I know someone who needs sound advice regarding employing househelp.
I do not have the knowledge or information for her but told her of a site where I could ask for other's opinions and experiences who too lives in Nigeria(all commentsfrom anywhere-welcome). In the US we have househelp (or housekeepers) of all sorts. Most do not live in the home but come to work in the morning and leave in the evening. Some even only work 3-days a week. Others many just come clean and after cleaning, they go to their own house. Those who work for the well-to-do usually live in the home with the employers. Then we have babysitters that only come to the home to take care of the children. The house is already clean and in order, the babysitter just needs to keep it that way and watch after the children. There are others as well.
She is from another country, married to a Nigierian and she is now living in Nigeria for the first time. She is adjusting to the changes but she has never had a househelp. She likes the idea of someone coming to help in the house and return to their own home at the end of the day. Though she is not ok with someone living in the house. She also says that her husband's behavior had changed to verbal abuses, anger outbursts and distance between them for no reason with previous househelps who just came in the morning and left in the evening. The problem is that her husband is insisting on having a live-in househelp and she is highly conerned. She says that the issue of househelp even affects their relationship and she doesn't understand why (nor do I???) She takes care of the kids and the bulk of the daily housework she does and her husband usually takes the kids to school before going to work. She shared they have had many arguments, to the point she states her husband's loyalty is with the househelp and not her. She doesn't mistreat the househelp she says or abuse them but says some have tried to take advantage of her because she is not from there.
I do know househelp can be so helpful and is relied upon in Nigeria but I am not in Nigeria and seeking to give her good advice. In the US life goes on whether you have househelp or not-you make it work. Nor is househelp part of the marriage union...ooppps,that my own thought. Serious comments and experiences please...what is normal and usual regarding househelp in Nigeria? What should she be looking for and what should she watch out for? Anything else you want to add regarding the topic and any advice to pass on to her...thank you in advance.
Prayers are already flowing and good advice is beneficial to us all.
God bless always
Posted: at 19-02-2013 01:57 PM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
Hmmmmm d husband shld explain to her while he wants househelp to live wit them.beside dis house help issue shld not concern d man or maybe he wants to be sleeping wit them.
Posted: at 19-02-2013 03:10 PM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Hmmmmm d husband shld explain to her while he wants househelp to live wit them.beside dis house help issue shld not concern d man or maybe he wants to be sleeping wit them.
abi wetin concern the man,the woma should decide the 1 she wants
Posted: at 19-02-2013 03:22 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
mchinwendu at 19-02-2013 06:02 PM (12 years ago) (f)
Thank you both
I too have asked her why her husband is insisting the househelp live with them...she says that he told her when he was single he always had househelp, even that he could see someone, ask them some few questions and next they would be taken to his house to start work. As well, his family members have househelp and he grew up having househelp.
to me this doesn't answer why
Posted: at 19-02-2013 06:02 PM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
mchinwendu at 21-02-2013 05:31 AM (12 years ago) (f)
Still...why would someone's husband be insisting on a live-in househelp??? Are the options, for the most part, the same in 9ja as in the US? What of the safety factor of bringing in a complete stranger-is the concern on the same level (HIGH) as it is in the US?
HELP...anyone who has househelps would you shed some light on the matter the pros and cons? How did you/your family go about finding and selecting househelp in 9ja? She will have to decide among the househelps that her husband presents to her because she doesn't know anyone yet nor does she know the area well yet either.
In the US housekeepers can be found in the newspaper, employment agencies, housekeeping companies, word of mouth and of course the internet. I have strived to speak to her on a positive note, unfortunately, her mind has already gone to the possibility of the husband's possible 'undercover' intentions towards the househelp. Her name is Anna, please join me in praying for her that the real source-no matter what it is-be brought to light and dealt with in Jesus mighty name, amen.
Posted: at 21-02-2013 05:31 AM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
kattie77 at 27-02-2013 12:16 PM (12 years ago) (f)
pls tell d lady in question that if she stil wants to keep her marriage she should NOT hire a live in house help cos from d story i think her husband has got some evil plans,if she has her way she should hire an older unattractive lady cos men are dogs
Posted: at 27-02-2013 12:16 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
morgrawl231 at 27-02-2013 12:26 PM (12 years ago) (m)
ok na,,,if d husband insist that d househelp must stay, that means the househelp is young and beautiful,,,,then my advice to her is to look for middle age woman wey woooorwor!!! 'urgly' then that one can live with them,then i think d scores is settled..
Posted: at 27-02-2013 12:26 PM (12 years ago) | Hero
Biafranwar at 27-02-2013 02:12 PM (12 years ago) (m)
As the woman is adjusting to 9ja way of life its better for her not to take any house help or else she will have to share her husband with the house help
Posted: at 27-02-2013 02:12 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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