![-]( "repnigeria") repnigeria at 9-09-2011 06:52 AM (13 years ago)  (f) I've noticed here in the states that Nigerians tend to be against interracial relationships and marriages. I'm not sure what the perception is in Nigeria but it's clear that here in America a majority of the migrant Nigerian population is against allowing their children to marry outside of their race. We can argue about divorce rates, family respect, and all the other circumstances and excuses that are used to counter-attack interracial relationships but my question is why are most of our people so against it other than pure racist tendencies?  I've heard many different sides to this but no one is yet to give me a valid, logical explanation for it. Some individuals from other ethnic groups have this narrow-mindedness as well, especially many indians and people of asian and hispanic cultures. In my opinion, it all seems foolish. If someone is in love and has the financial, academic, and psychological maturity and security to do so, why stop them simply because their partner is not of the same racial or ethnic group? A quote from an unknown author I read states: "Supremacists can never make a sound argument using logic and fact because the premise of the superiority of any race in itself is illogical and based on lies." Any thoughts regarding this issue? GO n marry who eva u want, stop barking...
Lol did writing that bit of information make you feel better about yourself? Of course I'll marry whoever I want, it's simply a discussion forum! Maybe this topic just irritates you and that's why you refer to it as barking. Oh well, have a nice browsing experience.
one by one | Posted: at 9-09-2011 06:52 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
|
![-]( "repnigeria") repnigeria at 9-09-2011 06:55 AM (13 years ago) (f) Its like the poster is in love with a man of another race and his family is stopping her from the relationship/marriage.
I'm still quite young and marriage is not on my mind at the moment. My main focus is my academics so this topic is something I've observed over the years. No need to jump at assumptions especially over the internet.
one by one | Posted: at 9-09-2011 06:55 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
|
![-]( "repnigeria") repnigeria at 9-09-2011 06:57 AM (13 years ago) (f) It is not as if Nigerians don't like inter-racial marriage or relationships, the only reason they opt out sometimes is that A Nigerian man wouldn't like his child to remain in another man's land without coming home. What I mean in essence is this, in a situation where a man that married an foreigner dies in another mans land, his children will remain there because the wife will never allow them to come home. So, for this reason, they prefer marrying from home so that if anything happens, their family will be able to see his children and relate with them. There is one place that I know in Igbo land, when their son marries in abroad and dies without bringing his children home, the children shall always be sick and dreaming of their father's village until they are brought home. And if they are not brought home, the children will die over there. The reason is that they made an a covenant that their blood will never remain in another mans land without coming home. And even the Bible says that you should marry from your lineage.
Thanks for giving a somewhat logical explanation but some points are still off to me. Where in the bible does it say to marry from your own race by the way? Aren't we all created equal? smh -__-
one by one | Posted: at 9-09-2011 06:57 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
|
![-]( "repnigeria") repnigeria at 9-09-2011 06:58 AM (13 years ago) (f) it's a matter of choice and there is no need of generalizing coz not everyone share that same view @poster
I'm aware that not all nigerians share that same view and yes I agree that it's a matter of a choice.
one by one | Posted: at 9-09-2011 06:58 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
|
![-]( "Laaw") Laaw at 9-09-2011 06:59 AM (13 years ago) (f) The reason they stress marrying within the culture is due to culture. Every culture is different, so to keep from dealing with the unnecessary stress, they advise you to marry within your ethnicity. Race is the difference between humans and animals. We are of the human race. You can love a person outside your ethnicity, but if they do not agree with your culture then you will have problems. This will hurt you and the children produced in the marriage, so you must ask yourself what is more important? Are you going to follow your husband direction as God tells you too or follow your own desires which do not collaborate with God's will? He stated you should not be unevenly yoked. | Posted: at 9-09-2011 06:59 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming | |
|
![-]( "repnigeria") repnigeria at 9-09-2011 07:08 AM (13 years ago) (f) The reason they stress marrying within the culture is due to culture. Every culture is different, so to keep from dealing with the unnecessary stress, they advise you to marry within your ethnicity. Race is the difference between humans and animals. We are of the human race. You can love a person outside your ethnicity, but if they do not agree with your culture then you will have problems. This will hurt you and the children produced in the marriage, so you must ask yourself what is more important? Are you going to follow your husband direction as God tells you too or follow your own desires which do not collaborate with God's will? He stated you should not be unevenly yoked.
