Single mothers should not be sigmatized in the society (Page 5)

Date: 20-08-2009 10:41 am (14 years ago) | Author: yemi
1 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 ... 17
- temi07 at 20-08-2009 09:45 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: d_man on 20-08-2009 09:43 PM
@poster
Dnt see no single mothers facing stigmatization  in my society
if u talking bout teenage mothers..good.. thats just the way it is..Stigmatization of that class aint goin away anytime soon

yep and i like it that way.
Posted: at 20-08-2009 09:45 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- fireman at 20-08-2009 09:52 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
dude I seen it in my society

Posted: at 20-08-2009 09:52 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- d_man at 20-08-2009 10:48 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: temi07 on 20-08-2009 09:45 PM
Quote from: d_man on 20-08-2009 09:43 PM
@poster
Dnt see no single mothers facing stigmatization  in my society
if u talking bout teenage mothers..good.. thats just the way it is..Stigmatization of that class aint goin away anytime soon

yep and i like it that way.
Yea me too
It discourages it

Posted: at 20-08-2009 10:48 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- temi07 at 20-08-2009 10:59 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: d_man on 20-08-2009 10:48 PM
Quote from: temi07 on 20-08-2009 09:45 PM
Quote from: d_man on 20-08-2009 09:43 PM
@poster
Dnt see no single mothers facing stigmatization  in my society
if u talking bout teenage mothers..good.. thats just the way it is..Stigmatization of that class aint goin away anytime soon

yep and i like it that way.
Yea me too
It discourages it
Exactly.
Posted: at 20-08-2009 10:59 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- kenyawest at 21-08-2009 05:09 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
The stigmatization of single mothers are probably worldwide, but very likely Nigeria may have the most conservative view towards single mothers.

Many widows are not given rights when their husbands die.  Majority of their rights are taken from them.  If their husband did not leave a Will, it is next to impossible for them to be awarded their husband property.  If the widow does not have male children, they have less rights.

Many divorced women are not given rights when they get divorce.  The society shuns her as a bad woman who could not keep her home together.  The children most of the time may be taken away from her and given to the husband because Nigeria is more paternalistic in the order in which children are awarded during divorce.

Many women that have children out of wedlock because their biological clock is ticking and they need and want children are also stigmatized.  Here this single mother may have more power to make a decision because she may be independent and can look after her child or children.  She is still stigmatized because the society may view her as wayward.

Teenage single mothers are probably the ones that suffer the most.  Not only are they ostracized by their families, they are also stigmatized by the society.  There is no consideration that under age single mothers were as a result of rape.  Any man having sex with an under age girl is molesting the girl!  Every teenage girl that is a single mother was raped unless they had sex with a boy their own age and got pregnant.  This is where the society should rally and support these young girls.

Many men in the Nigerian culture are of the opinion that they will not raise another man's child or children because the biological father will eventually come and take their child or children which is not always true.

Children used to be considered as wealth.  Single mothers used to hope on God alone because God is the Father of fatherless children and husband to women that do not have husbands.

As the society stigmatizes these single mothers, single mothers should always hang on to their faith that God is their husband and Father to their children.  Hanging onto that faith destroys all society stigmatization.



Posted: at 21-08-2009 05:09 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- fireman at 21-08-2009 06:57 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
well spoken kenyawest

Posted: at 21-08-2009 06:57 AM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- Resi at 21-08-2009 09:27 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: kenyawest on 21-08-2009 05:09 AM
The stigmatization of single mothers are probably worldwide, but very likely Nigeria may have the most conservative view towards single mothers.

Many widows are not given rights when their husbands die.  Majority of their rights are taken from them.  If their husband did not leave a Will, it is next to impossible for them to be awarded their husband property.  If the widow does not have male children, they have less rights.

Many divorced women are not given rights when they get divorce.  The society shuns her as a bad woman who could not keep her home together.  The children most of the time may be taken away from her and given to the husband because Nigeria is more paternalistic in the order in which children are awarded during divorce.

Many women that have children out of wedlock because their biological clock is ticking and they need and want children are also stigmatized.  Here this single mother may have more power to make a decision because she may be independent and can look after her child or children.  She is still stigmatized because the society may view her as wayward.

Teenage single mothers are probably the ones that suffer the most.  Not only are they ostracized by their families, they are also stigmatized by the society.  There is no consideration that under age single mothers were as a result of rape.  Any man having sex with an under age girl is molesting the girl!  Every teenage girl that is a single mother was raped unless they had sex with a boy their own age and got pregnant.  This is where the society should rally and support these young girls.

Many men in the Nigerian culture are of the opinion that they will not raise another man's child or children because the biological father will eventually come and take their child or children which is not always true.

Children used to be considered as wealth.  Single mothers used to hope on God alone because God is the Father of fatherless children and husband to women that do not have husbands.

As the society stigmatizes these single mothers, single mothers should always hang on to their faith that God is their husband and Father to their children.  Hanging onto that faith destroys all society stigmatization.




Quite impressive.

