Single mothers should not be sigmatized in the society (Page 8)

Quote from: sistimlou on 21-08-2009 02:01 PM

I'd like to say that I am a teenage single mother; I'm 18 and my baby girl is 13 months old. And it's people who have the opinion that girls like me are 'bad' or 'sluts' that drive teenage girls who get pregnant to get abortions. I'm not a slut; the only person I've ever slept with is the fater of my child, and I'm not 'bad; I just decided to take responsibility for my actions. If I'd aborted her, who'd've known anything? I was not raped; I had consensual sex with my boyfriend, and I got pregnant. If you are a virgin who has never 'fooled around', then I will be more inclined to view your comment graciously. Having my daughter was and still is one of the most amazingly wonderful things to have ever happened to me, and I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. So when I go out with her and I see people like you staring at us, I know it's because they are ignorant of what it means to make a mistake yet never regret it.

I have prayed and i got the words "Do U", now i don't know if its God or the devil pushing me but i have decided to listen to those words. i hate being a self righteous b!tch but i think its needed in this case, now no one is saying u are a slut because u had sex @ a young age, u are not the only one, the only difference between us and you is we were smart enough to use protection and in most cases backup. Ihuoma was saying something about you being different from the single mothers she knows, well am sorry u are not different from the single teenage mothers i know, my bff was a teenage mother and she took care of her business becoz honestly its all on you. My godson is the best thing that ever happened to her but its still no excuse and u make it sound like you are doing someone a favour by taking care of your responsibility, by dealing with the results of your actions. i know what it means to have a mistake turn into a blessing, i am one of the people that stare, not because i am ignorant but because i live in America and everytime i get a paycheck someone is bending me over and f!ucking me in the ass. Immediately you said you were a single mother the atmosphere in here changed, people started biting their tongues and skipping gently over the issue, even i was trying to find a delicate way out and that's when i realised there was a problem. Is it pity or sympathy, i don't know but we need to address it head on, not talking about it, is part of the problem. i never meant for this to turn out to be a personal vendetta or an attack of any sorts, its just me, doing me.

Posted: at 22-08-2009 06:06 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

Kenyawest, condoning, and approval will only further encourage the institution of single motherhood as a norm. I've stated, and I maintain, that our respective cultures do not accommodate that institution [single motherhood] as an acceptable practice/norm, but we do realize that it happens, and we do take care of the people involved. We know, and understand, that single mothers are here to stay, and we've been culturally well adjusted to those facts for a long, long while now. That still does not mean that we approve of it.

That's the truth.

Fireman, what kind of 'education' and 'proper enlightenment' are you proposing?

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Posted: at 22-08-2009 06:56 AM (15 years ago) | Newbie

*sigh*
Temi07 is speaking the truth.

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Posted: at 22-08-2009 07:03 AM (15 years ago) | Newbie

well I think for one we ought to place priority on sex education and the girl child should be encouraged to go to school.sex education from like 10 years because girls are at higher risk of getting infections than guys.Possibly the orientation of the rural women should be redirected because many of them don't use condoms.

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Posted: at 22-08-2009 07:10 AM (15 years ago) | Addicted Hero

word?...hmmm whats on your devious mind now?

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Posted: at 22-08-2009 07:24 AM (15 years ago) | Addicted Hero

Nothing, i just meant u are right,lol.

Posted: at 22-08-2009 07:38 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

i read everything but i dont really understand u,no1 is saying aving a baby at a tender age is right and i frome the topic i posted,i said NEVER SAY NEVER,it cld happen to any1 even with the so cald back up and all that,now wat im trying to pint at is why d stigmatisation they face......any1 cld be a victim,it doesnt mean any1 is in support of it and wat sisitimolu felt was dat we were critizing her which is not true but we've just tried to adress d issue from different angles

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Posted: at 22-08-2009 11:17 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

passing................

Posted: at 22-08-2009 11:45 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

Now, u don't have to agree with me, its just my opinion, feel free to share yours.

1. I would like to clarify that my rant up there belongs to the category of "teenage single mothers" that willingly by choice decided to have sex. Now the risks involved in having sex includes pregnancy , stds and..........We all know what we are getting into when we do the things we do.

2. "It could happen to anyone"--i would like to introduce you to the world of contraceptives, male condoms, female condoms, pills such as--Lybrel, Yaz, Karvia...etc, Spermicide -- it comes in gels and powders and please free to try diaphragms, Nuvaring works its magic too coz apparently its flying off the shelves, there are many more but am feeling sleepy so......

3. Now if you could please ignore my retarded rants on number 1 and 2 and lets address number 3. ANONYMOUS2 you are part of the problem, am quoting you here "any1 cld be a victim" U stigmatize yet u don't seem to realise ur doing it. A VICTIM of what, being a single mother? They don't have aids, its not a disease, nobody reaped them off, they are not dying, they did not get run over by a hit and run, all they did was have a kid, so why should they be termed as "VICTIMS". Again i hate being a selfrighteous b!tch and this topic just seems to bring out the cattyness in me.
In conclusion, it will sound like am judging and i honestly know some part of me is but theres nothing i can do about it just like theres nothing i can do about teenage pregnancy and the stigmatization so i understand that it is what it is.

Your topic said "stigmatized in the society" does that society involve just Nigeria or u mean everywhere, coz in my current society, i can give u a reason why besides culture.
 

Posted: at 22-08-2009 12:12 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

temi 07 .....wat i meant by victim is .......VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCES,do u really think all teenagers dat goes into aving protected or unprotected sex really want the pregnancy,some end up saying its a mistake,blah blah blah but we all know wen u go into it ,u shld be able to face d consequence.......on d other hand,wen i say d stigma dat comes wit it,probably bcos ure not in nigeria,u dont seem to know wat im talking about,but d society here in general kind of look down single mothers most especially the teenage ones like they shld be condemned or something.....the society here in nigeria mainly sees single mothers as IRRESPONSIBLE SET OF PPLE.which is not supposed to be so,i think dat alone is enuff STIGMA

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Posted: at 22-08-2009 12:28 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac