![-]( "mallorca") mallorca at 19-06-2010 06:26 PM (14 years ago)  (m) Yes you have found each other and are planning to get into marriage – that social contract between two individuals that unites their lives legally, economically, emotionally and gives legitimacy to their segxwal relationship. But before you take the plunge, before you say ‘ I do’, you need to address certain issues. What are those things we need address before we head down the aisle?............Bring it on people!  This my sis always talk tru. Chei! I mean the real things she dey talk about... Me sef will want to know how much money is stored away in a secret bank account and how much of his life insurance am entitled to. He should also discuss with me which kind of house he's planning on building and when he will be building it...and also if he's soon to become a doctor. I think the most important discussion will be my hair getting done each week and we going to eat or unless he's ready to cook everyday-because am sure he's not expecting me in the kitchen especially when i can't cook. Ehen..yea i think that should be the beginning of some of the issues to discuss. 
HOPE IS MY ROAD,VICTORY IS MY DESTINY | Posted: at 19-06-2010 06:26 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
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poster am not yet ready to say "I DO" not even in the next three yrs.........  Oga ceejay__Abeg nor swear for yourself O? | Posted: at 19-06-2010 06:47 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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Are many things which should be taken in consideration!
Ppl are changing, we should try to figure out if those changes will be to the same direction!
Try to find out ppl's opinion about the other person! That doesn't mean to believe everything u hear about him/her,
but doesn't hurt to test it!
Ask him/her about his/her past relationships,just to see if he/she only criticize, or he/she is mature enough to assume
his/her faults, and you can find out if he/she is mature enough to take the truth, no matter how bitter it may be!
Find out about his work before he/she met you! If she/he changed too often the places, the reasons why he/she has done that.
When you're only u two together, his/her behavior is different comparing with when his/her friends are around?Is he/she giving u the same amount of care and he/she speaks to you with the same tenderness? The answer better be Yes,otherwise maybe he'she
is not feeling so comfortable with u!
What he thinks about your friends? Did he/she try to forbid u from seeing them?That would mean that he/she is too possessive
to bear for such a "long road" as marriage is!
Money issue should be also discussed, otherwise will appear problems later.
Think well if he/she is really what u're looking for,and don't think that you'll change him/her in time!
Are really too many things to think about, before making such a big step!
i like ur comment ! rily things to think about ! | Posted: at 19-06-2010 06:58 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
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Have we considered the in-laws........would we allow them come to spend time in our home?......How do we handle them? do we allow them dictate for us??..........MORE QUESTIONS, but they are issues!
We can allow them to visit us,to advice us,but...only if we ask for advice!That could be a big issue! And really delicate! Maybe they will think it's time to give u some advice at time in some kind of situation, wuld u take it then ? | Posted: at 19-06-2010 07:00 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
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Have we considered the in-laws........would we allow them come to spend time in our home?......How do we handle them? do we allow them dictate for us??..........MORE QUESTIONS, but they are issues!
We can allow them to visit us,to advice us,but...only if we ask for advice!That could be a big issue! And really delicate! Maybe they will think it's time to give u some advice at time in some kind of situation, wuld u take it then ? The in laws really can spoil the entire relationship sometimes
Live and let live! | Posted: at 19-06-2010 07:05 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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Are many things which should be taken in consideration!
Ppl are changing, we should try to figure out if those changes will be to the same direction!
Try to find out ppl's opinion about the other person! That doesn't mean to believe everything u hear about him/her,
but doesn't hurt to test it!
Ask him/her about his/her past relationships,just to see if he/she only criticize, or he/she is mature enough to assume
his/her faults, and you can find out if he/she is mature enough to take the truth, no matter how bitter it may be!
Find out about his work before he/she met you! If she/he changed too often the places, the reasons why he/she has done that.
When you're only u two together, his/her behavior is different comparing with when his/her friends are around?Is he/she giving u the same amount of care and he/she speaks to you with the same tenderness? The answer better be Yes,otherwise maybe he'she
is not feeling so comfortable with u!
What he thinks about your friends? Did he/she try to forbid u from seeing them?That would mean that he/she is too possessive
to bear for such a "long road" as marriage is!
Money issue should be also discussed, otherwise will appear problems later.
