People, I hope you remember my previous post (Extended family gives an Ultimatum "Get Married or Else..."). Pls bear with me cos its a little long. Just in case u don't I have the link pasted here underneath:
The lady in question saw all ur posts and wants to thank a couple of people that gave her worthwhile advise and comments. She did say I should let u guys know that she is aware of how difficult it will be to arrive at a compromise cos of the general African/Nigerian mentality, but she say this is her life that is to be decided. She also said someone in the forum asked if she had dated before to answer that she had some years ago. She dated a Nigerian briefly in the UK for 5 months. She loved him so much until he proposed. They started wedding plans but then she found out he kept trying to turn her in2 a house wife, kept trying 2 discourage her from finishing her law degree so just before she graduated she called off the wedding (reason she gave was due to incompatibility).
The whole story though has taken a dramatic turn of events. The new situation is that, she was invited by the extended family to lay her case. This was after she rejected the 3 men the family brought 4 her. She went quietly to the gathering and did not speak all through the event. When they finally called her to speak, after saying all they had 2 against her. She started by saying something close to " my elders, uncles, Parents, brothers, my family. I have always been docile, I listen to elders talk and I follow advise. I have never raised my voice against my seniors, I have always taken care of my parents. All these I have done cos I knew it was my duty 2 do it. The matter at hand, the matter that we are here 4 is something that concerns me, I am here given an ultimatum 2 marry someone I don't know, I don't even know how he smells. The ultimatum also includes my being ostracized from my own family if I refuse. My answers, is NO. I will not be blackmailed 2 marry someone I don't know, haven't even seen and don't know if I'll like him. In order 2 stress how serious I am on this issue, I will with immediate effect move out of the house I stay with my parents (the house I renovated) and get a place of my own. I will definitely go ahead with my education, cos marrying 4 me means nothing. Marriage holds no thrill 4 me, and so I will not bother. If at the end of the day I require a child, I do know how to get one, but that would be my decision and not my family. If my family decides 2 go ahead and ostracize me then so be it cos my mind if made up. I have already gotten a place and I will be leaving the country in a few weeks 4 my PhD.
The whole place was in uproar after she finished her statement but she just walked out.....she said " with her decision intact" I told her it was a little selfish but what do u guys think? Comments pls
Confucius says: Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Posted: at 18-08-2011 09:52 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
Emmandazie at 19-08-2011 02:25 PM (13 years ago) (m)
She is not sincere, How can she say she does not him whereas she has spent over three months in my room? Come on tell her it is me, yes this me that her family is talking about!
Posted: at 19-08-2011 02:25 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
divineproject at 19-08-2011 02:42 PM (13 years ago) (f)
@poster......it is her life.......and those elders have no right to decide for her who to marry...........if you think she was being selfish, then those people are even more selfish.......
A LITTLE HELP HERE; A LITTLE HELP THERE, MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND!
Posted: at 19-08-2011 02:42 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
@poster......it is her life.......and those elders have no right to decide for her who to marry...........if you think she was being selfish, then those people are even more selfish.......
@ devine, may be u are right but the situation is so complicated that being right or wrong does not matter. What matters is what each person or group think. I was shocked with her answer though silently supported her but didn't know what else 2 tell her, so I just told her I thought it was a little selfish.
Confucius says: Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Posted: at 19-08-2011 07:41 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
If u like "NO MARRY FOREVER AND EVER ABEGOOOOO" na ur cup of tea. but am assuring u that, u are going to regret your decision one day am telling u. U KNOW BOOK pass them abi?
Posted: at 20-08-2011 11:00 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie
I think she made the best decision of her life. Standing up to your folks is not easy, but when you cannnot say no to them, the demand and request will never stop coming.
Posted: at 20-08-2011 11:01 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
I think she made the best decision of her life. Standing up to your folks is not easy, but when you cannnot say no to them, the demand and request will never stop coming.
I couldn't agree more...
Confucius says: Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Posted: at 20-08-2011 11:05 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
purityjustice at 20-08-2011 11:11 PM (13 years ago) (m)
ladies should be considering their age in this recent times cos no man would like to marry an old girl even if she is educated. she should consider the advise of her elders cos what a child can't see while standing, elders can see it even when they are sitting down.
Posted: at 20-08-2011 11:11 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
purityjustice at 20-08-2011 11:19 PM (13 years ago) (m)
maybe they girl na wowo dats y her elders are forcing her to get married due to her light brain she wouldn't understand. her elders should leave her alone cos she will coming back begging them to find anyhow man for her by then it will be too late.
Posted: at 20-08-2011 11:19 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
........yu already no that 
...heheh...if yu wanna smell what kebella is cooking........bring it up!!
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