This man is simply a control freak and the worst kind..... a perfectionists defending themselves
against their own inner vulnerabilities, in the belief that, if not in total control,
they risk exposing themselves once more to childhood angst. Such people manipulate
and pressurize others to change, so as to avoid having to change themselves;
use power over others to escape an inner emptiness.
When a control freak's pattern is broken, “they are left with a terrible feeling of powerlessness.
Also being a uniform officer give him more ammo ....to enforce his control....
No wonder he went few women already .....lucky for them
if they can't control you or have you as in this case ..
they would take any measures to stop anyone from having you...
Because they can be overt or subtle ...
They can control you by force, or more subtly by guilt(poor me don't you feel sorry for me)
or by time, (I'm not ready yet; I'll be right back; I'm ready but I have to go to the bathroom;
I need to make a couple of more stops) etc.They might act so helpless,
that you feel the need to take care of them; over and over and over again.
If they know you really want to eat at a certain restaurant, or at a specific time,
and have agreed to go with you, they might suddenly mention how they can't eat at that restaurant,
(the food makes them ill, they have allergies at that restaurant, etc.) or
they are taking medicine which requires them to eat at a later time (surely you understand?), etc.
They can control you with left handed compliments,
(oh, did you notice that dress makes you look kind of fat?),
or (I'm wearing my blue outfit, and your outfit makes mine look frumpy).
First they become angry and agitated, then they feel the panic and apprehension,
and then they become agitated and in comes the threats, and when that doesn’t work,
they become depressed. For those of you who didn’t know: In cases like these,
depression is another form of control. If they cannot control you through demanding, threatening,
commanding, or pushing, they will then try to get you to feel sad for them,
or pity them. They feel if they can get you to feel sympathy for their poor souls,
that they will once again gain control over you through guilt.
There are 2 types of control freaks ....
1.These people are purely trying to control the anxiety and fear they feel in their lives,
and to a certain extent, they are unaware that you even exist. They are dealing with their
fears in a self-absorbed way, and you will notice this by the agitation in their voice,
and they will avoid eye contact with you in most cases.
2. This person is also trying to manage their anxieties and fears,
but this type needs to diminish you in order to feel better. As they feel worse about themselves,
they will push and pick at you in an attempt to make you feel the way they do or worse.
They don’t just want to feel in control of you, they want to believe they have defeated you.
They want you to feel helpless, wrong, and just generally terrible. As the famous quote goes,
“misery loves company”. They feel that if they can make you feel like a horrible person,
they will feel better. The sad part is that they never truly get that feeling they are looking for,
they only end up feeling worse about themselves in the end.
So if you have one at home or dealing with one in a relationship, please leave to save soul the agony ....
and if you can't for whatever reason....or you happen to have to deal with one .....here are ways you can combat
their controlling ways and still stay sane in the middle of all the hullabaloo.
-They tend to generate a lot of tension, especially when they are feeling particularly down trodden
about themselves. They tend to search out their next victim in hopes of making themselves feel better.
The best thing you can do is to keep your cool. This, in essence, is not always the easiest thing to do.
You will be lucky if you find yourself under their scrutiny from a phone or email, those are easy to ignore.
However, if you are caught in a room with one of these people, the best thing you can do is to step back
and keep a safe distance from them. This is more for you than for them because you will want to do your best
to remain centered while you speak to them. Turn your inner thoughts to your breathing,
keep it calm and collected, don’t let them get your heart pumping. Believe me, its not worth it!
As they tend to get more agitated and demanding from your calmness,
it will become more important to keep your cool. Just breath deeply and slowly.
If you can manage to stay calm, cool, and collected, your aura will most likely have the effect of calming them as well.
All be it, it might not be a lot, but it’s a lot better then letting the situation escalate by giving into their temper.
If you let them get to you, not only will you waste a lot of unneeded time, breath, and stress,
but you will only fuel the fire.
As in this unfortunate tragic case ...I wish her speedy recovery .....
| Posted: at 26-03-2012 03:02 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming |
|
badnaija
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