Think well if he/she is really what u're looking for,and don't think that you'll change him/her in time!
Are really too many things to think about, before making such a big step!
i like ur comment ! rily things to think about ! Are you gonna need them soon? 
Live and let live! | Posted: at 19-06-2010 07:06 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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Have we considered the in-laws........would we allow them come to spend time in our home?......How do we handle them? do we allow them dictate for us??..........MORE QUESTIONS, but they are issues!
We can allow them to visit us,to advice us,but...only if we ask for advice!That could be a big issue! And really delicate! Maybe they will think it's time to give u some advice at time in some kind of situation, wuld u take it then ? capital letter "NO" | Posted: at 19-06-2010 07:07 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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Have we considered the in-laws........would we allow them come to spend time in our home?......How do we handle them? do we allow them dictate for us??..........MORE QUESTIONS, but they are issues!
We can allow them to visit us,to advice us,but...only if we ask for advice!That could be a big issue! And really delicate! Maybe they will think it's time to give u some advice at time in some kind of situation, wuld u take it then ? The in laws really can spoil the entire relationship sometimes that is true... i had a short relationship before that his parents didnt like me one bit, and i never knew why... This time, i didnt meet the whole family yet because they all live abroad...and i also dont like it, cuz i feel a part is missing inside of me...u understand ? | Posted: at 19-06-2010 07:12 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
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Are many things which should be taken in consideration!
Ppl are changing, we should try to figure out if those changes will be to the same direction!
Try to find out ppl's opinion about the other person! That doesn't mean to believe everything u hear about him/her,
but doesn't hurt to test it!
Ask him/her about his/her past relationships,just to see if he/she only criticize, or he/she is mature enough to assume
his/her faults, and you can find out if he/she is mature enough to take the truth, no matter how bitter it may be!
Find out about his work before he/she met you! If she/he changed too often the places, the reasons why he/she has done that.
When you're only u two together, his/her behavior is different comparing with when his/her friends are around?Is he/she giving u the same amount of care and he/she speaks to you with the same tenderness? The answer better be Yes,otherwise maybe he'she
is not feeling so comfortable with u!
What he thinks about your friends? Did he/she try to forbid u from seeing them?That would mean that he/she is too possessive
to bear for such a "long road" as marriage is!
Money issue should be also discussed, otherwise will appear problems later.
Think well if he/she is really what u're looking for,and don't think that you'll change him/her in time!
Are really too many things to think about, before making such a big step!
i like ur comment ! rily things to think about ! Are you gonna need them soon? i hope so !  | Posted: at 19-06-2010 07:13 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
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Have we considered the in-laws........would we allow them come to spend time in our home?......How do we handle them? do we allow them dictate for us??..........MORE QUESTIONS, but they are issues!
We can allow them to visit us,to advice us,but...only if we ask for advice!That could be a big issue! And really delicate! Maybe they will think it's time to give u some advice at time in some kind of situation, wuld u take it then ? The in laws really can spoil the entire relationship sometimes that is true... i had a short relationship before that his parents didnt like me one bit, and i never knew why... This time, i didnt meet the whole family yet because they all live abroad...and i also dont like it, cuz i feel a part is missing inside of me...u understand ? Yes,I really do
Live and let live! | Posted: at 19-06-2010 07:14 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
|
Are many things which should be taken in consideration!
Ppl are changing, we should try to figure out if those changes will be to the same direction!
Try to find out ppl's opinion about the other person! That doesn't mean to believe everything u hear about him/her,
but doesn't hurt to test it!
Ask him/her about his/her past relationships,just to see if he/she only criticize, or he/she is mature enough to assume
his/her faults, and you can find out if he/she is mature enough to take the truth, no matter how bitter it may be!
Find out about his work before he/she met you! If she/he changed too often the places, the reasons why he/she has done that.
When you're only u two together, his/her behavior is different comparing with when his/her friends are around?Is he/she giving u the same amount of care and he/she speaks to you with the same tenderness? The answer better be Yes,otherwise maybe he'she
is not feeling so comfortable with u!
What he thinks about your friends? Did he/she try to forbid u from seeing them?That would mean that he/she is too possessive
to bear for such a "long road" as marriage is!