Posted: at 21-08-2009 09:27 AM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- around_d_corner at 21-08-2009 10:20 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: kenyawest on 21-08-2009 05:09 AM
The stigmatization of single mothers are probably worldwide, but very likely Nigeria may have the most conservative view towards single mothers.

Many widows are not given rights when their husbands die.  Majority of their rights are taken from them.  If their husband did not leave a Will, it is next to impossible for them to be awarded their husband property.  If the widow does not have male children, they have less rights.

Many divorced women are not given rights when they get divorce.  The society shuns her as a bad woman who could not keep her home together.  The children most of the time may be taken away from her and given to the husband because Nigeria is more paternalistic in the order in which children are awarded during divorce.

Many women that have children out of wedlock because their biological clock is ticking and they need and want children are also stigmatized.  Here this single mother may have more power to make a decision because she may be independent and can look after her child or children.  She is still stigmatized because the society may view her as wayward.

Teenage single mothers are probably the ones that suffer the most.  Not only are they ostracized by their families, they are also stigmatized by the society.  There is no consideration that under age single mothers were as a result of rape.  Any man having sex with an under age girl is molesting the girl!  Every teenage girl that is a single mother was raped unless they had sex with a boy their own age and got pregnant.  This is where the society should rally and support these young girls.

Many men in the Nigerian culture are of the opinion that they will not raise another man's child or children because the biological father will eventually come and take their child or children which is not always true.

Children used to be considered as wealth.  Single mothers used to hope on God alone because God is the Father of fatherless children and husband to women that do not have husbands.

As the society stigmatizes these single mothers, single mothers should always hang on to their faith that God is their husband and Father to their children.  Hanging onto that faith destroys all society stigmatization.




is  interestin to hear
Posted: at 21-08-2009 10:20 AM (14 years ago) | Hero
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- NenyeN at 21-08-2009 12:49 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Kenyawest, that is a nice, well thought out post, but I have to disagree with the last sentence. Hanging on to faith is like trying to ignore the stigmatization, and the stigmatization will always be there. So ignoring it doesn't destroy it (make it go away).

People, our cultures still hold steadfast that one of the reasons, if not the only reason, for marriage is to have children. So regardless of the circumstance surrounding any single mother (teenage or not), the immediate response is disapproval [stigmatization] in our cultures, because the child is not of wedlock. So, until single mothers are willing to tell people the circumstance surrounding their single motherhood, I suggest that they prepare themselves to face disapproval in our cultures, because the only people who likely to not disapprove are people who know the circumstance surrounding the single mother's single motherhood.

Temi07, I agree with you 100%

Posted: at 21-08-2009 12:49 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie
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- Akpan01 at 21-08-2009 01:10 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
HMMM I DON THINK IS ONLY THE TEENAGE GIRLS FAULT TO BE PREGNANT...IT DEPENS ON HOW THE PARENTS TREAN THEM UP AND THE GUY ALSO WHO GIVE AM BELE...I THINK TEENAGE GIRLS NEED THE MOST HELP TO MAKE SURE DEM LIFE AND THE CHILD LIFE NOT SPOIL...ANYWAYS DEY CAN GET PREGNANT TRUE RAPE ALSO....NOT TO BLAME THEM TO HELP THEM THATS THE KEY...AND NORMALLY DEY SUPPOST TO ADVISE TEENAGE GIRLS ABOUT MAKE LOVE ISSUES..FROM THE AGE OF 13-14 LET THEM NOT BE BLIND..

Posted: at 21-08-2009 01:10 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
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- anonymous2 at 21-08-2009 01:16 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Ihuoma on 20-08-2009 01:55 PM
Quote from: anonymous2 on 20-08-2009 10:41 AM
Why are single mothers stigmatised in d society?i mean they say ....NEVER SAY NEVER.Most ladies dat say such can neva happen to them find themselves in dis kind of situation.Now d question is...why d rejection and scorn they face in d society? i think most teenage single mothers should be counselled instead of d stigmatisation.wats ur own view to this issue?

I don't agree.
Being a single mother is different than being a teenage single mother. Now being a teenage single should remain a stigma and should not be accepted in society. What are they going to be counseled on?
i guess pope answered ur question

Posted: at 21-08-2009 01:16 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- anonymous2 at 21-08-2009 01:30 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: pope12 on 20-08-2009 02:10 PM
Quote from: Ihuoma on 20-08-2009 01:55 PM
Quote from: anonymous2 on 20-08-2009 10:41 AM
Why are single mothers stigmatised in d society?i mean they say ....NEVER SAY NEVER.Most ladies dat say such can neva happen to them find themselves in dis kind of situation.Now d question is...why d rejection and scorn they face in d society? i think most teenage single mothers should be counselled instead of d stigmatisation.wats ur own view to this issue?

