be aware of people who don't seem to understand d word "no" & who will insist until they wear u down to make u give in.

Consider if u r often expected to change ur plans for this person.Let's say u have ur day all planned out & then u receive a phone call from a friend,& u tell them ur plans.The person wants to join in with ur plans,with d exception that ur time doesn't work well for them,or maybe that isn't d place they want to go.The next thing that u know,ur plans have totally changed.U end up seeing a movie that u didn't care to see,at a time that u didn't really care to go.

Listen for compliments.Often ppl with control issues r not very good at giving sincere compliments.They don't want u to feel good about yourself because it may take control & attention away from them.

Be on d lookout for not only moodiness,but temper outbursts by d other person when u disagree with them or don't do exactly what they want u to do. In their minds,u r challenging their authority over u.

But,keep in mind, just because someone is opinionated doesn't mean they r controlling. A good test to tell d difference between some1 who is just very opinionated or controlling is if they willingly accept or tolerate differences between u and them and don't try to change any part of ur core person or personality.

If u really love this person things can be much more difficult.Most ppl who r controlling always throw in d argument the words "U r d problem" or U have a problem." Nothing is ever their fault.

They always use words like " do this" ", "if u leave", "u need to...", etc.

They can be very generous & seem to give u lots of things.So u always feel like u're benefiting from them in some way & so owe them something. They then use that obligation u feel towards them to control u.

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Posted: at 11-04-2011 11:35 AM (14 years ago) | Hero

 

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Posted: at 11-04-2011 11:41 AM (14 years ago) | Hero

yeah

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Posted: at 11-04-2011 11:43 AM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero

buh i hope you know that A controlling man considers himself as the superior and will always treat you as an ignorant and useless person. These men use rough and abusive language to suppress the emotions of their partners.

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Posted: at 11-04-2011 11:49 AM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero

How to deal with them:
- U shouldn't present urself in such a way that he/she finds it easily to overshadow u.
- When d controlling person is ur spouse/partner/close friend/colleague,u can't  ignore him/her completely.In such a situation,u need to show ur full cooperation.Make him/her feel that both of u work as a team & that neither of u is the Lord or the master.
- In order to facilitate a response in ur favor,u should express ur feelings in a levelheaded way.Communicate with them about d fact that u feel offended by their strange behavior.
-They often dominate others & become aggressive when they r not listened or agreed to.While dealing with such ppl,u shouldn't project yourself as a weak person,bcz they might take u for granted & start imposing their "rules" upon u.
- It's their way to make u believe that u can't do things without them.In this case,u need to make it loud & clear that u can still make decisions on ur own.Show them that u just want to share things with them,instead of depending upon their support.
- These ppl,by all means,want others to obey them.In d process,they often make pitiable faces as to gain sympathy from others. They may even show anger or go to d extent of crying to get their things done.While dealing with them,u shouldn't surrender urself. Instead,just walk away from d situation,with a smile on ur face.

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Posted: at 11-04-2011 11:58 AM (14 years ago) | Hero

U're welcome!

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Posted: at 11-04-2011 12:05 PM (14 years ago) | Hero

i like dis one

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Posted: at 11-04-2011 12:22 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero

now u knw.. what do u have to say abt it

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Posted: at 11-04-2011 12:26 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero