![-]( "Sunshine09") Sunshine09 at 26-08-2010 04:32 AM (13 years ago)  (f) Sis,
God has to be the head of your household thus the adjoining force in your marriage. After all, marriage is a divine convenant. The hierarchy is God, husband, wife, children, family, job. When either spouse is having trouble with the other, that spouse should pray to God and have faith (faith is... what is hoped for but not seen) that God will bring peace. Right now, you don't see peace...not in your mind with thoughts of him possibly cheating and there is no peace if he is indeed cheating. God will keep what he brought together (Mark 10:9 states "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder"). Meaning, no man or woman (in this case) pull it apart. This is God's word and he will keep his word (Isaiah 55:11 states "So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void...").
See, even if if your husband does not keep his word...God will keep his. You can go to God in prayer and remind him of his word but you have to submit to his will. The awesome thing about God is that he wants you as a willing vessel.
Get your life and household in order by surrending your life to Christ. It's the best decision I've ever made...lol
Take Care
[REMEMBER...IT IS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN DO BUT WHAT GOD CAN DO!] | Posted: at 26-08-2010 04:32 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
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![-]( "tonero11") tonero11 at 26-08-2010 05:41 AM (13 years ago) (m) OK...I C WHATS GOING ON HERE. NO RELATIONSHIP IS EVER PERFECT....THE ONLY WAY THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL SURVIVE IS..."START SWINGING" YES U HEARD ME."START SEEING OTHER COUPLES.  " | Posted: at 26-08-2010 05:41 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
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![-]( "goziebutik") goziebutik at 26-08-2010 08:51 AM (13 years ago) (m) I disagree with Divine Project Comments. Stating that African men are mostly polygamous in nature. Individuality matters in this case. What i love may be hate by others. Stop giving excuses for the guyz action. Let call a spade a spade. Don't Condemn Our culture.
It is wrong traditionally, biblically and psychologically having relationship out of a marriage and i think as an educated man, he should be able to create a peaceful lovely home.
It is not about Nigerian Guyz or European Girls or any other one you might have in mind, It is about what we have, learn, emulate and practice individually. do not allow a shit as a way. Talk to him as your husband without considering differences in race or culture.
I totally agree with u my man,cheating is in most human but it only takes self dicipline and total love and commitment for a man to stick to one woman,africa or non african. Pls girl i advice u to sit him down and talk sense into his head dont let love blind u or u will soon cry and hate other africans thinking that we are all the same. Handle him as ur man stop thinking about the differents between u and him or u will lose him to one of those girls out there.If he truly love u he will not cheat on u. Am a NIG.guy and I hate cheating on a woman.pls we are not polygamouse dont mind them that was old mentality. I wish u best of marriage. | Posted: at 26-08-2010 08:51 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
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my dear you dont need to let him see reasons..or even try to make him see whats right and wrong..even if his a young boy .. he knows what he wants from you.. so if you are a young girl and you have something important you do for him.. kindly withdraw it and enjoy your life.. when he sees you dont pay attention to his activities then he will be more serious to know why and what is making you do that.. nd he will even be a spy on you...so dont mind him his trying to sufforcate you..i advice you to go after young guys like him also and let him see you are also a big girl without him.. then he will be paying attention each time you say something..remember you guys are still young and if u dont do and act as a smart girl u will end up been a push over girl.. | Posted: at 26-08-2010 09:23 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
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![-]( "abbason") abbason at 26-08-2010 09:50 AM (13 years ago) (m) the difficult thing in life is to love someone and he did not acknowledge it. don't give up marriage is a life journey. it is not easy to control guys of such age because he will like to experiment everything possible. your problem is that, U don't trust him but learn to do that even though, he is not to trust. try to know who are is male friends and study their life, it will give secret of whom your husband is. until you know him very well before you have him to urself. SOME MEN ARE EASY SAYING THAN DONE, hemight be this kind guy that like to make just a causal friend with ladies. MAY HE IS BE FRIENDING LADIES TO ALSO KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THE MARRIAGE SINCE U DO COMPLAIN TO HIM. | Posted: at 26-08-2010 09:50 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
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![-]( "youngk") youngk at 26-08-2010 10:08 AM (13 years ago) (m) @poster,what u r looking for from books are all here written in black,red blue etc....my advice take the good one and leave the bad one. u need to sit down,understand what u want in ur marriage,how do u intent to go about doing thing, u have to have a guide(GOD's the best guide) what's ur goals for getting married in d first place... just sit down and talk wit each other,it is well. | Posted: at 26-08-2010 10:08 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming | |
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![-]( "tmusowoya") tmusowoya at 26-08-2010 10:23 AM (13 years ago) (m) Hmmmmmmm, I took time to read through, because I saw this as straight from the heart..........
