Extended family gave an Ultimatum "Get Married or Else..." Part 2 (Page 3)

Date: 18-08-2011 9:52 pm (10 years ago) | Author: Darky
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- babita at 21-08-2011 07:16 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
make una dey talk i dey come make i go shit.
Posted: at 21-08-2011 07:16 PM (10 years ago) | Newbie
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- akposy19 at 21-08-2011 07:26 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
it is her life they should let her be
Posted: at 21-08-2011 07:26 PM (10 years ago) | Upcoming
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- cool1933 at 21-08-2011 07:27 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Emmandazie on 19-08-2011 02:25 PM
She is not sincere, How can she say she does not him whereas she has spent over three months in my room?
Come on tell her it is me, yes this me that her family is talking about!


Emma, I am surprised that in this age, you still need people to woo or find a wife for you. What a shame! Is it  that you are so timid to talk to a girl and express you desire to marry her? You are accusing this girl of telling lies even though she stayed with you for three months. What? For those long three months you were so intimidated by her to tell anything and you want other people to do so on your behalf. Personally, I would have done same thing as the girl did. If you were not bold to tell her such a personal thing, i guess the day you want to make love to her, you will also invite you people to convince her too.
Posted: at 21-08-2011 07:27 PM (10 years ago) | Newbie
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- GINGER255 at 21-08-2011 07:40 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
SHE MADE A GOOOOOOD DECISION
Posted: at 21-08-2011 07:40 PM (10 years ago) | Newbie
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- kebella at 21-08-2011 07:43 PM (10 years ago)
(f)
 Roll Eyes Roll Eyes

Posted: at 21-08-2011 07:43 PM (10 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- john2011_4life at 21-08-2011 07:52 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
just passing
Posted: at 21-08-2011 07:52 PM (10 years ago) | Upcoming
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- ghanalove at 21-08-2011 08:22 PM (10 years ago)
(f)
all of you African men calm down!!, this is not your life it's hers, let her do  what she wants because she only has one life to live. and she is living this life for herslf not for someone else, God never said it was a sin to not get married in your life.

 and Not everyone was ment to be married, some just want to be alone.Some of you may not understand this but not every girl wants to be married and have kids, some just want to  probably spend their life searching for the cure of cancer, opening and orphanage for kids like Mother teresa, helping sick people.Or just living a care free life.

 Roll Eyes


all i know is she just wants to live life the way she wants to. and i appreciate her for that.



life doesn't revolve around marriage , it only does if you want it too
Posted: at 21-08-2011 08:22 PM (10 years ago) | Upcoming
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- ngeri1 at 21-08-2011 08:25 PM (10 years ago)
(f)
There is nothing selfish about it. She is free to do as she pleases. I applaud her independence and stern stance against ridiculous, stagnant toned, backwards traditional norms. Socialization practices and gender differences bring about silliness..like families thinking they have the right to interfere in the life of a member that way. Of course our culture enforces togetherness and such..and there is no problem with that. But to force someone into marriage is so ridiculous. It's just for bragging rights. Brag about her, leave her alone.

Quote from: drnoel on 18-08-2011 09:52 PM
People, I hope you remember my previous post (Extended family gives an Ultimatum "Get Married or Else..."). Pls bear with me cos its a little long. Just in case u don't I have the link pasted here underneath:


http://www.naijapals.com/modules/naijapals/relationships-romance/extended-family-gives-an-ultimatum-'get-married-or-else-'/


The lady in question saw all ur posts and wants to thank a couple of people that gave her worthwhile advise and comments. She did say I should let u guys know that she is aware of how difficult it will be to arrive at a compromise cos of the general African/Nigerian mentality, but she say this is her life that is to be decided. She also said someone in the forum asked if she had dated before to answer that she had some years ago. She dated a Nigerian briefly in the UK for 5 months. She loved him so much until he proposed. They started wedding plans but then she found out he kept trying to turn her in2 a house wife, kept trying 2 discourage her from finishing her law degree so just before she graduated she called off the wedding (reason she gave was due to incompatibility).

The whole story though has taken a dramatic turn of events. The new situation is that, she was invited by the extended family to lay her case. This was after she rejected the 3 men the family brought 4 her. She went quietly to the gathering and did not speak all through the event. When they finally called her to speak, after saying all they had 2 against her.
She started by saying something close to " my elders, uncles, Parents, brothers, my family. I have always been docile, I listen to elders talk and I follow advise. I have never raised my voice against my seniors, I have always taken care of my parents. All these I have done cos I knew it was my duty 2 do it. The matter at hand, the matter that we are here 4 is something that concerns me, I am here given an ultimatum 2 marry someone I don't know, I don't even know how he smells. The ultimatum also includes my being ostracized from my own family if I refuse. My answers, is NO.
I will not be blackmailed 2 marry someone I don't know, haven't even seen and don't know if I'll like him. In order 2 stress how serious I am on this issue, I will with immediate effect move out of the house I stay with my parents (the house I renovated) and get a place of my own. I will definitely go ahead with my education, cos marrying 4 me means nothing. Marriage holds no thrill 4 me, and so I will not bother. If at the end of the day I require a child, I do know how to get one, but that would be my decision and not my family.
If my family decides 2 go ahead and ostracize me then so be it cos my mind if made up. I have already gotten a place and I will be leaving the country in a few weeks 4 my PhD.