Thank you for your post. I refer to race probably due to habit because in the U.S. we're grouped into different races...black/African, hispanic, asian, pacific islander, e.t.c. I do believe that one can marry outside of his or her own culture without feeling a sense of division. Of course there are going to be compromises on both individuals' parts but I truly feel that one shouldn't have to decide between love and their family's desires. I feel that if someone doesn't agree with your culture, then they wouldn't be in a relationship with you in the first place. A person's culture is in essence, who they are. It's what comprises that individuals' code of ethics, tradition, and life perspective. Someone who doesn't agree with your culture wouldn't bother showing interest in you from the beginning but that's just my opinion.
one by one | Posted: at 9-09-2011 07:08 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
|
![-]( "Laaw") Laaw at 9-09-2011 07:14 AM (13 years ago) (f) Exactly. In America, as a Black, you have to remember the racial issues between Whites and Blacks also. It is not like other countries. We continue to battle in all aspects of life as the hatred continues against us, so I do not advise you to marry a White man from America if that is what you choose. The man may want you, but the family will lynch you. | Posted: at 9-09-2011 07:14 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming | |
|
![-]( "repnigeria") repnigeria at 9-09-2011 07:21 AM (13 years ago) (f) Exactly. In America, as a Black, you have to remember the racial issues between Whites and Blacks also. It is not like other countries. We continue to battle in all aspects of life as the hatred continues against us, so I do not advise you to marry a White man from America if that is what you choose. The man may want you, but the family will lynch you.
I'm very much aware of America's racial issues but surprisingly most American whites are more supportive of interracial relationships than other countries give them credit for. Marriage is the furthest thing on my mind but I have previously dated a white guy and his family was completely fine with it and his mom loved me. Things didn't work out between us because he had horrible control issues and was far too clingy for my liking but it was an okay relationship. I'm not really attracted to other Nigerians (I have yet to figure out why) and white boys aren't generally my cup of tea but whoever comes along will be fine by me no matter the race. In America not all white people hate blacks but the statement about the family lynching you is a bit over the top given the modern times that we're in. I find that the people most racist towards blacks here are actually other minorities! It's absolutely ridiculous but hey it is what it is.
one by one | Posted: at 9-09-2011 07:21 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
|
![-]( "Laaw") Laaw at 9-09-2011 07:32 AM (13 years ago) (f) I am old generation and military Black American who have traveled and lived all over America. I have a white sister-in-law and her family hates my family. This is even though we are very upscaled and educated. I am not saying all white's do that, what I am saying to you is to watch yourself especially in the current mood of America. My daughter married a white man and suffered the control you spoke of and she was beat by him. His families answer was for her to stay and work it out. They felt it was ok. What saved him from losing his life is the police holding my back. She left him but the family continues to try to cause issues and the police feel it is ok. I do not know who you converse with or how long you have been here in America. I am glad you had enough sense to leave him and I am not telling you who to date, but do not ever think that things have change that much in America. | Posted: at 9-09-2011 07:32 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming | |
|
![-]( "repnigeria") repnigeria at 9-09-2011 07:46 AM (13 years ago) (f) I am old generation and military Black American who have traveled and lived all over America. I have a white sister-in-law and her family hates my family. This is even though we are very upscaled and educated. I am not saying all white's do that, what I am saying to you is to watch yourself especially in the current mood of America. My daughter married a white man and suffered the control you spoke of and she was beat by him. His families answer was for her to stay and work it out. They felt it was ok. What saved him from losing his life is the police holding my back. She left him but the family continues to try to cause issues and the police feel it is ok. I do not know who you converse with or how long you have been here in America. I am glad you had enough sense to leave him and I am not telling you who to date, but do not ever think that things have change that much in America.
