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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: LAIR ! |
on: 16-06-2010 03:21 PM
| A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people you are dying of AIDS?" Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch your mom!"  Nice one dude! | | | | |
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / valuable dog |
on: 10-06-2010 12:09 PM
| | On a country road, a speeder hit and killed a dog. The dog's owner stood nearby, a gun in his hand.
The speeder said, "Looks as if I killed your dog."
"Sure does."
"I'm sorry. Was it a valuable dog?"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that be enough?"
"Well, I don't know."
"Two hundred dollars. That should do it."
"Sounds good."
The speeder reached into his pocket and came up with the money. Pressing it into the man's hand, he said, "I'm sorry I spoiled your plans to go hunting."
"I wasn't going hunting. I was heading out to the woods to shoot that mangy dog." | | | | |
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / A women’s lib speaker |
on: 10-06-2010 11:27 AM
| | A women’s lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, “Where would man be today if it were not for woman?”
She paused a moment and looked around the room. “I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?”
From the back of the room came a voice, “He’d be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries.” | | | | |
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / A snake bit |
on: 10-06-2010 11:25 AM
| | Two christian kids are camping, jerry and Mary. jerry had to take a pee and a snake bit him. He screams, "I’ve been bitten, run to a doctor to see what to do”. Little mary runs to a doctor and the doctor says you got to suck the venom out and then spit. Little mary runs back and asks jerry:” were is the bite? jerry says on my penis, what did the doctor say?. mary replies "the doctor said your going to die”. | | | | |
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / A women’s lib speaker |
on: 10-06-2010 11:17 AM
| | A women’s lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, “Where would man be today if it were not for woman?”
She paused a moment and looked around the room. “I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?”
From the back of the room came a voice, “He’d be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries.” | | | | |
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / It's all in the punctuation: |
on: 10-06-2010 10:58 AM
| | It's all in the punctuation:
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
Hmmmm! WOMEN!!! | | | | |
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: The men approach |
on: 10-06-2010 10:02 AM
| not funny
I would like to read from you somday Miss!! and see if ur joke would sound as funny as u look!!! this guy is on point.... as funny as u look....ROTFL THE GUY WAS BEING RUDE TO THE YOUNG LADY. I BELIEVE IN RESPECTING LADIES. [/quote Which guy? which rude?- she no go give u her number ooo if na my joke u won use win her favour u don faill  !! E-be like say u be women activist. u try! | | | | |
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Perfumes |
on: 8-06-2010 03:03 PM
| why is it that now a days, everything wey dey on top peoples mind na scope. this is serious
Hi fello! i really do not fancy being contacted directly! anyway, since u say its serious, i equally hope its important. call me on 07080242115 my zain line. hope i wont regret dis! | | | | |
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Perfumes |
on: 7-06-2010 01:43 PM
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An old woman is riding in an elevator in a lavish Lagos City building when a young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, sold for $150 a piece!"
Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, sold for $200 a piece!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over and farts and says, "Broccoli - 49 cents a piece.
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Dying Confession |
on: 7-06-2010 12:18 PM
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Becky was on her deathbed with her husband, John, maintaining a steady vigil by her side. As he held her fragile hand, his warm tears ran silently down his face, splashed onto her face, and roused her from her slumber. She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling John," she whispered.
"Hush, my love," he said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk."
But she was insistent. "John," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping John. "It's all right.
Everything's all right, go to sleep now."
"No, no. I must die in peace, John. I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father."
John mustered a pained smile and stroked her hand. "Hush now Becky, don't torment yourself. I know all about it." he said, "Why do you think I poisoned you?" | | | | |
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / A boy and his date |
on: 4-06-2010 03:03 PM
| | A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town. Abruptly, the girl stopped the boy dead in his tracks.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After the obligatory cigarette, the boy sat in the driver's seat, staring out the window.
"Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25." | | | | |
! hope u wont call my reply a story!