Money issue should be also discussed, otherwise will appear problems later.
Think well if he/she is really what u're looking for,and don't think that you'll change him/her in time!
Are really too many things to think about, before making such a big step!
i like ur comment ! rily things to think about ! Are you gonna need them soon? i hope so ! If it's what you really want, I wish you lots of happiness
Live and let live! | Posted: at 19-06-2010 07:17 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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thx bittersweet...if i can ask, r u married ? | Posted: at 19-06-2010 07:26 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
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thx bittersweet...if i can ask, r u married ?
Nop!But that thing u said about abroad stuff it's not strange to me
Live and let live! | Posted: at 19-06-2010 07:28 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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thx bittersweet...if i can ask, r u married ?
Nop!But that thing u said about abroad stuff it's not strange to me oh ok i understand some things r difficult in life, but we have to pass them... | Posted: at 19-06-2010 07:51 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero | |
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thx bittersweet...if i can ask, r u married ?
Nop!But that thing u said about abroad stuff it's not strange to me oh ok i understand some things r difficult in life, but we have to pass them... Really difficult sometimes
Live and let live! | Posted: at 19-06-2010 07:56 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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![-]( "ceejay58") ceejay58 at 19-06-2010 11:52 PM (14 years ago) (m) or do u want me reduce it to just three months.....lol | Posted: at 19-06-2010 11:52 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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![-]( "ceejay58") ceejay58 at 19-06-2010 11:52 PM (14 years ago) (m) WHy are you surprised??......He is a man and can stay as long as he likes!  | Posted: at 19-06-2010 11:52 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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![-]( "ceejay58") ceejay58 at 19-06-2010 11:55 PM (14 years ago) (m) poster am not yet ready to say "I DO" not even in the next three yrs......... Oga ceejay__Abeg nor swear for yourself O? aah but i still wan enjoy small b/4 i go come tie myself down to only one woman na.....lol | Posted: at 19-06-2010 11:55 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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![-]( "Moriah") Moriah at 20-06-2010 12:21 PM (14 years ago) (f) issues i addressed/considered:
do i really want to spend the rest of my life with this person
his religious views/values
money(because if he's in debit, we are gonna be in debt together)
children(whether or not he wants them)
general acceptance of my soon to be spouse shortcomings(ex. like leaving the toilet seat up all the time)
Please forgive me, I dont mean to be rude....but who really cares if a guy leaves the toilet seat up. Whats more important is that you love him and he loves you. Toilet seats can be up or down in my house...... | Posted: at 20-06-2010 12:21 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie | |
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![-]( "Moriah") Moriah at 20-06-2010 12:26 PM (14 years ago) (f) Whenever I think about marriage, it sends shivers down my spine! Choosing the wrong mate to go down the isle with is like grabbing the ears of a raging mad pit bull. The truth is it’s just so difficult to adequately plan before saying 'I DO'. As a result, a lot of men/women learn the hard way after walking down the aisle. No doubt, the price of travelling the wrong part is high, the consequence and lingering effects painful.
Personally, whether a relationship goes beyond the getting to know stage (dating) would be determined by the following:
If I’m dating a guy and all he is interested in is to test drive my body, emotions and feelings, I guess I will just have to show him the door without looking back. Honourable men will always guard a woman’s heart, protect her emotions, honour her and stand as champions for her spiritual, mental and physical well being. Men who lacks honour, will toy with a woman’s emotions without any semblance of concerns or compassion. If he doesn’t fit- i won’t force him. True Love will find me! Expecting a man like this to do an honourable thing is like expecting piranhas to play with you if you make the mistake of diving into their water.
If he is still trying to find himself, then he can’t find me. He should be searching for the maps to mastering manhood and have no business trying to prove that he is a man.
No human is designed or built for abuse. If he is an abuser, there is no need to deliberate……he is definitely not the one; he is a goner!
Ok….it gets a bit funny at this point; if he wants or is frequently demanding s** and I’m not yet his wife, we properly not going to make it to the alter, would we? this is subjective i agree!
And the list goes on............
Listen to this lady....she is wise and understanding | Posted: at 20-06-2010 12:26 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie | |
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mallorca
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