Thank you for that and yes I do feel that being black anywhere one has to tread with caution in all interactions. I do think that's with choosing any friend or mate though as one of my friends' father is a chronic cheater and constantly beats his wife and both are nigerian. If someone has a tendency to be violent it's a characteristic that has small hints which can be seen early on in the relationship. It's shameful that the police haven't encouraged a restraining order or something of that sort to stop the harassment geared towards your daughter. That's a truly sad story.
one by one | Posted: at 9-09-2011 07:46 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
|
![-]( "deesad2002") deesad2002 at 9-09-2011 09:06 AM (13 years ago) (m) I think not allowing your relative to marry a foreigner is just racial, prejudicial and ill advised. Stereotyping and anti semitism is evil and has no place in the world today. People should not be judged on the colour of their skin or on the place they were accidentally born. We are all humans and we are equal. We should be free to marry whomever as long as the person possess the qualities that suits us. | Posted: at 9-09-2011 09:06 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
|
![-]( "honestlv") honestlv at 9-09-2011 10:08 AM (13 years ago) (f)  | Posted: at 9-09-2011 10:08 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming | |
Reply |
![-]( "fly09") fly09 at 9-09-2011 11:10 AM (13 years ago) (m) sum 9ja folks got dis negative thoughts bout other race but believe me you can find a gud wife among the white peeps,sum white peeps marry cuz the luv,sum marry cuz you gud in bed while sum nigerian marry cuz of residence permit,sum marry cuz of luv too but coming to dat divorce aspect,we the 9ja men living outta nigeria always cause the wahala,we cannot compare the divorce rate outta nigeria to 9ja cuz in 9ja,divorce is a taboo topic.it don´t matter wat 9ja does,9ja is still backwards,we all have the right to marry wateva race we want as long as it makes you happy,no parents should be allowed to mix into a relationship cuz of race and such still exist in 9ja. | Posted: at 9-09-2011 11:10 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
|
@poster- pls dont b surprised. Some Nigerians resist change- infcat, some parents wont allow their kids to marry frm another tribe so it is hardly surprising for me. Most ppl rely on stereotypes wen dealing with groups of ppl without taking time to understand them. To give an example, my mom believes that if you are not Yoruba, Hausa (or Fulani), then you must be an Ibo-person (sbe includes Ppl frm Edo, Akwa Ibom or Calabar). Now for sumone like that cant take the time to find out about other cultures frm their country, how can u b openminded about other cultures? | Posted: at 9-09-2011 11:41 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
|
![-]( "sobeit") sobeit at 9-09-2011 02:41 PM (13 years ago) (m) There are thousands of other people besides "akata." Gosh I hate that word it's so demeaning. Anyway, yes I can understand where you're coming from but there are other cultures which harbor the same moral and ethical standards that nigerians do as well. And not all American-born blacks fit into the negative stereotype that you claim. I personally am not attracted to "akata" or whatever but as people some of them are well-meaning individuals who are educated with high moral standards. On the other hand, nigerians tend to hail marriages are cream of the crop when in reality I've seen nigerian marriages that are in shambles. They hesitate showing it in public but you can tell they are absolutely MISERABLE. I actually know Nigerians who have gotten divorced yet so many of us act as if such a thing doesn't exist among us. The point I'm trying to drive across is that all the qualities we tend to think are only limited to Nigerians can be found in individuals from many other cultures. It's a thing of preference I agree but there's no need to disallow someone to marry who they please because it doesn't suit your desires. Nigerians definitely have a false sense of cultural or racial superiority and many of us act as if our sh*t don't stink. We're so quick to point out the flaws in others without looking at ourselves first and that is why I think Nigeria can be such a backward nation at times. As a people we still have a whole lot to work on in my honest opinion.