I don't agree.
Being a single mother is different than being a teenage single mother. Now being a teenage single should remain a stigma and should not be accepted in society. What are they going to be counseled on?

lets not look at it from the illicit sex point of view.
what if the pregnancy resulted from a rape incidence and the girl in question decided to keep it.

thanks

Posted: at 21-08-2009 01:30 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- anonymous2 at 21-08-2009 01:36 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Ann-marie on 20-08-2009 09:21 PM
d stigma only lasts wen d kids n modaz r yung but afta some years it dies down cuz u find out dat girlz dat have kidz at certain ages lik 4rm 13 2 like 18,dey relax at d end.cuz at lik age 35 wen dia mates r stil Bosom  feedin dey r seein dia kid(kidz) alredy finishin skool,workin n even takin care of dem!!!!
uve got brains gal

Posted: at 21-08-2009 01:36 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- pope12 at 21-08-2009 01:40 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: kenyawest on 21-08-2009 05:09 AM
The stigmatization of single mothers are probably worldwide, but very likely Nigeria may have the most conservative view towards single mothers.Many widows are not given rights when their husbands die.  Majority of their rights are taken from them.  If their husband did not leave a Will, it is next to impossible for them to be awarded their husband property.  If the widow does not have male children, they have less rights.Many divorced women are not given rights when they get divorce.  The society shuns her as a bad woman who could not keep her home together.  The children most of the time may be taken away from her and given to the husband because Nigeria is more paternalistic in the order in which children are awarded during divorce.Many women that have children out of wedlock because their biological clock is ticking and they need and want children are also stigmatized.  Here this single mother may have more power to make a decision because she may be independent and can look after her child or children.  She is still stigmatized because the society may view her as wayward.Teenage single mothers are probably the ones that suffer the most.  Not only are they ostracized by their families, they are also stigmatized by the society.  There is no consideration that under age single mothers were as a result of rape.  Any man having sex with an under age girl is molesting the girl!  Every teenage girl that is a single mother was raped unless they had sex with a boy their own age and got pregnant.  This is where the society should rally and support these young girls.Many men in the Nigerian culture are of the opinion that they will not raise another man's child or children because the biological father will eventually come and take their child or children which is not always true.Children used to be considered as wealth.  Single mothers used to hope on God alone because God is the Father of fatherless children and husband to women that do not have husbands.As the society stigmatizes these single mothers, single mothers should always hang on to their faith that God is their husband and Father to their children.  Hanging onto that faith destroys all society stigmatization.

intresting and impressive post.
 self imposed and teenage single parenthood is our the point of discussion.
Posted: at 21-08-2009 01:40 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
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- anonymous2 at 21-08-2009 01:40 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: temi07 on 20-08-2009 09:28 PM
Quote from: NenyeN on 20-08-2009 09:10 PM
I do not understand how people cannot expect stigmatization in cultures that are still heavily centered on the idea that family is a man, woman, and children. I personally have no problem with stigmatizing teenage mothers [to be] (with the exception of rape). As for single mothers... that would depend on the situation surrounding their single motherhood.
Thank you, yes even though they should'nt be stigmatized to the point of alienation, wrong is wrong and am only talking abt teenage mothers, like the stupid 15 year olds that made a pact to give birth in the same month and 17 of them got pregnant, they need more than ass whooping. Majority of all teenage pregnancies are by accident, i look @ it this way, if u are ready to have unprotected sex then u should be ready to shoulder everything that comes with it and @ this point stigmatization does, well maybe except in the US we have alot of single mothers here apparently its fashionable, kinda like a gucci bag.
hmmmmmmm dis issue come tire me sef.........nice one coming from u though

Posted: at 21-08-2009 01:40 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- anonymous2 at 21-08-2009 01:41 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: meczytimber on 20-08-2009 09:35 PM
Well, maybe due to some reason people tend to put them aside. Lets say taking them as irresponsible persons,
i love and care for them.
ohh am lacrimating!!!!!!!!!!
awwwwwwww..how nice of u....i guess u cld organise all this charity programme

Posted: at 21-08-2009 01:41 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- anonymous2 at 21-08-2009 01:44 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: d_man on 20-08-2009 09:43 PM
@poster
Dnt see no single mothers facing stigmatization  in my society
if u talking bout teenage mothers..good.. thats just the way it is..Stigmatization of that class aint goin away anytime soon

u make sense

Posted: at 21-08-2009 01:44 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- anonymous2 at 21-08-2009 01:44 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: fireman on 20-08-2009 09:40 PM
I believe that the harassment many single women face in Nigeria is caused by inadequate laws protecting the right of the girl child.Labour laws as well as there is no empowerment for women more or less single mothers economically.
dats true

Posted: at 21-08-2009 01:44 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- anonymous2 at 21-08-2009 01:47 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Zahradeen on 20-08-2009 10:07 PM
The easiest thing to find in this situation is fault. While they caused the stigmatization themselves, they have two choices: continue to blame the world for their stress or take responsibility for their own reactions and deliberately change their emotional climate.
yeah maybe ure right but lets drop d wayward ones  now.......how about those dat neva wanted it to happen in d first place

Posted: at 21-08-2009 01:47 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- anonymous2 at 21-08-2009 01:53 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
wow........ave got a lot of intelligent and brilliant pple on this topic.....ure all very impressive....thumbs up  Wink Cheesy

Posted: at 21-08-2009 01:53 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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