The whole place was in uproar after she finished her statement but she just walked out.....she said " with her decision intact"
I told her it was a little selfish but what do u guys think?
Comments pls

Posted: at 21-08-2011 08:25 PM (10 years ago) | Upcoming
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- interpo77 at 21-08-2011 08:33 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: GINGER255 on 21-08-2011 07:40 PM
SHE MADE A GOOOOOOD DECISION
gbam-......
Posted: at 21-08-2011 08:33 PM (10 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- ghanalove at 21-08-2011 08:33 PM (10 years ago)
(f)
BTW everybody is selfish, life is about being selfish.


we only do things to satisfy ourseleves, like we help others to feel good inside
Posted: at 21-08-2011 08:33 PM (10 years ago) | Upcoming
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- tunde68600 at 21-08-2011 08:41 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
She had made her decision. but my advice is that '' A stitch in time, saves nine''..she should think and act fast as she continue her education....
Posted: at 21-08-2011 08:41 PM (10 years ago) | Newbie
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- mixbrown at 21-08-2011 08:51 PM (10 years ago)
(f)
I support her decisions............ Everyone must not get married.
Posted: at 21-08-2011 08:51 PM (10 years ago) | Upcoming
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- Fabbkidd at 21-08-2011 08:53 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
I just hope that the decision she took will favor her,i wish her all the best.
Posted: at 21-08-2011 08:53 PM (10 years ago) | Newbie
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- sunanalysis at 21-08-2011 09:20 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
wetin concern me even though she remain single forever, no bi my busines, abeg comot for road make i dey see better people oo jaree
Posted: at 21-08-2011 09:20 PM (10 years ago) | Newbie
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- kelechi86 at 21-08-2011 09:40 PM (10 years ago)
(f)
she got her lfe to live. so be it
Posted: at 21-08-2011 09:40 PM (10 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- kinkyebony at 21-08-2011 10:10 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
I dnt knw abt dis woman who's makin hell out of nting. 2 me she's a maddam of her authority, though she's talkin abt advices of her elders, parents & bros, but she's an adult, a matured woman 4 dat matter. I dnt tink dat she need anybdy's advice, bcos after seen our contributions & advices on d 1st episode of dis article, & listening 4rm her ppl, she still took her personal decission. Den wöt's d essence of disturbing us wit dis post?

I'v seen Igbo woman who got her PhD @ d age of 28yrs after her MARRIAGE wit 4 children, & so many ödäs like dis. But dis woman in question is older, witout MARRIAGE, children, & nt even d PhD. She kept on given xcuses with dis her degree programme & bad characteristics of men. If she cnt abide wit d characters of men (esply Africans), which means dat her marrital quality is 0%, & she'll soon b xpired. So is betä she get serious & settle dwn 6 DIE wit Lesbianism, & stop her senseless xcuses wit pretence. Is betä 4 her 2 say d truth dät no-man want her hnd in marriage due 2 her character & urgly feature, she kept on lyin wit irrelivant factors. EXPIRED Mödä-4kä Shocked Shocked Shocked Huh? Huh? Huh? Shocked Shocked Shocked Huh? Huh? Huh? Shocked Shocked Shocked
Posted: at 21-08-2011 10:10 PM (10 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- ZION7ZION at 21-08-2011 10:17 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
every body have their own right to do what they want to do, Good or Bad. her decision is Ok, Marriage is not a childs play. but am not comfortable where she said Marriage means nothing to her, and that if she need a child she knows how to get one; this shows she plans to join the band wagon of single parents who pretends as if they are happy without man in their lives,as a lady you will always be incomplete without a man in your life,even if have the whole Degrees,wealth in the world. God knows how important Marriage is thats why he joined Adam and Eve together.So i advice her to seek the face of God in this case.
Posted: at 21-08-2011 10:17 PM (10 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- freakyjo at 21-08-2011 10:27 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
wat she said makes a whole lot of sense coz in oda 4 her 2 b @ peace wit her sef & also get dem off her back.Tin is don't rush in2 sumtin u might regret coz marriage its a life time tin,just relax take ur time & blive me u will b amazed.
Posted: at 21-08-2011 10:27 PM (10 years ago) | Newbie
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- sugaDaddy1forU at 21-08-2011 11:49 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
THE POINT HERE IS THAT, SHE DOESNT KNOW THE MAN HER FAMILY BROUGHT TO HER N AT THE SAME TIME SHE HAS NOBODY AT HAND TO PRESENT TO HER FAMILY..WHAT HER FAMILY IS DOING HERE IS JUST TO SAVE HER TIME. THEY KNOW HOW OLD SHE'S RIGHT NOW N WOMEN GETS LIMITED TIME TO MARRY N HAVE KIDS, IM SURE HER AGE IS GIVING HER PARENTS A BIG CONCERN OR MAYBE SHE HAD ALREADY JOLTED HER BIOLOGICAL CLOCK OUT OF HIBERNATION AND INTO HER OVERDRIVE TIME....I DONT THINK SHE CARES ABOUT WHAT EVERY BODY IS TELLING HER TOWARDS THIS MARRIAGE OF THING, OR MAYBE SHE'S A LESBIAN. I DONT THINK U KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HER, SHE NEEDS TO OPEN UP MORE TO U........

Posted: at 21-08-2011 11:49 PM (10 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- JOSOBA at 21-08-2011 11:59 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
Plsssssss i beg u Madam get Married
Posted: at 21-08-2011 11:59 PM (10 years ago) | Newbie
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