you are blaming Hopea23 of being "stereotyping" while u are actually doing the same.u can see it from the highlighted words.the fact is that not everyone see it that way and besides interracial relationships/marriage faces prejudice and discrimination all over the world, no society or country is immune from it.As long as i'm concern there is absolutely no significant difference that distinguish one racial group from another.all racial group got it own uniqueness..it's all comes down to preference and what you want cuz interracial relationship isn't made for weaklings,narrow minded and shallow people, but for those that are strong enough to embrace and acknowledge the cultural differences. Then that was a wrong choice of words on my part. The word that was missing from those sentences is most. I wouldn't say some, because a majority of us have that superiority complex. So yes, most nigerians have a false sense of racial and cultural superiority. In fact I have yet to meet one who doesn't think the sun shines out their behind. Just stating what I've observed. oh come don't try to tell me you are yet to meet a Nigerian with a liberal view on interracial relationship.if so,then it depends on the area you grown up.i'll tell you that nigerians are actually in it, but statistically i can't really tell.i'll agree with you in some extent,interracial relationship is still a problem in nigeria mainly from the 'older generation' do to lack of awareness from unprecedented changes that's taking place in our societies in general..the demographic changes we are currently witnessing in our society is helping/would help to eradicate such thought from our younger generation.and you can see that a lot of younger nigerians are living in a cosmopolitan cities around the globe where interracial marriages are becoming common.it's just matter of time people we learn to adapt and embrace it cuz change is constant! | Posted: at 9-09-2011 02:41 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
|
![-]( "HOPEA23") HOPEA23 at 9-09-2011 02:56 PM (13 years ago) (f) like i told you the other day ....for the fact that the relationship you had with one benin woman and it didn't work out as you expected it to be or she dumped your lame ass doesn't mean all benin women are all the same...and i can still recall that i'd advised you to take heart...that it wasn't benin women who advised her to leave your ass. talking about all nigeria women...remember your mother and sisters/sister are from nigeria...that equally include them as well...meaning that,your mom first hubby,she killed him in other to inherit all his properties and she will eventually do the same to your poor dadddy..just very soon...however,your sisters are about to take her foot steps...fool..your wife will do the ssame to you..that is if you will get one... dude,read the topic again and make a sensible comment...and is a woman who post this topic not a man...
LOVE COMES TO THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN IT...LET TALK ABOUT LOVE. | Posted: at 9-09-2011 02:56 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
|
![-]( "kebella") kebella at 9-09-2011 03:44 PM (13 years ago) (f)
my name is kebella  ........yu already no that  ...heheh...if yu wanna smell what kebella is cooking........bring it up!! | Posted: at 9-09-2011 03:44 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
Reply |
reading mood activated | Posted: at 9-09-2011 03:50 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
|
![-]( "kebella") kebella at 9-09-2011 03:53 PM (13 years ago) (f) looking mood activated lols
my name is kebella ........yu already no that ...heheh...if yu wanna smell what kebella is cooking........bring it up!! | Posted: at 9-09-2011 03:53 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
|
![-]( "HOPEA23") HOPEA23 at 9-09-2011 04:01 PM (13 years ago) (f) @chim that food you nor dey chop am finish
LOVE COMES TO THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN IT...LET TALK ABOUT LOVE. | Posted: at 9-09-2011 04:01 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
|
repnigeria
TRENDING GISTS 
Leo XIV Celebrates First Mass After Historic Election As Pope
He Laughed At Me When I Had Issues With The Authorities -Bobrisky React To VeryDarkMan’s Arrest
PHOTOS: Troops Arrest Notorious Gunrunners, Recover Arms In Kaduna
PHOTOS: Young Woman Brutally Murdered By Suspected Ritualists, Priv@te Part Removed In Ogun
Woman Slams Her Husband For Allegedly Having Unprotected S3x With Random Girls After Publicly Apologizing To Her