African men are mostly polygamous in nature....if you check, you will find out that we have less divorce cases in Africa nay Nigeria than in Europe and America. It is not because our men dont cheat, it is because most of the women have conditioned their mind to accept that as part of their men. But I refuse to accept that our men are insensitive to the needs of their women. Rather, Nigerian men do care for their women in anyway possible. I think you both need to really talk. And you might need to be less possessive, our men dont like to be crowded in. Just tell yourself that your man is not cheating on you, then you can have your peace of mind. It takes two to make any relationship work, if he doesnt know that, maybe you should let him know..........
impressive ... divine project indeed!! | Posted: at 26-08-2010 10:23 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming | |
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![-]( "bafyguy") bafyguy at 26-08-2010 10:25 AM (13 years ago) (m) [coMy advice 4 u is thay u sit him down & talk things over.lor=blue][/color] | Posted: at 26-08-2010 10:25 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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![-]( "bafyguy") bafyguy at 26-08-2010 10:28 AM (13 years ago) (m) My advice 4 u is that u sit him down & talk things over. | Posted: at 26-08-2010 10:28 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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![-]( "mickybat") mickybat at 26-08-2010 10:34 AM (13 years ago) (m) Firstly, I must say this is one of the touching readings I have read so far, and all the advices all along, well to my own knowledge, I think we should try to understand the meaning of marriage,when we say Marriage it should be a union between a man and a woman, leaving behind all sorts of infidelity. @ those that says most Nigerian men are polygamous in nature thats not the real truth, shits happens everywhere, I have a white friend who cheated on his woman , they are married and have kids still he cheats, this happens everywhere, all we should all pray for is for a good marriage. infidelity breaks marriages,homes even if the partner involved claims to love the other, it doesnt matter, I believe no woman will ever take that and again men are the most jealous human being, I believe if it was to be the lady that was involved in this act the guy would have taken some actions or used that against her. 2nd If you claim to love someone you will never want to see her sad or cheat on her not to talk of flirting around with ladies, im sorry if I will make the confessor sad, we should all hit the nail on the head, the guy isnt really in love, just as blessedme said most of this guys have got different motives and I bet imeediately that motive is achieved he is finally out.If he truly loves the lady he should stop flirting around and make her happy.This is my Advice, you try to sit him down, ladies have got their way to track their man,try to talk to him made him know how truely you love him, pretend as if you never knew anything,made him know how bright the future is with him, as men has got their own way to win woman's heart ladies have got more power, on that night make him good foods, you might even suprise him with gift, you know what he likes, I am very sure he has got conscience. If this didnt work then this is a very good sign that the love is not real. love or marriage is not kids play, its for the matured and when you are married, you must learn how to be with your woman and not to flirt around with other ladies. prayer too helps. wish you success | Posted: at 26-08-2010 10:34 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
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Firstly, I must say this is one of the touching readings I have read so far, and all the advices all along, well to my own knowledge, I think we should try to understand the meaning of marriage,when we say Marriage it should be a union between a man and a woman, leaving behind all sorts of infidelity. @ those that says most Nigerian men are polygamous in nature thats not the real truth, shits happens everywhere, I have a white friend who cheated on his woman , they are married and have kids still he cheats, this happens everywhere, all we should all pray for is for a good marriage. infidelity breaks marriages,homes even if the partner involved claims to love the other, it doesnt matter, I believe no woman will ever take that and again men are the most jealous human being, I believe if it was to be the lady that was involved in this act the guy would have taken some actions or used that against her. 2nd If you claim to love someone you will never want to see her sad or cheat on her not to talk of flirting around with ladies, im sorry if I will make the confessor sad, we should all hit the nail on the head, the guy isnt really in love, just as blessedme said most of this guys have got different motives and I bet imeediately that motive is achieved he is finally out.If he truly loves the lady he should stop flirting around and make her happy.This is my Advice, you try to sit him down, ladies have got their way to track their man,try to talk to him made him know how truely you love him, pretend as if you never knew anything,made him know how bright the future is with him, as men has got their own way to win woman's heart ladies have got more power, on that night make him good foods, you might even suprise him with gift, you know what he likes, I am very sure he has got conscience. If this didnt work then this is a very good sign that the love is not real. love or marriage is not kids play, its for the matured and when you are married, you must learn how to be with your woman and not to flirt around with other ladies. prayer too helps. wish you success
Live and let live! | Posted: at 26-08-2010 10:37 AM (13 years ago) | Hero | |
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but i have seen men that love their wives and still cheat, men must alwz be men. i dont think there are still men that are 100% faithful to their wives. | Posted: at 26-08-2010 10:49 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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Come on,dear! How could a man claim that he loves his wife, but still cheating on her! That doesn't make sense! If u really love someone, u couldn't cheat on her/him,not even in your mind! That's an excuse which some men use to in the attempt of absolving themselves of such a abomination!
Live and let live! | Posted: at 26-08-2010 10:53 AM (13 years ago) | Hero | |
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![-]( "Abeordun") Abeordun at 26-08-2010 10:59 AM (13 years ago) (f) Sarah, you need to be prayerful! | Posted: at 26-08-2010 10:59 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
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i understand that we cant help but be attracted to others even when we love another. Men- women etc...Ask anyone that has been married / relationship for a long time, it happens. The diff between a man that cheats and one that doesnt is self-control. Is knowing that you value ur family and u love ur spouse too much to hurt them. It is knowing that he has invested too much in his family to let a 5-minute bliss ruin it 4 him. I am not saying, that there wont be one or two slip-ups over the lifetime of the marriage but thats all it should be- and he shud work hard at making amends. I knw it was a matter of tym before sumeone mentions Tiger Wood ....kmt.... I am glad u have found a role-model in him.  | Posted: at 26-08-2010 11:22 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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![-]( "sixtyhoney") sixtyhoney at 26-08-2010 11:22 AM (13 years ago) (f) @bittersweet think u honey.and @poster u are still a young girl if you remian silent you we just die in silent for nothing men don't know the valley of good house life.so my dear wakeup and face reality. | Posted: at 26-08-2010 11:22 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming | |
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![-]( "tmusowoya") tmusowoya at 26-08-2010 11:36 AM (13 years ago) (m) i understand that we cant help but be attracted to others even when we love another. Men- women etc...Ask anyone that has been married / relationship for a long time, it happens. The diff between a man that cheats and one that doesnt is self-control. Is knowing that you value ur family and u love ur spouse too much to hurt them. It is knowing that he has invested too much in his family to let a 5-minute bliss ruin it 4 him. I am not saying, that there wont be one or two slip-ups over the lifetime of the marriage but thats all it should be- and he shud work hard at making amends. I knw it was a matter of tym before sumeone mentions Tiger Wood ....kmt.... I am glad u have found a role-model in him. That a mind of a counselor. Thump UP!! | Posted: at 26-08-2010 11:36 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming | |
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but i have seen men that love their wives and still cheat, men must alwz be men. i dont think there are still men that are 100% faithful to their wives.
Lets continue to make excuses for them...it is in their gene. If a man truly loves a woman n knows that there would be consequences for his actions, he would think twice b4 cheating. Steve Harvey said it all in "act like a lady think like a man": Women r very strong n r capable of empowering men to achieve their potentials but this can only happen when u have standards n require ur man to respect n value u. This explains why a man with so many baby mommas end up marrying one woman n remains faithful to her... | Posted: at 26-08-2010 11:38 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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![-]( "bolster") bolster at 26-08-2010 11:58 AM (13 years ago) (f) B4 I give you any advise I will like to state from people"s observation and fact that if a man does not change any of his behaviour or character b4 marriage he cannot change in during the marriage except for God"s special intervention.In this case of yours I think you move closer to God since you don"t want a divorce and try to know his people over and see if they could help one way or the other.Best of luck | Posted: at 26-08-2010 11:58 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie | |
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i understand that we cant help but be attracted to others even when we love another. Men- women etc...Ask anyone that has been married / relationship for a long time, it happens. The diff between a man that cheats and one that doesnt is self-control. Is knowing that you value ur family and u love ur spouse too much to hurt them. It is knowing that he has invested too much in his family to let a 5-minute bliss ruin it 4 him. I am not saying, that there wont be one or two slip-ups over the lifetime of the marriage but thats all it should be- and he shud work hard at making amends. I knw it was a matter of tym before sumeone mentions Tiger Wood ....kmt.... I am glad u have found a role-model in him. That a mind of a counselor. Thump UP!! thx hun | Posted: at 26-08-2010 12:02 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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Sunshine09
tonero11
goziebutik
sweetpine4u
abbason
youngk
tmusowoya
bafyguy
mickybat
bittersweet
jukkiebukwes
Abeordun
laydeelaracraft
sixtyhoney
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