GUy ANd SYstem ANalyst

Date: 06-01-2009 7:49 pm (15 years ago) | Author: K
[1] 2
- at 6-01-2009 07:49 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
                              ENJOY

THIS IS WHAT A GUY WROTE TO A SYSTEM ANALYST;

 Dear Systems Department,


 I am desperate for some help!


 I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child
 Processing and also took up a lot  of space and valuable
 resources.

 This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In
 addition Wife 1.0 Installs itself into all other
 programs and launches during systems Initialization and
 then it monitors all other system activities.


 Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5"
 and "Golf 5.3" no longer Run, and crashes the
 system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Selected
 "Saturday Football 6.3" always fails and
 "Saturday Shopping 7.1" runs instead.


 I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the backgroundwhilst
 attempting to run any of my favourite applications. Be it
 online or offline. I am thinking of going back to
 "Girlfriend7. 0", but uninstall doesn't work on
 this program.
 Can you please help?


         ...... AND THIS WHAT THE ANALYST SAID;


 Dear Customer,


 This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
 misunderstanding of the functions of the "wife1.0
 "program. Many customers upgrade from "Girlfriend
 7.0" to "Wife 1.0 " thinking that "Wife
 1.0" is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.

 Actually, "Wife 1.0 " is an OPERATING SYSTEM
 designed by it's Creator to Run everything. You are
 unlikely to be able to purge "Wife 1.0 "and still
 convert back to "Girlfriend 7.0 ", as "Wife
 1.0" was not designed to do this and it is Impossible
 to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the
 System once it is installed. Some people have tried to
 install "Girlfriend 8.0 "or "Wife 2.0 "
 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under
 Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).


 Having " Wife 1.0 " installed, I recommend you
 keep it installed And deal with the difficulties as best as
 you can. When any faults or problems Occur, whatever you
 think has caused them, you must run the
 C:\APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME Program and avoid attempting
 to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.

 It may be necessary to run  C:\APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME
 for a number of  times, and eventually hope that the
 operating system will return to normal. "Wife 1.0
 ", although a very high maintenance  program, can be
 very rewarding.


 To get the most out of it, consider buying additional
 Software  such as "Flowers 2.0" and
 "Chocolates 5.0" or  "HUGS\KISSES
 600.0" or "TENDERNESS \ UNDERSTANDING
 1000.0", or even "Eating Out Without the Kids
 7.2.1" (if child processing has already started).

 DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary
 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand
 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported
 Application for "Wife 1.0 "and the system will
 almost certainly CRASH.


 BEST OF LUCK!

 Your Systems Analyst,

 

 

Posted: at 6-01-2009 07:49 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie
- Jboy4shezo at 7-01-2009 08:43 AM (15 years ago)
(m)
Too long. i no fit read am finish
Posted: at 7-01-2009 08:43 AM (15 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Sillyjokker at 7-01-2009 11:22 AM (15 years ago)
(f)
Very funnie... creative... my husband must read this. hahahahaha! Grin Grin Grin Grin

Posted: at 7-01-2009 11:22 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Sillyjokker at 7-01-2009 11:23 AM (15 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Jboy4shezo on  7-01-2009 08:43 AM
Too long. i no fit read am finish

 Tongue Tongue Tongue why? ok shorten it...

Posted: at 7-01-2009 11:23 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- hacangel26 at 7-01-2009 01:25 PM (15 years ago)
(f)
kai tooo long

Posted: at 7-01-2009 01:25 PM (15 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- femaadinho at 7-01-2009 02:51 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
too long but nice anyway
Posted: at 7-01-2009 02:51 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- segxi at 7-01-2009 04:43 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
LOL
Posted: at 7-01-2009 04:43 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Donmicheal at 7-01-2009 04:48 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
why LOL      this shith is dem too loog
Posted: at 7-01-2009 04:48 PM (15 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- dinho4lyf at 7-01-2009 05:24 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
no time to read all dis textbook
Posted: at 7-01-2009 05:24 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Edwizzie at 7-01-2009 06:50 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
Wow! Guy you too much o. Even as long as it is, every line make sense. Keep this up.
Posted: at 7-01-2009 06:50 PM (15 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Edwizzie at 7-01-2009 06:51 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
Wow! Guy you too much o. Even as long as it is, every line make sense. Keep this up.
Posted: at 7-01-2009 06:51 PM (15 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Emmanuel4christ at 7-01-2009 07:36 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
na whaooooo toooo long but i  read am reach half and i stop......
Posted: at 7-01-2009 07:36 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- FunkyKing at 7-01-2009 09:06 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
Nice one! Long though but still cool...... more grease...

Posted: at 7-01-2009 09:06 PM (15 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- orezo at 8-01-2009 02:26 AM (15 years ago)
(m)
Who don read am finish?
Posted: at 8-01-2009 02:26 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- segxi at 8-01-2009 02:30 AM (15 years ago)
(m)
i don read d guy letter
Posted: at 8-01-2009 02:30 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- orezo at 8-01-2009 02:42 AM (15 years ago)
(m)
ok... Tell me wetin im dey talk abt...
Posted: at 8-01-2009 02:42 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- segxi at 8-01-2009 02:46 AM (15 years ago)
(m)
na d same tin for girlfriend 7.0 na
Posted: at 8-01-2009 02:46 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- orezo at 8-01-2009 02:49 AM (15 years ago)
(m)
i still no understand... d truth na sey i no ft read am ooh... e too long and my doctor don tell me bcos of my chick sey no more long thing...
Posted: at 8-01-2009 02:49 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- segxi at 8-01-2009 03:22 AM (15 years ago)
(m)
ok na
Posted: at 8-01-2009 03:22 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- orezo at 8-01-2009 03:25 AM (15 years ago)
(m)
na so oooh...
Posted: at 8-01-2009 03:25 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
[1] 2

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