It's Not Only Why You Fight But Also How You Fight That Matters.

at 19-08-2010 09:32AM (9 years ago)

(14716 | Hero) (m)

> Want to get a life that is full of contentment
> and bliss? A relationship based on trust and
> honesty?
> Check out the answers here.

> With this it is possible.
> *******************************************************************
> Like I said before, fighting in a relationship
> is normal and can be a healthy thing.
> The question you need to ask yourself is
> whether you are fighting because you want
> to resolve something or merely because
> you want to get back at your partner or be
> in control.
> If you do the latter then you will both lose
> even if you win.
> *******************************************************************
>> Don't put them on the defensive
> When you do that then your partner will
> simply shut up and all communication
> will stop.
> And we all know that when communication
> stops it's all over.
> That's why if you do fight or get into an
> argument never use the "you" word.
> That's because the minute you do that
> the other person will think you're judging
> them and they become defensive.
> And please, no sarcasm. While it is often
> used to lighten the mood, not so when you
> are in an argument.
> The reverse will actually happen. Sarcasm
> will only make it tougher to find a resolution.
> And no name calling as well. You're not
> a child anymore and doing that will only
> make matters worst, not better.
> And don't make the mistake of making
> threats or ultimatums like you will move
> away if this and this doesn't get done or
> something like that.
> Again it doesn't help and will only make
> things escalate. Not the kind of scenario
> you want to have.
>> If it's about the ding on the car then
> keep it about the ding on the car
> Focus on the problem at hand AND only
> on the problem at hand. Don't stray from
> that path.
> And don't bring up any old grudges or old
> history, especially if they have nothing to
> do with the current situation.
> You are not here to keep score. You are
> here to find a resolution to the problem.
>> Be open minded
> Listen and understand your partner's point
> of view.
> Remember, you're not the only one with
> a side on this issue. Your partner has one
> too.
> Try and see it from their perspective.
> Rephrase what you've just heard to show
> that you were listening. Ask questions if
> you don't understand.
>> Take a break if needed
> Whether we want to or not, our emotions
> will tend to get into the argument. When
> that happens things can get carried to
> far or we stop thinking rationally.
> If you feel like you're not in control ask
> for a break to give both of you time to
> calm down.
> But that doesn't mean it's over. Before
> you take a break schedule when you
> will return to the topic at hand.
> *******************************************************************
> Don't forget that the the purpose of your
> fight is so both of you can clarify and find
> a solution to an issue.
> But please, if you have children, take the
> fight private and keep it private.
> If your children see you fight, they may get
> scarred emotionally. DON'T do that.
> And learn to forgive one another. And once
> forgiven don't bring it up again.
> If you do it right, having an argument or a
> fight can help to change what needs to be
> changed, solve problems and harmonize
> your differences.
> And if you want to learn how to size up
> your partner and get the self-empowering
> approaches to heal yourself when needed
> then check out easy-to-follow guide.
> You can check out your copy here.

> Get enriching advice on how to deal with
> day to day relationship set backs so you
> come out stronger than ever.

bittersweet at 19-08-2010 09:37AM (9 years ago)
(14303 | Hero) (f)

ok ok

onchedu at 19-08-2010 10:04AM (9 years ago)
(7701 | Hero) (m)

sophiebaby at 19-08-2010 10:09AM (9 years ago)
(30950 | Addicted Hero) (f)

this na newspaper oooooooooo

youngk at 19-08-2010 10:11AM (9 years ago)
(622 | Upcoming) (m)

ok....but d list....
omorewa at 19-08-2010 11:15AM (9 years ago)
(3437 | Gistmaniac) (f)

i need my glasses.. Cool

merriegold at 19-08-2010 11:21AM (9 years ago)
(23 | Newbie) (f)

Thanks for the advice. The thing plenty oooo.
divineproject at 19-08-2010 11:26AM (9 years ago)
(12699 | Hero) (f)


diplomatik at 20-08-2010 04:48AM (9 years ago)
(25079 | Addicted Hero) (f)

noted, well partially noted

HOPEA23 at 20-08-2010 05:41AM (9 years ago)
(22359 | Addicted Hero) (f)


blackberryPearl at 20-08-2010 05:44AM (9 years ago)
(13784 | Hero) (f)

so where are my eyes at?...
esonu at 20-08-2010 08:32AM (9 years ago)
(13429 | Hero) (m)


chicco77 at 11-09-2012 05:54PM (7 years ago)
(22128 | Addicted Hero) (f)

 Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes